April Rhodes Act I
by Broadway Babe WA
Summary: April Rhodes "Glee" goes to NY after dropping out of high school and her life goes crazy. Takes place in PD world. Includes RENT Bohemians and a handful of OCs. T for themes. Cowriter whatslifereally. WARNING: Might not make sense. BE IN FOR A SOAP OPERA
1. Sobering Up

**Okay I decided the story was too long and I should split it into two or more. This is basically the same thing but it's counted as a sequel. Onward with the story! April is getting a real job, as in show up on time, do real work and don't drink kind of job. A show doesn't count when I say job.  
I DON'T OWN PUSHING DAISIES OR APRIL OR THE BOHEMIANS!!! If I did PD would still be on air, April would have more story and Collins would win the lottery… HEY! New idea coming!**

* * *

After four months of hardship I go to a last resort.

Olive. The Pie Hole. Asking for free pie.

I hate begging.

I walk through the door. Inside I see Ned in the kitchen with Cookie and Olive is on a stool at the counter. I feel like I'm watching Mark's video! I know Olive got pregnant again and it's been four months (I was the first to know) but really, this was me at two. I guess twins do make a difference. There's another guy too. He's a big black guy reading a newspaper in a booth.

"Oh great. She's got a double," he groans looking up.

I ignore this.

"Olive, if I asked you for a pie… would I have to pay?" I ask.

"No, April. You would never have to pay," she replies.

_Oh THANK GOODNESS!!!_

"Thank you Olive! I'm still broke and I can't go back to the Club."

"Perfect. Itty Bitty two is a poor hooker," black guy complains.

"Shut up," I retort.

_Great. One of those money loving Scrooges who hate me._

"Don't worry April. Come anytime of you need anything. Here, take this."

My double hands me a pile of money. I look down and count.

_Oh my God, it's a HUNDRED DOLLARS!!!_

I'm about to scream. Good thing I don't. I look at Olive with wide, stunned eyes.

"Wow. And to think you used to hate me for being a pregnant teenager that called your daughter Cookie," I remark.

"Did she just say 'pregnant teenager'???" the Guy asks, looking suspicious.

_Seriously, WHO IS THIS GUY???_

"I'm your friend now, April. Come back anytime, I love seeing you," Olive tells me warmly.

"Awww, thanks sweetie. I like seeing you too," I say.

Guy glares daggers at me. I stick out my tongue at him.

"Hey, I need a job and help to sober up, I was fired from a show. I can't do a split either, WAY too out of practice," I laugh, "So can I get a job here?"

_I can't believe I'm actually doing this. I'm actually asking my exact double to help me._

"Oh April of course you can. I mean come on, Carrie loves to see you everyday. Ned wouldn't mind I think… well that doesn't matter I can hire you if I want."

Olive grins at me.

"I have to warn you, you REALLY gotta help me sober up," I say giving her a knowing look, "Ned helped you stop cutting, I need to stop drinking. It's ruining me. Wicked fired me… AGAIN!"

"Oh dear," Olive says, "It's going to be okay I'm going to get you all sobered up in no time. First you have to give me all of the drinks you have with you right now."

"Yeah, about that… heh heh," I smile sheepishly and hand Olive a bottle of wine and pull another from an unseen bag next to me.

"Apprrriillll…" Olive gives me the death glare, "…is that ALL???"

She eyes me with my green-gray eyes. I flush and pull out another four wines from a hidden spot nobody can see.

_This feels so weird. I'm obeying my pregnant look alike._

"That is it! I swear!" I hold up my right hand.

"Okay good, April, that was the first step. Now all day you have to wash dishes. It isn't that hard, and try your best to think about the good things that will happen to you if you get sober."

"Well I bet I could hold a part. I learned every Glinda line and move then they fire me the day of my first show for being drunk. The standby got it… AGAIN! These people really like the standby. Her name's… Kristin?"

_Now what was her name??? I've never actually seen Kristin but I've heard she's good… and she looks like me. Weird._

"April you are thinking about the negative! Think positive!"

"Oh, right! I wouldn't have to work at a club," I say, trying again.

"Oh great. She's not a hooker… she's a STRIPPER!!!" Booth Guy shouts.

"Shut your gravy hole!" I retort, "I am a DANCER if you please!"

"Emerson shut your pie hole!" Olive shouts.

Ned walks into the room.

"Whoa! Whats going on!" he asks, looking at the wine. "Olive???"

_Right._

"Olive has been kind enough to give me a job," I state, "If you'll excuse me, she's trying to help me sober up," I point at the discarded wine. It's all in a heap, six bottles if it.

_Hehe, yeah._

"Right, Ned," Olive smiles at him, "April is welcome here as long as she wants."

"Ummm… yes" Ned says uncertainly.

"Oh great there IS going to be two of them!" the Guy moans.

_What is WITH his dude???_

I glare and turn to him.

"YOU! (I point at him) Just… shoo! Who are you anyway?"

"Oh April, he's Emerson, Mr. Grumpy Gills, don't mind him," Olive says.

"So… why are you here?" Emerson asks, "I thought hookers get paid well."

_Okay, now I'm getting annoyed._

"If you must know, I was fired from DANCING when I got pregnant with twins which now starve as we speak."

I'm lying. Maureen and Joanne are there. I'm a little afraid for the twins. Joanne has money to help pay for them but it's safer with Mark. He doesn't have some person with him when watching them. I'd rather not leave their lives rated R like the life I lead. Collins is okay too but he's gone again. Mimi is usually out and Roger is often with Mimi.

"Emerson! Stop giving her a hard time!" Olive scolds.

"Ummm… I'm going to check on pies and Carrie," Ned says, edging out of the room.


	2. Sister

**A crazy idea has just popped up between whatslifereally and I. Here it is in the story. How random. I'm insane, haha!  
**

**Blah blah blah I don't own April or Olive or Carrie (I think she belongs to whatslifereally or something) or anything other then Chardonnay and Sherry… and I'm not even sure about about them. Sad.**

**

* * *

**

I'm working at the Pie Hole again. I've been ignoring Emerson's whole "hooker" thing again.

_I've been putting up with his crap for long enough._

I turn to Olive.

"Ya know, I'm gettin' a strong urge to grab that wine bottle," I start, pointing at a bottle still lying around (Olive wants to see if I'll drink it)

"April!"

"And smack him with it."

_I actually don't want to drink it… I want to USE it._

_"April! This is a family eating environment!"_

_Olive gives me a look._

_Right. Hehe. Oops._

_Just then Cookie runs in._

_"Auntie April!" she calls, running to me._

_"Oh God," Emerson groans._

_"Oh yeah. Too much time with the Bohemians," I say, "Only place I've got to go. Not too many good places in Avenue A. Plus I've witnessed a gun fight while pregnant. Left me a little over reactive and occasionally neurotic. And it caused the blood problem." I turn to Cookie, "Hi Cookie!"_

I scoop her up.

"COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES!" Cookie cries happily.

Olive smiles. I raise an eyebrow.

"When did you get used to this? I thought you hated when I called her Cookie!"

"I got used to it," Olive explains, "It's all she says half the day."

I guess I have more influence than I thought.

"Oops. Hehe."

I grin apologetically.

"Yeah, the perfect influence on my kid," Olive says sarcastically though she laughs and is smiling.

"Heh heh, sorry about that, I don't think a high school dropout who's addicted to wine that got pregnant when she was drunk after working at a club would be a good example for her," I do a nervous laugh, "Let's just hope this next one doesn't follow me like Cookie does."

I indicate Olive's now pregnant self.

"This still feels backward," I smile a little, "You know, you knew me when I was pregnant and you weren't."

_We still look the same. It's crazy, we STILL are exact matches! I wonder how Ned's eventually gonna tell which of us is which. I'll probably be the one saying Cookie, haha._

"Hahaha, yeah, your right about feeling backwards," Olive says, "April just look at you, you're beautiful, smart (I give a small smile) and if you want to be, a great role model if you sobered up. And after you get sober maybe, just maybe, you could go back to school."

"Thanks, but, do you think a school would take me? A washed up teenage mother who's experienced the hardships of New York?" I ask.

Olive smiles.

"Just tell them you're Olive Snook. They would never know the difference… except (she looks down at her stomach) that, but that doesn't matter right now."

"Awww, Olive, sweetie," I say gently, "You've done so much for me but… I've never done anything for you. I feel like I owe you."

"April, you watched Carrie and you are being my best friend. That is all you needed to do."

"Really?"

"Yeah, April."

I look at my Mirror, shocked. My eyes are wide as I stare at Olive's matching ones, mouth slightly open. She's helping me so much. She's getting me to sober up, she's given me a job with $100 in advance, she tells me I can have free pie anytime. All I've done is badly influence her daughter. I feel a twang of guilt.

"Oh," I say quietly.

"Come on, April! Isn't it obvious we're best buds now?" Olive asks me, giving me a serious look.

"It is but we haven't seen each other too often and, (little grin) you've always been the other half of me… the half that gets mad."

I laugh for a minute at the thought. Young, level headed (when not drunk) me versus slightly older and sometimes hot headed Olive, version two of me. Strange.

"Okay, you're right about that (she laughs). I think it's the hormones."

I grin.

_Guess again!_

"I don't know. Remember when you left me with Cookie? You were mad at me and you left her with me and a suicide note and at the time I WAS PREGNANT!"

I still remember that well. It didn't make much sense.

"Okay, okay. I do lose my temper," Olive admitted.

I laugh again.

_See?_

"That's what exactly what I mean! I can feel sad, wild or guilty but I'm never actually mad. Just irritated. I can't actually lose my temper."

_Which is kind of unusual._

"Do you think we share happy?" Olive asks me.

"Hmmm… I don't know. I think so. You've been happy and so have I."

I shrug.

"Well that's good."

_Imagine if only one of us got happy._

We smile at each other.

"I wonder how our emotions were split like this," I say thoughtfully.

I think about this.

"Haha I'm not at all good with emotions. I need to work on that," Olive says.

_Opposites. That's what we are. Exact opposites. That are identical at the same time._

"How funny. I've always been able to handle mine! You remember."

I give her a knowing look.

_This is so funny!_

"April, we have to be related in some way!" Olive exclaims.

"We've got to! It's the only way to make sense of this!"

_If it CAN make sense._

"Now how are we gonna figure this out?" I ask my Mirror.

_Hmmm._

"My MOM!" Olive shouts, "She'll know, I know she'll know!"

"Know what?" I ask, looking at Olive, "If she had a second daughter that got lost in a small town back in Ohio that she never bothered to find? Anyway, something like that. I never did have a home in my town. Just went from foster home to foster home. Of course they were all in the same town."

"My mom never paid any attention to me neither did my father. It sounds like something she would do," Olive told me.

_Really? That's just weird._

"Wait! You're in… what? Mid twenties?" I say, furrowing my eyebrows, "I'm only eighteen. Actually, I'm turning nineteen soon."

_Crap. I'm afraid. There might be some other surprise waiting for me. Birthdays have never gone well for me lately._

"She went away for a convention one year she went away for, like, eleven months. I got more attention that eleven months she was gone by the nanny then I got from my mom in my whole life."

_I rest my case. A NANNY pays more attention then her own mother!!!_

"What's with them?" I ask, frowning, "I was an orphan and I got more attention from a family taking care of twelve kids than you did all by yourself!"

"Parties and friends were more important to them than me."

_Insane. Absolutely insane._

"You've got screwed up parents, sweetie," I say, putting a hand on her shoulder, "Worse than me, and that's saying something. You know my sad story of my sorry life. At least I actually care for my twins."

"Yeah, I know. I haven't spoken to them in years."

_Really? Who wouldn't?_

"Well that figures. Where are you from anyway?"

I actually don't know for sure.

"Callem County."

I jog my memory.

"Hmmm. Never been there. I think. Where am I anyway?"

"You're there now."

_Oops_.

"Oh. Hehe. I gotta start reading those road maps instead of just hoppin' a random bus and hoping I get where I want."

I grin and flush a little.

"Wishful thinking, haha."

"I know right?"

_I don't even know how I got here from the Big Apple. Luck, I guess. Though I don't have much._

"Yeah I'm guessing she is going to be surprised that I'm, well you know, pregnant," Olive says, both of us looking at her stomach again for a second.

"Yeah. And engaged," I add, "And found a double. That's eighteen and alcoholic. With two twins."

I laugh slightly more nervously now.

_That has to go back before they're corrupted by certain Maureen Johnson in particular._

I know that sounds mean, I love the girl (not literally) but she can be so… I don't know. Obscene. I'm not sure it's safe to leave little kids with her. She's kinda crazy. Wait, never mind. That's me.

"Yeah, I think that's a heart attack waiting to happen," Olive says, laughing.

"Food, family and fuss, oh my!"

"I know. Okay, I probably should call her now."

Olive gets a phone and starts calling her.

"I got this feeling I'm askin' for trouble."

"It is going to be fine," Olive says reassuringly, "Of only I knew her number. Well it's upstairs. I will ask Ned to go get it."

Ned walks in looking confused.

"What about me and getting something?" he asks.

"Go get my phone book," Olive told him.

"Ummm alright."

Ned runs out to get it.

"Haha. Ned. You might want to warn her about me. About my sober problem and I'm an exact version of you. Except eighteen," I tell Olive.

"Yeah, I will later,"

Ned runs in with the book.

"Here, Olive," he calls handing her the phone book.

"Ned, you didn't have to run but okay."

"Oh, Ned. You're waiting on her hand and foot," I laugh.

Nobody to help me or a job to provide for myself… and I had twice the problems. Okay, now I feel alone. The only person to help me was Maureen (didn't go well) and Mark. The others were always busy. Mimi has her dancing (and Roger), Roger has his music (and Mimi), Maureen has her performing (and Joanne) and Joanne has her law work (and Maureen) and Mark had his videos… yeah. He tried to help me mostly.

"Okay let's go."

"Thanks Ned," Olive says, kissing him quickly, "April, if I call she will lock me out. Let's just try our luck and go to her house."

"Okay. It's your fault if she has a heart attack (I laugh) She would lock you out?"

"Last time I spoke to her we where fighting. I think she still is mad," Olive explains.

"Oh. Hmmm… maybe I should go first. She'll see me and I'll know how she's gonna react," I reason.

"Good idea. Lets go."


	3. Momsie

**Clarification: April was an orphan when she went to McKinley High and before. She was one of those homeless kids that had no family or place to go. She jumped from foster home to foster home but she sometimes wondered who abandoned her. She might just find out.**

**I DON'T OWN MRS. SNOOK OR OLIVE OR APRIL OR THE BOHEMIANS!!!**

**

* * *

**

I stand at the step, pretending to be Olive.

"Well… here we are," I sigh.

I knock at the door.

"Hellooo???" I call.

"I'm going to hid over there" Olive informs me, jumping into the bushes.

"Hello?"

It's Mrs. Snook.

_Crap, now what?_

"Ummm… hi?" I say, smiling weakly.

_Should duck and run or what?_

"Nice plastic surgery, honey, but I only have one thing to say. GET OUT!!!"

And with that she slams the door in my face.

_Plastic surgery? What was that about?_

"Crap," I mutter, "OLIVE! It didn't work! She's sees the difference!"

How did she see the difference??? We look the same except I'm eighteen which nobody notices.

"Yeah I saw that coming. Maybe we should just break in," Olive says, stumbling out of the bushes and pulling branches out of her now well cut hair. I forgot to tell ya guys that her hair was pretty messy before Ned found her. Until I've seen her back on Christmas her hair was a complete mess. "Maybe we should just break in."

"Wha??? OLIVE!?!?" I stare at my match in shock.

Did she just say break in? I think she did. Oh. My. God.

"BREAK IN? Even I haven't done that!"

Olive finally reads my expression.

"Oh okay, that IS a little too drastic. Okay lets just go to the door."

"Yeah, no kiddin'. I wonder what she's gonna think when she sees two Olives."

I grin, my face full of mischief.

"I think she might know what is going on though. I mean we just might be related."

Suddenly the door flies open and there is Mrs. Snook.

"OLIVE SNOOK I CAN HEAR YOU SQUEAKY VOICE IN HERE! I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE, NOW GET…"

She stares wide eyed at us.

I grin nervously.

Squeaky voice? That's really what people think of it? I'm gonna go inhale some helium later.

"Hi. That's Olive," I point to Olive, "The one that's pregnant and got an engagement ring. You thought I was talking to myself? I'm April, by the way. I was an orphan from Ohio. You ever go there?"

I get a strong urge to laugh at Mrs. Snook's face. It's so funny! Her eyes are the size of Ned's pie pans and her mouth is dangling.

"Umm… uhhh… ummm…" Mrs. Snook stutters, "WAIT, OLIVE YOU'RE PREGNANT! MY LITTLE GIRL IS PREGNANT AND ENGAGED!?"

"Yup. You're daughter is pregnant and engaged. Time flies, doesn't it, sweetheart?" I ask, winking at her.

_This is more fun than I thought._

"Hi mom."

Olive smiles weakly and waves.

"Oh my God and you… (she turns to me) you are… the kid."

"Who, me?" I inquire sarcastically, "I'm just an orphan Olive's helpin' out. Twins, alcoholic, broke, you know."

I shrug.

"No you look just like my daughter. Let's talk about this inside. Come in, come in."

She beacons us in.

"Yeah, I sorta noticed I look like Olive. You're not the first to point it out," I tell her, walking in.

"Mmmhmm very alike," Olive says following me.

"Olive I'll explain everything if you sit down."

She sits on a couch.

"So… what s the poop?" I ask, plopping down on the couch next to Olive.

"So, ummm April is it? How old are you?" Mrs. Snook inquires.

"Eighteen," I reply, "Nineteen this April."

"Your birthday is in… April?" Mrs. Snook sobs, beginning to tear up.

I lean back a little, holding my hands up in front of me.

"WHOA!!! Um… yes?"

My voice goes up a little at the end like it was a question.

Suddenly Olive springs out of her seat.

"I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!" she shouts.

"AAAHHH!!!" I scream levitating off the couch in surprise and start waving my hands protectively in front of my face.

"I KNEW IT WHEN YOU WENT ON THAT TRIP YOU WENT TO HAVE A BABY! I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!" Olive yelled.

"AAHHH! OLIVE! EEK! You're acting more like a kid than me!" I scream over Olive's I KNEW ITs, still flailing my arms.

"Oh, sorry!" Olive says, sitting back down.

Mrs. Snook frowns and looks at the floor.

"Honestly, Olive! What are you? Six? Anyway (I turn to my Mrs. Snook) so you're my mother?"

"Hey April you know what I was never really had a childhood, all of my life was parties, fundraisers and fashion shows so don't crush my little party right now."

"OLIVE!" Mrs. Snook scolds her daughter, turning to me, "Yes honey I think I am."

"Oh yeah, true. Sorry," I say to Olive, "I'm just a little… slow, right now. I grew up an orphan so it feels pretty weird to suddenly have a family. Especially when my sister is my best friend who's helping me get sober."

_So I'm… April Snook?_

_Maybe I should leave it April Rhodes, what I was named. Might confuse someone._

_"Sober, honey?" Mrs. Snook asks me, raising an eyebrow._

_"Yeah about that mom, ummm… I'm helping April get sober so she can get her job back."_

_Well, now it's out. I've found my mother and my pathetic life story is already hangin' in the air._

_"Yeah, about that… do you want to hear my sorry story now or later?" I ask, I turn to Mrs. Snook and whisper "I recommend never! It's pretty pathetic."_

"Um, later is fine, honey," she says reassuringly.

"Um… I don't think you want to know. Uh…"

"Hey, everyone makes mistakes," Mrs. Snook says dismissively.

"Yeah, I know," I say, "But how about I dropped out of school, moved to New York, became a strip dancer, got addicted to wine, got drunk and just had twins this Christmas? How about that?"

I give her a look.

_You call that just a mistake?_

"Um, a little more than I expected, honey, but it'll get better," Mrs. Snook tries comfortingly.

"How?" I ask, "I'm broke. I'm still living in Avenue A, Alphabet City, Manhattan! I don't even live somewhere decent! All I've got is a phenomenal voice that Broadway doesn't want."

"You can live here with me!" Mrs. Snook said, "We can catch up I can watch those twins you keep mentioning and it will be fun."

_Wha?_

Olive stares at her mom in disbelief. I do too, mouth hanging open.

"Okay. What' with the change in attitude?" I ask, looking at my lookalike/sister. "Olive, I can see you didn't see this coming. Oh, um… I unintentionally named them Chardonnay and Sherry when I was on some hospital drugs or something."

"Dear, I made many mistakes in my life. I know what you're going through. And the names are beautiful."

Ho-ly crap. I NAMED THEM AFTER STINKIN' WINE WHEN I WAS HIGH!!!

"Okay, I'm out of here!" Olive states flatly.

"Olive!" I shout, "I have no idea what's goin' on! Maybe she's having a stroke or somethin'! THEY'RE NAMED AFTER WINE!!!"

"A stroke! If she was having a stroke she would be rolling on the floor or something! I'm out of here you two just have all the mother-daughter time you want! Maybe I didn't have enough mistakes for her!"

"WAIT A SEC!" I yell, "I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT'S WITH HER! YOU'RE DOIN' IT AGAIN! THIS IS WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT WITH GETTING ANGRY WHEN I CAN'T! OLIVE!"

"Oh forgot to tell you she is going a little loopy now a days so watch out," Olive warns me.

"THERE YA GO! She's acting loopy!" I say.

"Yeah we might want to leave. Bye, Mom," Olive says, kissing her forehead lightly.

"Yeah, bye, uh…"

_Momsie? Mother? Mom? I've really gotta get used to having parents. _


	4. Help

**April might go to rehab. Withdrawal is hitting her hard, but if she does what will become of her two little sweetie pies?**

**I STILL (sadly) DON'T OWN OLIVE OR RENT OR APRIL!!! WAAAHHH!!!

* * *

**

"You're lucky you didn't have to live with her," Olive tells me, Mrs. Snook still on mind.

"Yeah, I think I'll stick with the Bohemians and try to ignore all the wine and beer," I say.

I moan at the thought of all the drinks they have and drop head in my hands.

Collins keeps bringing home nice vodka, too.

"April, don't give up. I know you can do it," Olive says encouragingly, grabbing both my shoulders.

How can she just know like this? Oh right. She doesn't.

"Ugh! You won't BELIEVE the withdrawal I've gone through!" I complain, "I've been hurling as if I got pregnant again! Then I get the most splitting headaches!"

"April, maybe I should get you into rehab or something so this is easier for you," Olive suggests.

_Oh crap, a REHAB???_

Didn't she hear what happened when Mimi went to a rehab? She ran away, disappeared on us and turned up sick and almost dead! On Christmas just before the twins were born. As in minutes later I had went into

labor and I'll tell ya this, it ain't pretty.

I look back up at Olive.

"But, Olive, I have things to take care of at home when I'm not puking!"

I still can't believe I named the twins Chardonnay and Sherry. That's a WINE!!! I feel like such an idiot and I think I was high on some hospital crap.

"April, I really want to help you but I don't know how to anymore."

I probably should go to rehab. It's the best thing for my type of problem and if I keep drinking my life won't get anywhere. Just like how Olive had to learn to stop cutting herself. Otherwise she wouldn't be here now.

"I don't know either," I say, "Maybe you should watch over the twins if I go to rehab. I don't think it would go well with the Bohemians. When Mimi went to rehab she didn't have anything to leave behind. I'm leaving two babies."

_That will need a lot of TLC to not end up as screwed up as me._

_That could go badly. I don't want them to live like me, broke and forced to dance for money. Okay, fine. Strip for money._

_"Oh they will be fine I promise," Olive promises me._

_"Oh, Olive! Thank you! You're the best friend/sister anyone could have!" I exclaim hugging her._

_"Oh no problem and same to you April! I'm so glad I met you!"_

_"Really?" I ask, "You're setting such a better example for either of our kids! You didn't take the roads to nowhere. I did. You should've seen the costume men backstage at Wicked before I got pregnant! To them I'm just pretty face and a body with good measurements."_

_"April stop it!" Olive scolded me, "If you go to rehab you will become the best role model ever!"_

_How could that really be true???_

_I look at her._

_"You really think so? After all the wrong things I've done? From leaving school to the twins when I was drunk?"_

_I give her questioning look._

_I've never really done anything right, but this is the worst it's ever gotten. I'm broke, alcoholic and discriminated against. And eternally embarrassed. With twins to look after._

_"Yeah, April. Anyone can turn themselves around and become a great person," Olive says._

_Olive, that might take a while. I've got a lot of fixing up to have done._

_"Then I must have run backwards a few miles before noticing. You're the only one who's given me a chance, nobody usually does. Look at Emerson!" I give Emerson a glare, "Thank you for being that one."_

_"It wasn't hard to do, I mean you ARE my sister."_

_She laughs. I smile._

_Cookie runs in._

_"Auntie April!" she yells happily._

_I've gotta get used to saying I actually have relatives. Here's my niece._

_Cookie is my niece??? God, this is getting complicated. I remember when it was just me, Oh, the joys of simplicity._

_"That feels so weird. Saying that I have a family after so long. After always being known as April Rhodes the town orphan. Anyway, you weren't on wine or anything else. You stayed in school. YOU have a degree and I don't think I'll ever be able to say that about myself."_

_"April, look at you! Putting yourself down. Stop doing that, then things will get better!" says Olive._

_Oh so optimistic Olive. How does she do that? There's another set difference between us. I can't look on the bright side so easily._

_"Olive, I think when our emotions were split I got regret. You got optimism. Almost all I can think of is all the wrong choices I've done in my life while you think of how good things can get for me if I just get over this wine problem while I think my life has been determined. Live in Avenue A forever, doomed to dancing in a bikini for a bunch of perverts while tryin' to earn money to give my kids a good life."_

_I think I needed to even out Olive's anger problems and so I never let go of my mistakes. I seem to feel that way all the time. That probably has to do with my mistakes, though._

_I'm an idiot._

"I'm going to rehab," I announce finally.

_I need to learn to let go. And stop drinking, there's another thing to fix._

"Wha? Really?" Olive asks me.

"Yup. I need to break this before it gets any worse. Plus it sets a bad example and as you noticed… I'm pretty charismatic for children and I'm making a pretty bad role model."

I look at Cookie with a grin.

"PIE!"

_Hehe. New word. I'm not calling her pie._


	5. Rehab

**April is now at Mayfield Rehab. She's getting her help for the wine addiction and she meets a very unexpected person. House.  
**

**I DO NOT OWN HOUSE OR MAYFIELD SO DON'T SUE ME BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW JOANNE AND I CAN'T AFFORD A LAWYER!!!

* * *

**

_I hate rehab. I hate rehab! I HATE REHAB!!!_

I'm stuck here and it MAJOR SUCKS!!! I know it's supposed to be best for me to break myself but this is ridiculous. There's some guy named House here and I think I can ask Joanne about how the laws for sexual harassment work. I think he's doing it. Apparently he likes hookers and strippers.

"Ooh, a stripper!" House says, looking at me, "I didn't think they had them here!"

I give House the Snook death look.

"Shut It. I'm here to sober up so I won't be entertaining for anyone today."

I know for a fact that House was an exceptional medical doctor in the diagnostics department. At least that's what I was told. Except he's completely screwed up. And addicted to vicodin. House holds out $100.

"Oh, a bad teenager. How about I pay you?"

_Crap. He wins. _

He's got me there. I'm still broke. Like Mimi, Benny paid for my rehab work too. Olive's got Chardonnay and Sherry taken care of. I can't trust the Bohemians with kids.

"Fine," I sigh, "I hate this rehab."

Twenty minutes later House is still bugging me. I've been dancing forever but I didn't try a split.

_Stupid pregnancy side effects._

"I'M POOR OKAY!!! I shout, speed walking away, "LEAVE ME ALONE!!!"

House keeps trailing me.

"Why? You're hot," he says, looking a little too south to be seeing my face.

"Put a sock in it," I cross my arms so he'll stop staring, "You've had me dance for you for the last twenty minutes. Just pay me."

I hold out one hand, palm up, waiting for the money he owes me.

"HOUSE!!!"

A black guy comes over.

"House, what is going on?"

He gives House a look. I guess he's trouble for everyone.

"I found a stripper, how do you get them???"

He looks at the guy.

"I need help for my wine addiction and sir, this guy is making me want to go to a corner and get as drunk as possible just so I won't have to listen to his crap."

I motion to my body, emphasizing that he's staring at my curves. House whistles.

"Shut up."

They drag House off.

_Phew!_

I wonder if my split is back.

"OWWW!!!"

_Nope. Ouchie. Almost!!!_

I think I ripped my jeans.

I look down.

_Crap._

_My last pair of pants. My old ones got ruined when I was pregnant. Sorta, hehe… broke._

_"Hey, uhhh…" I call to that blond nurse._

_She looks. I point to my pants._

_"Oh, ow. Um, where's your clothes?" she asks me as I sit, still in a split._

_I think it's back._

_"This is it."_

_And… there ya go. The shock stare._

_"I'm kinda broke. Some underwear would be kinda nice."_

_There it is. The horror look._

_"You don't have any underwear???"_

_"Uh, no. I was kinda pregnant a while ago and they went through a ton of ware. Then I was caught between a gunfight and they got ruined."_

_I am laughing hysterically inside. Outside I'm hiding it and I think it looks like I'm grimacing. The look I'm getting is the funniest thing I've seen in months! Her eyes are about the size of an apple and her jaw just dropped and… well, ya get the picture._

_"Uh, oh. Wow. That's a lot. What was your reason for rehab again?"_

_"Wine. I want to be sober. Need to take care of my kids."_

_HAHAHAHAHA!!! THIS IS GREAT!!! Oops. I'm still in a split but then again, I don't think I should move. House. Still lurking._

_"S-s-s-sober?" she stutters, "K-kids?"_

_"Yeah. Don't wanna know. Trust me."_

_I wink. I think she's about to faint. She's obviously not used to my ages and problems out here. I noticed there's mostly insane people here. _

_Haha, riot! I wonder what she'd say if I mooed right now._

_I sit here in my split, waiting for a new pair of pants or something and the nurse stares at me dumbly and House watches, looking amused. Maybe this isn't so bad after all.

* * *

_

_House is seriously trying to bribe me. He's following me around with a giant bottle of wine that he says he'll give me if I help him break out._

"Please, don't torture me," I say, eyeing the wine sadly and shuffling off.

"Come on, stripper!" he encourages, holding it out.

"I'm trying to break this! I need to care for my twins!"

Can't leave then with Olive forever. They need to know me, April Rhodes, their mom. I never knew mine until now and I don't think they should live the same way.

House raises his eyebrows.

"Did you say twins? You're eighteen."

"Nineteen. Chardonnay and Sherry," I say flatly, crossing my arms.

"Wines!"

"Exactly why I want to break this! I was high on hospital meds."

I give him the death look.

"Don't blame me, I don't work in that area. Stripper!"

He holds out wine again. I sigh and look it, putting my hands on my hips.

_Ugh._

I moan and compose myself.

"Okay, I won't take the wine but you bring me with you."

_Oh, WHY must he know my weakness???_

"Deal. I want out as much as you do. So why do you want to stop drinking wine?"

He gives me a questioning look. I return it.

"Why do you want to stop on vicodin? I want to actually hold a role on Broadway. Last time I was seriously drunk I got pregnant."

I look down at my stomach, finally flat like it used to be.

"Oh so that's why you have twins. I need to stop hallucinating."

_Seriously! A doctor, hallucinating?_

I laugh at him and raise my eyebrows.

"You hallucinate? I wonder what's worse. Sleeping around or hallucinating."

On one hand, hallucinations talk to you. On the other hand, I can't afford to keep sleeping with people when I'm drunk. I can't get pregnant again. That would be kind of hazardous.

_Oh, God. I just got this horrible thought._

I'm just lucky I'm not an anorexic after how much I complained about being pregnant, especially with the basketball belly and the shirts and pants.

_Ugh._

"So what's your evil plan? To get us out I mean."

He closes his eyes and thinks.

_Now what hospital department he was in again?_

"April, distract the guards with your dancing as I sneak out and find the key then we break out."

_Hmmm._

"One thing, genius. What if a guards a woman? A straight one."

"Huh?"

I've caught Maureen watching me dance. It was kinda awkward.

I look at House. He's staring a little too far south again.

"HOUSE!!!" I yell, waving my hands in his face. "Would you stop STARING LIKE THAT??? You look like a tiger stalking some meat!"

Seriously, I think he's DROOLING! It's a bit creepy. What's with this guy?

_Pervert. _


	6. Break Out

**House and April have an evil plan to get put of the rehab. They both hate it. I don't own House or April. Wah.**

**Fun fact on me: I have a mental problem or something, if I've been writing recently I hear a narrator in my head, first person. That's why I love to write that way.  
Still don't own. Crap.

* * *

**

_What the heck did I get myself into???_

I'm about to break out of a REHAB! House has been going over the plan forever. I got some new underwear so I figure I should use it to my best advantage.

I walk into the next room where guards stood.

_Yes! Just a bunch of men!_

I'm pretty sure I can get them. I've seen them around the Club a few times…

_Oh, God._

I walk over there, wearing just my underwear and stuff and start to dance.

_I can't believe I'm doin' this._

I keep dancing and they stare.

_Yup. They're taken by me. Why is this rehab full of perverts? House, these guards, ya get it. They don't seem to care that I'm a rehab patient who just might have issues… which I DON'T! I'm just here to stop drinking!_

I keep dancing. House is sneaking around, trying to find the keys out.

_Oh, PLEASE let him find the keys!_

I'll kill him if this doesn't work! This is humiliating! I think it's worse to dance when you can see the people watching. Usually this doesn't bug me.

I keep dancing for heaven knows how long. It feels like forever.

_HOUSE YOU PERVERT!!! WHERE ARE YOU???_

Just as if to answer my thoughts, House limped over with some keys and shook them in my range of vision.

_YES!_

"Hey, shows over. Gotta go!" I call, running off.

"House!" I say, "What took ya so long??? Do you know how hard it is to keep their attention when they're not drunk?"

"I'm not a hooker so I don't know that. Come on!" House shouts as we ran down a hall to the exit.

"Aw crap! I can't just run around in just my underwear!" I cry, looking down. I am literally wearing nothing except a pair of underwear I found and a skimpy bra.

_Do they have a coat rack around here?_

I look at the door. I think we overlooked this when we planned this out.

"HOUSE!!!" I scream.

House was smirking. I think he had planned this.

_Pervert._

I see a coat rack and I snatch up the first one I see and drape it over my naked self.

"Oh come on!" House complains, "You look better than the time Cuddy accidentally wore the overly see through white shirt!"

"Shut up."

I shoot him the Snook Death Glare which is surprisingly scary for such small people.

"I'm gonna kill him," I mutter, still glaring.

_Now what? Where to go? What to do? I've really gotta work on that._


	7. Return

**Okay, so you won't see RENT much right now. I can't think of what can come next but I promise, April WILL go back to her apartment under Mimi. THERE IS MORE RENT-NESS TO COME!**

**If you think I own anything here you can leave right now. WELL FINE THEN!!! GO AHEAD AND LEAVE!!!

* * *

**

I'm so lost. What should I do next? The rehab took all my crap and I'm out of clothing. It seems we Snooks have the worst sense of luck. Olive was broke after her time as a horse jockey and I drop out of school and find myself pregnant.

"What a life!" I mutter to myself as I aimlessly trudge down a dirt road. "Stupid rehab."

As far as I know, I have two options. Go back to Olive and the Pie Hole (I think she's gonna need help soon) or continue dancing while hoping to get a role (doesn't seem to be working). I've given up on Wicked. They just can't stand me, period. Kristin gets Glinda and that's that. I'm finding a new show.

Actually, I'm going back to the Pie Hole. I feel insanely lonely when I live in Avenue A. The only one there without a partner is poor Mark and he's a bit dorky. Yeah, um… pie making it is.

One TEENY TINEY problem: I can't bake.

I'll just take care of Cookie and help Olive out.

Now how long have I been gone?

Ever since I've had a family I've been feeling my heart's gravitational pull come from a new direction. It used to be heading toward the stage but now I don't know where it's goin'. It's coming from somewhere else

now. Chardonnay and Sherry. Cookie. Olive. I don't understand it but I think I should follow it.

Now which way to Papen County?

I look around, reading some signs.

Now THIS is when a road map would he nice. Ah what the heck?

I see a random bus coming and I jump aboard.

I ride for a while and I see the pavements of Paypen County, New York. I jump off the bus and wander around until I find the giant pie crust of the Pie Hole. I stand outside for a minute, looking in the windows.

What is going on here???

There's a weird brunette girl I don't know holding MY twins, (_what the HECK is she doin' with MY KIDS???_) Olive is at sitting on her stool shooting brunette girl the Snook Death Glare, Ned is baking pie but watching uneasily and Emerson… well. He's Emerson. He doesn't care what is goin' on.

I hear the bright tinkle of the bell as the door swings open and I enter.

"APRIL!" Ned shouts, jumping and almost dropping some dough and a rolling pin, "Um…"

He looks down. I follow his gaze.

Oops. Yeah. Forgot about that.

I'm still wearing my unmentionables with a large coat over them and a pair of knee high boots.

"Oh, yeah, heh heh, sorry. Minor clothing issue."

I immediately pull the coat over my exposed skin.

Olive gives me a suspicious look.

"April, you haven't been…"

"No! I haven't!" I say quickly.

You REALLY think I've been hooking?

I look back to the brunette holding Chardonnay and Sherry.

"Hey, uh, who's this?"

"Chuck!" Ned replies a little too loudly.

"Chuck?" I ask, a look of confusion spreading across my face.

I find it a weird name.

_Seriously, WHY is she holding my kids???_

I put my hands on my hips.

"Yeah, I'll explain later," Olive tells me, "Now what's with your, um, clothes?"

_Right. I don't think they want to know House's plan. Ummm…_

"I still don't have any so they had to find me some underwear and then I ripped my pants and… yeah."

I didn't get any new ones. The rest of my stuff is at Avenue A and in this I'm sure that if I go there in this I'm definitely to get raped or something in that neighborhood. Collins was mugged.

"Wait, so YOU'RE Olive's sister?" Chuck asks, eyeing at me questioningly, clad in my strange attire.

"Yeah, April. Sorry about this," I motion toward the coat, "Rehab problems."

I don't think Chuck is having an easy time with the fact that Olive has a younger sister that was insanely young when she had her kids. Or that she worked as a dancer in a club.

_Hehe, um… life is hard?_

We Snooks have the worst luck in the history of bad luck. I'm pretty sure you've heard of Olive's.

Chuck is still looking at me with an unreadable look when Cookie comes over.

I quickly tie the coat tighter around me so not to corrupt the three year old girl and pick her up, swinging her onto one hip.

Thank goodness she's petite. A normal sized three year old would fall off or something, even with my shape. Obviously most Snooks have the small gene.

"Hey, Cookie! I'm back," I say, looking around for my special box I hid in the kitchen where I keep a stash of treats for Cookie (Ned is a purist which means nothing except pie in his kitchen. That is NOT counting the time Olive was helping me with being sober).

Now where did that box go anyway?

I carry Cookie back with me and I start rooting around for it. Ned looks at me, stunned at what I am doing until I leave, unable to find the box.

Crap. He found it.

"Well, no cookies I guess," I say to Cookie.

"COOKIE???"

She looks at me with her wide, irresistible blue eyes and gives me a begging look.

"Ned, is Cookie allowed have pie?" I ask, looking at him while slicing myself a peach wedge.

"PIE!!!" Cookie cries gleefully.

_I guess so. _


	8. Up Next: Insanity

**Turns out my teachers might be reading this and same with this collage admission guy I met after my grandpa's memorial service. I wonder if this can help me in school or a scholarship, my grandpa got his own whole scholarship fund.**

**I STILL DON'T OWN PUSHING DAISIES OR APRIL OR RENT AND I'M PROBABLY NOT GETTING A JOB IN LAW AND I'M NOT FRIENDS WITH JOANNE!**

**

* * *

**

Time flies from here on out. Another four months come and go. I'm rooming with Chuck next door to Ned and Olive. Olive is insanely pregnant now and Cookie learns two more words, _pie_ and _yummy_. I sense a tension between Olive and Chuck and I take Olive's side. She is my sister after all while I don't know Chuck at all. And Chuck's too good-ish.

"Hey, April," Olive greets me dryly as she enters the Pie Hole.

_She sounds down again. What's been with her lately?_

"Olive, sweetie, is Chuck STILL bugging you?" I ask, putting my hand on her shoulder. "Honey, YOU'RE the one with the ring, YOU'RE the one with his kid and YOU'RE the one living with him. I'm the one stuck with Chuck."

My eyes flick up to the ceiling where Chuck is a few floors above, probably coming down shortly.

Yup, I've moved into Paypen County. I now live next door to Ned and Olive but there's one catch: Chuck has to room with me. I still remember telling Benny I'm moving out.

_"Hey, Benny, I'm moving out," I stated._

_"Why? Sick of living with those slackers?"_

_**I love you too, Benny.**_

"I know, I know," Olive sighs, "I just think there's something going on between those two."

"I know. Chuck keeps talking all dreamy about Ned, the goody two shoes. Apparently they were childhood sweethearts and then they never saw each other again until now since Ned went to boarding school."

_And they kissed, but I'm never going to tell my sister that for as long as I live (and if I die I still won't tell even if I get brought back to life)._

"Ughhh. I hate that girl," Olive groaned.

_I know, sweetie. Hmmm…_

"Maybe I should lock her in my junked up apartment for a while. I wonder what would happen if Maureen and the Bohemians got near her, the goody goody."

I laugh and give Olive an evil plot face (House taught me it at rehab).

We don't exactly get along. Emerson told Chuck I was a hooker (_DANCER, you idiot!_) and she completely freaked out and then she got wind of my previous drinking habits and she went ballistic once since I'm so much younger than her and was a drunk.

"She would freak!" Olive laughs, "Ugh! Stop kicking me!"

Olive looks down at her stomach.

It's kinda creepy, she's due in about five days. I seriously had no idea when I was due and found out on Christmas because IT happened. Believe me, IT wasn't pretty.

"TRUST ME," I say, "It's worse with two. You won't believe all the crap those two put me through."

I eye the twins sitting nearby with a small smirk.

"April, I would love to stay and chat but I'm not feeling too good. I'll come down later, all right?"

"Olive, sugar, do you need anything?" I ask, feeling concerned.

"No thanks, April. I just need to go up to my room and lie down a bit, but thanks."

And with that, Olive walks out of the Pie Hole and heads up to her apartment.

I sit down on Olive's usual stool and try to ignore Chuck when she walks in. I close my eyes and think.

_She's not here. She's not here. She's not here. I am waiting to serve pies. A customer will walk through that door. Chuck is NOT right behind me._

"CHUCK! APRIL!" I hear Ned call from upstairs.

_Oh God._

"SCOOT!!!" I shout at Chuck, pushing past her and out the door when I trip on a stair and Chuck runs up ahead of me. I chase after her, worry and impatience rising.

"Move it Ned!" I hear Chuck say as I climb the last steps.

"Oh my God!" I yell.

Olive is sprawled on the floor, obviously unconscious but still alive as that I can see her breath. I've seen a friend in a similar state once and I never want to again. Especially not my extremely pregnant older sister that I just so happen to owe as big as big time gets. As in Pulled-Me-Out-Of-The-Slums-And-Gave-Me-My-Life-Back big time.

"NED!!!" I scream, "CALL NINE ONE ONE!!!"

_Oh crap, what's goin' on? What happened? WHY IS NED IN AN ADVANCED STATE OF SHOCK???_

His eyes are the size of one of Chuck's stupid Cup Pies and his mouth is hanging open. Chuck is giving Olive a medical once-over. I dash to the phone.

_Okay, April. Olive is ALIVE! Call before you pass out from clotting (yup, it's still here)._

I pound on the keys.

_Come on! Pick up!_

I tap the counter impatiently. After a minute I start knocking on it. Another thirty seconds later it's all I can do to not hit something when someone picks up.

"I'm in the apartment right above the Pie Hole. My sister collapsed, she's about nine months pregnant and I don't know what's wrong!" I shout urgently into the phone. "THEY'VE PUT ME ON HOLD!!!"

_What the heck???_

That's what they did to Collins when Mimi was found. Why do they always do that to us (Bohemians, I mean)? It's like they know who We am and that we're in the category of people they hate!

_Heartless Scrooges. Why do they run everything?_

I look around, wondering where Cookie is.

_OH GOD THE TWINS!!!_

I left them by themselves downstairs in the Pie Hole!

I finally find the common sense to dash down and get them and then rush back up and have a pill.

_No use dying at a time like this._

After what felt like HOURS apparently they heard me because an ambulance pulled up under us. Ned quickly lifts Olive (which is much easier for him to do because Mimi, though dainty, is a bit bigger) and I bolt after

him with Chuck trailing behind. Cookie has her hand in mine while Chuck (_BACK OFF!!!_) has one twin in each arm.

I practically leap into the giant box that was a car and when Chuck enters I snatch my kids back. Now Cookie is on Ned's lap and Chardonnay and Sherry on mine. For a minute I think she's dead until I get another good view and I can see her breathing.

We finally get there and I can't NOT say we couldn't get there more slowly… or maybe that was just me.

Anyway, some people suddenly rush her off to God knows where and Ned, Chuck and I are left to worry and await Olive's fate.

* * *

They gave Olive a c-section. A C-SECTION!!! As in cut her open! YES! That feels REALLY wrong to me but what do I know???

_What the heck???_

Anyway, it's a boy. He's healthy so that's good (_I have a nephew?!?!_) and Olive should recover but I still want to know one thing.  
_WHAT THE HECK WAS WRONG WITH MY SISTER???  
_Hours later I'm sitting next to Chuck in a hallway. We're all waiting outside and we kind of doze off a little. I'm leaning away from Chuck on the chair next to me one one side and the twins on the other.  
Suddenly I hear Olive scream bloody murder. It's pain, I know.  
_GOD, WHAT ARE THOSE PEOPLE DOING TO HER???_  
I've developed a new protective feeling toward Olive. I have no idea what it's about but now if she does something (like in this case, scream bloody murder) than I get an adrenaline flow that makes me feel like I have the strength to kill whoever is causing the pain.

I see Ned rush to Olive and hug her, saying something way too fast to understand. I am within earshot of the room. I see a nurse come in and readjust the IV.

"Hey what's the street name for this stuff it's… good," I hear Olive mutter and black out again.

Another few hours pass and Olive finally wakes up properly.

_Thank goodness._

"Ned?" she calls softly.

He's asleep on the next chair. Ned jolts up suddenly.

"WHO WHAT???"

"Where's the baby?" Olive asks.

"How did you know?"

"Mother's instinct."

Ah, the all-knowing mother's instinct. I myself still don't understand it but I know it exists. I get it too. Strange, yes, for a nineteen year old, ex-alcoholic, cat dancer, and Broadway washout, extremely.

"It's a boy," Ned tells my sister.

Just then Chuck walks in, Cookie on her hip.

_Aw crap. Why do you have to be so clueless?_

"Why is she holding my kid?" Olive demands, "My daughter!"

BEEP BEEP BEEP!!!

The heart thingy I used once when I got a clot spazzes out and I know Olive's pulse is rushing. I see her dig her well manicured fingernails into her hand as she clenches her fist.

I told Chuck that I should go first but she just picks up Cookie and heads in anyway leaving me with the twins sleeping on a chair next to me.

_CHUCK! Olive doesn't want ANYBODY else to be Cookie's mom! She seriously freaks! She was ready to rip me to shreds when we first met._

I gave her daughter a cookie at my place on Avenue A.

"Olive, are you okay?" Chuck asks nervously.

"Olive, are you okay?" Olive mimics, "DO I LOOK OKAY???"

"Sweetheart, maybe you should go wait with Aunt April," Chuck says, lowering Cookie to the floor.

_There we go, NOW you're doin' something right._

The three watch as Cookie wanders out the door and to me. I quickly scoop her up and plop her on my lap.

"Ned, this is between me and Chuck so you leave NOW!" Olive shouts.

"Ummm… Olive, I really don't think I should leave," Ned says uncertainly, "Can't you and Chuck settle this when you're out of the hospital?" Ned asks, "You know, Olive, we still need to feed the baby and it might need name."

I think he's trying to avoid fighting. It does need a name, though. I don't think Olive is high either so she might have her brain when she names her's.

"You know what, I'll leave," Chuck says, walking out and to who knows where.

_Good riddance._

Olive watches Chuck leave and look out her door to see me and I think that made her happy.

"I think the baby is hungry and I'm kind of tired of calling it 'the baby' so could we just name it please?" Ned asks.

Olive smiles.

_I think Ned is going to make a good dad but what do I know? I grew up on my own and my own babies aren't going to have one either so who knows. _


	9. Pie Delivery

**I'm getting too absorbed in this story. I'm half expecting to wake up in the Loft one inch shorter, blond hair and either pregnant or with twin babies nearby. It's a little creepy.**

**I don't own this so yeah shut up and stop bugging me.

* * *

**

I'm walking down Avenue A. Pie in hand I stomp up the stairs to my old apartment. It's been filled with video supplies and a projector.

_Thanks a lot, Mark._

I continue up the stairs to the next floor, Mimi's.

She's not inside but I hear music on the next level. I climb up the escape and into the Loft.

There, Mark is filming (again), Roger is on his guitar, Mimi is sitting next to him and Maureen and Joanne are pulled close together in the next seat.

"Hey guys!" I greet them.

"April! You're back!" Mimi shouts happily, giving me a hug.

_Ya know, despite the whole ugly past… I love it here._

Maureen also runs over to join us and also hugs me and Joanne joins us.

"Hey, what's been going ON? We haven't seen you in months!" she exclaims.

"Long story. Hey, I have a sister!" I say, "Remember Olive?"

"Oh yeah, the look alike girl with the little kid?" Mark asks, joining the clump.

"Yeah, her. She's my sister, her mom abandoned me when I was born so now I know why I was an orphan. From the streets."

"Wait… you were a street orphan?" Maureen asks, eyes widening.

_Oh yeah. I didn't tell her that one. _

"Oops. Right. Forgot to tell ya that, heh heh," I say uncomfortably, "Anyway, I didn't get home so fast because I went to rehab,

then I went back because she was pregnant again so I thought I should help and they gave me a job. And an apartment."

_Not goin' into the details about Chuck. _

"Brought ya pie!"

I pull out from behind me a wooden box with the Pie Hole logo, a guy eating a piece of pie, glued down to the box.

"Wow. That smells REALLY GOOD!" Maureen shouts.

"It's fresh."

I hold out the box. Roger takes it over and grabs himself a slice.

"NO WAY I CALL FIRST PIECE!!!" Maureen yells, snatching the pie wedge from him and stuffing it into her mouth. We all burst out laughing as Maureen stares at me in shock as the deliciousness of pie sinks in.

"The Piemaker helped me make this," I state.

"Wait… YOU baked this???" Maureen asks suspiciously as she takes another bite of pastry.

"Mostly," I shrug.

"YOU CAN'T COOK!!!" Maureen shrieks.

"I learned when I was away."

"BUT YOU SUCKED AT COOKING!!!"

_Behold, fellow people: Maureen Johnson. Bohemian. Best friend of mine other than Mimi Marquez and Olive Snook.  
_

Oh thanks a lot, Maureen," I say sarcastically.

"I-I mean… just bake your pies."

With that, each of the Bohemians get themselves a slice of New York's best pie. I think Mark is now cooking up a plan to document the Pie Hole.

It's been a few hours and a great time with the Bohemians, they tried to offer me some wine which I (thank goodness) refuse.

"Hey, where's Collins anyway?" I ask.

"He's out. Visiting Angel," Roger said.

"Oh."

_I should do that later. _

"So, got any new songs?"

I look at his guitar.

"Oh yeah, ever since I wrote_ Your Eyes_ I've been getting a bunch of ideas. Listen," Roger says and begins tuning up his fender guitar.

_Ooh, love it!_

"Ya know, maybe we should publish this stuff. It might be a Broadway musical later!" I exclaim.

"Yeah right, who would want to know about us?" Mark asks.

"Uh…"

_Who WOULD want to know about us? _

The people known as the Bohemians consist of a dorky filmmaker, a dancer, a once-great rock musician, a bi performer, a cross dressing drag queen (before death), a computer hacker, a lawyer and a teenage drunk.

_God, we ARE screwed up. _

"Exactly," Mark says, setting his camera down.

"Crap, um, you know, I've gotta go. I probably should get back to the pie baking and such," I tell the group, walking toward the door.

"Okay, bye April," Maureen calls, "Bring us more pie!"

I laugh at this as I leave while the others call good byes after me. I walk down the street and hop another bus, this time knowing where I'm going. I eventually get to the Pie Hole when I hear Olive's voice float out of the pie shop.

"Whatever, Ned. Just hold Nathan."

_Nathan? Must be the baby. _

Ned looks at his fiancee and walks out to the kitchen. Probably the back way. Olive looks at Chuck, fire in her eyes.

_Oh, crap. Here we go. _


	10. Torch and Flame

**This pairs with the whatslifereally story again so you might need to check it out to be COMPLETELY sure of what's going on. Might have language but this is a full blown fight between the Snooks and Chuck.  
I DON'T OWN ANY CRAP!!!

* * *

**

"Now listen to me, Chuck, and listen good," Olive says, daggers in her voice.

_Aw crap. We're starting NOW?_

I stand outside of the Pie Hole, about to go in but wanting to see what happens next.

_Ooh! Never mind! It looks like Olive is gonna kill Chuck!_

"I might be short, but I'm not weak," Olive begins, her voice getting sharper, "And the past month I had to deal with your crap!

'Oh, I don't love Ned.' Oh don't give me that! You love him I can see it in your eyes."

Seriously, do you have ANY idea of how much she thinks of him in the room we have to share??? I just want to go and vomit from how much the girl talks about Ned and the past.

_Belch!_

And then there's the matter that we don't get along. At all.

Olive looks up up at Chuck who is entirely speechless at this time. For the moment, the Pie Hole is silent, the surrounding customers staring.

"You know what Olive? You're right, I am in love with Ned!" Chuck replies, anger boiling in her tone. "I also take care of YOUR kids! EVER THINK OF THAT?"

_DON'T YOU DARE BRING COOKIE INTO THIS!!!_

"You… you… you!" Olive stammers, unsure of what to say but full of rage.

"Yeah, Olive, I take care of YOUR children! You're too busy screwing around with half-sisters and insane mothers to take care of

YOUR children! Oh and don't get me started on April, what a mess!!!" Chuck continues.

_OKAY, NOW THIS GETTING IS PERSONAL!!! SHE JUST MENTIONED ME!_

I've heard what she calls me behind her back and it's worse than most yuppie scum which is pretty surprising but very bad. "Mess" is nothing but I still want to kill her.

For the first time ever, I begin to feel pure, full blown anger flow through me. Flames, burning my entire body.

"DON'T YOU DARE BRING HER INTO THIS! AND DON'T BRING IN MY CHILDREN EITHER!" Olive yells at Chuck, fury rising ever so much more.

_THAT'S IT! I AM COMIN' IN! _

I burst into the Pie Hole and I give Chuck my worst look, suppressing the strong urge to find something hard.

"Why not, I mean come on, they're a big part of your life, RIGHT? Don't you love them?"

Chuck smiles knowing this is going to make Olive fire up.

_Great. Chuck, you just pushed the big red button, prepare to die. By me. _

"YOU SHUT UP CHARLOTTE CHARLES!" I yell, "I may be an abandoned kid, and a teenager with two babies, I may have been an alcoholic, and I MAY have been a DANCER, but I'm NOT the SLUT you think I am! I'm not the hooker that Emerson told you I was either. Oh, and for the record, I heard the whole conversation and so you know, I hated EVERY SECOND living with you, YOU playing with my twins, YOU using my things and just because YOU can't get your own STUFF!!! Just because YOU don't have an ID!!! Look who's callin' ME a mess, a girl who can't get her own things because she faked her death!"

"GET OUT OF MY LIFE! STAY AWAY FROM MY CHILDREN! AND NEVER EVER GET NEAR NED AGAIN!" Olive screams, her face now bright red and tears starting to form.

"Make me."

Chuck smirks and crosses her arms.

_I hate that girl SO MUCH!!!_

Actually, to tell the truth, when I heard I had to room with her I could just HEAR my parts of What Is This Feeling in my head, ON REPEAT!

_LOATHING_

_UNADULTERATED LOATHING_

"Alright I have had enough." Olive seems ready to kill. Just like me. "If you don't get out right now and stop ruining my life I will personally ESCORT you to the bottom of the lake so you can swim with some of my fish friends."

"Yeah right, Shorty."

_OH NO SHE DIDN'T!!!_

And with that, something snaps. For both of us. Olive punches Chuck in the face and I march over give Chuck a good slap.

_And THAT, dear, is EXACTLY what we think of you. HOPE IT HURT!_

"I'm out, and if she doesn't leave, I will," Olive says flatly and storms out the door.

You know what? I think I will kill her. Tonight. In the apartment. After I give her a piece of MY mind.

_Oh, Chuck, this is just the beginning. _


	11. Breaking Point

**I DO NOT OWN OLIVE OR APRIL SO Y'ALL WHO DO CLAIMS AND STUFF JUST SHUT IT! I STILL DON'T KNOW JOANNE AND I HAVE NO CHANCE WORKING IN LAW NO MATTER WHAT MY GRANDMA SAYS!!!

* * *

**

_That is IT!!! I am SICK and TIRED of this CRAP!_

I probably should explain this. Olive left by herself and she hasn't been seen since. Again. Just like a year ago. When she almost killed herself.

_Crap. _

So I've been manning the Pie Hole on my own because Ned seems to be going insane and Chuck is trying to take him back while dealing with Nathan, Cookie, Chardonnay and Sherry all at once.

Oh, did I mention that actually I'M taking care of the children? Yeah, Chuck claims she is but actually she's trying to win over a panic-attacked Ned and criticizing me.

"OKAY I'M GONE!!!" I yell, lobbing some of my stuff into a plastic bag.

Yup. I don't have a real bag. I am using a plastic sack from the grocery store (Ned can't spare any money for something as useless as a suitcase no matter how often I leave).

"Oh, FINALLY?" Chuck mutters, "Why didn't you leave when your sister went? What took YOU so long?"

"I was keeping an eye on YOU!" I shout, throwing some heels into the bag.

_Crap. Maybe I should separate shoes from clothing. _

My sack just ripped.

"What, so I wouldn't TAKE NED!" Chuck shoots back.

"I'm keepin' an eye on you but I have HAD IT!"

I snatch another bag from a nearby spot and repack.

I'm not exactly angry (ever since the torching of each other my anger has strangely vanished) but I can't take another minute of Chuck and Ned and pie and any of this! I'VE BEEN SERVICING THE PIE HOLE BY MYSELF! MY PIE TASTES AWFUL!

"So where can YOU go?" Chuck jeers, "You don't have a HOME!"

"Oh yes I DO!" I retort, "Avenue A, Alphabet City."

"Yeah, and DRINK yourself to death?"

"NO!"

_Actually, a bottle of wine doesn't sound too bad right now. _

**STOP IT! NO DRINKING!**

Great. I'm arguing with myself again.

I lob some more of my things into a bag and scoop it up.

_Now where did Cookie go? She is NOT staying here with Olive's worst enemy. _

"COOKIE!" I shout, "We're going!"

"Auntie April?"

Cookie comes over and looks up at me with big blue eyes.

_OH, WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO BE SO DANG CUTE???_

"Yes, we are leaving. I don't want you staying here with Chuck, even if Ned is here."

"Daddy?"

"Yes I mean him. You can't stay with Chuck. Come on. Your mom wouldn't like it if you stayed with her."

At this point I've already rounded up the twins and Nathan. Ned is in his room doing whatever people slowly going insane do. No way am I leaving them with Chuck and I don't think Ned is capable of caring for two children.

I gently take Cookie's hand and lead her down the stairs.

"April, you DO know you are taking Ned's children away from him, right?" Chuck inquires.

"Yes, Chuck, yes I do," I reply, still walking, "And AS their mother's sister I am their aunt and can legally take them without consequence."

With that, I march out of the staircase and onto the street, Cookie in one hand while carrying the twins and Nathan. It's kind of hard.

_Maybe I should have thought this through a little more carefully. This is a bit of a problem. _

I gently set down the twins when I get to a bus stop and place my foot in front of them so they wouldn't go off anywhere. I see a stroller that someone left behind.

"Cookie, don't EVER do this, okay?" I say, turning to my three year old niece.

"Yah!"

She nods and looks at me.

I slip over to the stroller and grab it and roll it back over to us.

"NEVER do that," I repeat, hoisting the twins into it.

_Still have a problem. Avenue A is a little dangerous for kids. _

I pick them up again and walk over to a pay phone. I check my pockets and I still have some change from working at the Pie Hole. Ned told me I could have half of the money I earn because I'm working on my own and the other half is needed for baking supplies and such to keep the Pie Hole open.

"SSSPPPEEEAAAKKK!!!" the message machine shouts.

"Guys! It's me, April. Look, I had to leave the Pie Hole and I've got these kids to look after and-"

"Hi, April," Mark says. He just picked up.

"Hey, I need to come back."

"Oh, sure you can. I just need to tell everyone else."

"Would you kindly take your filming junk out of my apartment room?" I ask.

"Oh, yeah. That. Sure," Mark says. I can just see him looking a little sheepish.

_Had Mark always sounded so nice?_

**No, it's just me. **

"Hey, be there in a few," I tell Mark and hang up.

"Come on, let's go."

I push the stroller away with Cookie following with the plastic bag of stuff in one of her hands.

I eventually get a bus and I pay for the trip with my remaining money and find myself at the front of Avenue A, Alphabet City.

I sigh and begin down the street to my apartment.

_Back to the Loft. _


	12. Back to Bohemia

**April has returned to the Loft and the life of a Bohemian (though this time she brought back her twins and two kids). I don't own anything except the twins!!!**

**

* * *

**

_Avenue A, Alphabet City. Home sweet home. Sort of. _

"I'm BACK!" I sing, rolling the door open.

The only one there is Mark.

_Oops. _

"Hey, April. What's with the kids?" he asks, looking at Nathan and Cookie.

_Has he always been so cute?_

"Well, as you know, two are mine and two are Olive's."

"Two? I thought she just had a daughter."

Mark looks at me.

_Goodness, I guess I didn't notice him as much before._

"Oops, yeah. Olive is engaged and just had a son. His name's Nathan."

_I guess it's because I've never been with him alone. We always have Collins, Roger, or Mimi around._

"So, umm, why are you back?"

I give him a look.

"Oh! I mean, why did you need to come back? I though you had a job and stuff over there."

He flushes a little.

"It… didn't work out."

"Right… and you brought your sister's kids?"

Oh yeah.

"She hates this one girl who was taking care of them but she trusts me."

Collins suddenly bursts in.

"April's back!" he shouts, "Hey, were you hooking again?" he jokes, seeing Nathan.

I roll my eyes and cross my arms.

"That, Collins, is my sister's kid Nathan."

"Hey, Mark, why aren't you filming this?"

Collins looks at Mark's camera, sitting on a coffee table.

"October 6th, 3 PM, eastern standard time," Mark begins, pointing his camera at me. "April came back after a horrible time away with her sister Olive Snook. April brought back her sister's kids because she didn't trust Olive's worst enemy with them. Who's that?"

"Chuck."

I get a questioning look from Mark. Eyebrows furrowed, eyes wide.

"Charlotte Charles. She's called Chuck," I sigh. "We hate her. I couldn't stand it there anymore so I left. This is the only home I've got."

I look around the familiar apartment and smile a bit. Surprisingly, I've missed the Loft.

I eventually decide that I probably should settle back into my own room and I hurry down the stairs two floors to my old room. Mark still has some filming stuff in there.

_Thanks plenty, Dearest,_ I quote from my line in Wicked. I still, surprisingly, remember all my lines as Glinda from Wicked.

I sigh and push it into a corner and rearrange the things I left behind when I left.

_Mark may be cuter now but he's just as messy with his stuff. _

I keep pushing his projector across the room (very hard to do when it's about as tall as you are) and set my cot back up. I'm leaving the second up, Cookie needs a place to sleep which I don't think will be in the Loft on a couch.

I start fixing both beds so they could actually be USED again and move some more video equipment when Mark comes down to help me.

_Why does he suddenly seem so different???_

"Hey," he says looking down.

"Hey," I reply.

_Okay, now this is just getting awkward._

I stare at him, actually into his eyes.

"So really, why did you come back?" he asks, looking up from the floor at me.

"Do you REALLY want to know? The whole long story?"

I look at him, eyes wide and questioning.

"Yes."

I stare at him, gazing into his eyes, past the slightly nerdy glasses.

_Wow. He really looks sincere._

I can feel my heart beat moving a little faster.

"Okay," I sigh, breaking our eye contact, "When I left rehab, I got a job at the Pie Hole. I thought I should watch over Olive when I noticed another girl there. They call her Chuck and my sister really hated her and so did I since I was stuck rooming with her. A few months later Olive collapsed and they did a c-section on her, hence why Nathan is here. When she came back she and Chuck finally had it out and my sister stormed out the door. Her fiancee, began going insane and I took over. Eventually I had had it with

Chuck myself and I left, bringing both Olive and my kids with me. I still don't trust Chuck."

"Whoa. That IS a story," Mark says. "But it's really kind of sad."

I look back up at him.

"Really?"

_Why haven't I ever noticed him? He's sweet too._

_

* * *

  
_One night I looked up at the beautiful stars and began to think…

_Where the HECK is my roof???_

Then again, there's a giant hole in the glass sunroof at the Loft. I think they took down the tarp again.

"Um, Mark?" I call, "Where's the roof? Did you burn it again? Yeah, I can see the beautiful stars but what if it rains? The weather might get chilly, it is October after all."

It wasn't getting cold yet, even though it was October but it would be and the weather has always been unpredictable here which

means you'll never know what's gonna come.

I'm alone again.

With Mark.

_Why has this keep happening lately? I can almost feel my body freaking out._

My heartbeat and breathing patterns feel out of whack and I think my brain isn't functioning half as fast as usual.

"Huh, what?" he asks, looking away from his camera.

I point at the roof.

"Oh, yeah. Uh, no. We didn't burn it again."

You see, a while back, Christmas 1989, the inhabitants of this apartment were sick of paying the rent and burnt some stuff and threw it over our fire escapes.

They burnt the roof.

Of course by roof, I mean glass ceiling with a hole in it. We had hung this massive tarp over it to keep out rain and such but once again it was gone so I decide to drop it.

"Forget it," I say, turning away.

Partially because I still have to make Cookie dinner and partially because I can feel my face flushing. I turn my thoughts to the task at hand.

_Now what does one feed a newborn when they are flat broke?_

I shrug this off and start heating up a pizza I stole from a grocery store. Between the leg technique, of course.

I make a quick mental note to grab some baby food or something later.

I still sense Mark looking at me and I feel heat spread across my face.

Maybe my feelings for him are stronger than I thought.

"The stars are beautiful tonight," I say, looking back out our very damaged roof.

"They are," Mark replies lamely.

I see him blush a little at our feeble attempt at small talk and I feel myself flush a little too.

_What's been with me lately??? I've really got to get over this, FAST. _


	13. Death and Confession

**Once again this tale connects to whatslifereally and her Pushing Olive. This part doesn't actually share dialogue but it has a great significance in the story being woven here. You know, now that I think of it, I have no idea how I ended up bringing Pushing Daisies into this.**

**DO NOT OWN BOHEMIANS, APRIL OR ANYTHING!!!**

**

* * *

**

Collins is about to go get us some more money (he rewired another ATM).

_Ya know what, I've been cooped up in here too long._

"Hey, can I go with?" I ask, looking (far) up at him.

"Yeah, sure. No hooking though," he jokes.

Yeah. Right. Like I ever did and I DIDN'T! It's called dancing, people!

I follow him out of the apartment. The code still is ANGEL.

We punch this in and collect a good hundred dollars. Not as good as what Angel was payed but it gets us by.

"Hey, this boy could use some stoli!" Collins states brightly, seeing an alcohol seller.

He walks over and I follow, trying to ignore the tempting look of several wine cases.

"Is there anything you want?" the dealer asks me.

"Um, no. I'm good."

Suddenly I hear a shout from a nearby alleyway.

"AHHH! SHE'S DEAD!"

I see a man run over and continue yelling.

"MY CUSTOMER IS DEAD! SOMEONE SHOT OLIVE!"

_Oh no, it can't be Olive as in MY SISTER!_

"OLIVE SNOOK???" I scream.

_She disappeared a month ago. Why would she have gone to live on the streets of Alphabet City? Right when we have our apartment on Avenue A?_

"HOW DID YOU KNOW???" I hear from across a building crowd.

_CRAP!!!_

I grab a clot pill. I've learned to carry them wherever I go. I swallow about six. I found out that four isn't enough when someone died that I know.

"On second thought, I think I'll take up your offer," I announce, handing the dealer a twenty.

He hands me four bottles of wine.

_I'm sorry Olive but I don't think I can take this._

I know, this is stupid. Olive WAS the one encouraging me to be sober and now I'm drinking upon her death but I can't handle this.

"Thanks," I say, popping one bottle open and taking a giant swig.

"Whoa, girl!" Collins exclaims, staring at the bottles I've just purchased, "I thought you were off wine. Remember what happened last time you were drunk?"

"Ugh! Don't remind me! Anyway, due to the change in news I'm back on it," I reply flatly, taking another gulp.

_Wow, the wonders this can do for someone. I'm a bit numb already._

I follow Collins back to the Loft, a little drunk.

"April! Are you drunk???" Mark almost shouts in shock.

I sort of stumble over to him and plop onto the chair next to him and take another drink from the bottle.

"Olive'sdead," I slur, conforming Mark's suspicions of my being drunk again.

_Goodness, it comes back fast. Addiction, I mean._

"April, I thought you were sober!" Mark continues, "Aren't I always the one saying we shouldn't be numb to drown pain?"

"Yeah."

I take another sip. I now have a cup to actually pour the wine into. I hate using just the bottle.

"And YOU'RE the one who usually agrees, saying we should face our pain instead of running from it, or it'll just come back!"

"You know what? Never mind," I say breezily, sipping more wine, "I can't stand to hear that Olive's dead."

"What about Chardonnay and Sherry?" Mark inquires.

_Oh yeah. I still gotta watch them._

"They'll be fine," I reply without really thinking, "They're asleep now."

"I think we should leave," Mimi says, "This looks between you and Mark."

With that, Mimi edges out of the room, motioning for Roger and Collins to follow.

And before I know it, I'm crying. I don't know what happened or anything, but one minute I'm fine and the next I'm shaking with sobs. I don't know if it's the bad news, the wine or if it's everything overwhelming me but I'm thinking it's a combination of all of the above.

"April, you really have to pull yourself together," Mark says, pulling me close on his couch.

"I know," I manage to get out between uncontrollable sobs.

After a moment I just cling to him, my small frame buried in his larger one and continue crying for the next few minutes.

My tears eventually die down and after some time, I have no idea how long. I can finally breathe. A while passes and I finally feel some words slip out of my mouth like I hoped, just not the words I expected or exactly wanted to say.

"Mark… I love you."


	14. You'll Never Know

**This chapter is actually named after a song from Kristin's CD haha. TONS OF FLUFF!!! I ORIGINALLY POSTED THIS ON VALENTINES DAY BUT IT MOVED WHEN I HAD TO SPLIT STORIES!!!**

Today's disclaimer: a song.

**AND WHEN YOU'RE LIVIN' IN AMERICA/AT THE END OF THE MILLENNIUM/YOU'RE WHAT YOU OWN!/AND I OWN/NOT A NOTION/I ESCAPE/AND APE CONTENT/I DON'T OWN EMOTION - I RENT!**

**Great. Now I'm reciting RENT in my brain again.**

**

* * *

**

Mark looks at me and stares.

"What?" he asks, looking shocked.

I am too, actually. I never thought I would say that, to Mark Cohen in particular. I know I'm beginning to harbor feelings for him, but is it actually love?

_What DID I say?_

"I-I love you," I manage to stutter.

_Did I just say it AGAIN??? God, that's some strong wine._

I stare up at Mark, my eyes large and wet. I can feel my mascara running a little but I don't care. I have just told someone I loved him.

"Do you?" Mark inquires.

_Uhhh…_

I keep staring at Mark and he returns my gaze. I suddenly notice that I'm still in his arms. My numbness clears out miraculously. My heart beat begins to flutter a little.

_Oh, God. I think I do._

"I… think so…" I say, my voice trailing off.

_Wait a second, am I NUTS??? I'm nineteen! Mark's twenty five! I have my own children (even though I never meant to in the first place)! How could this possibly EVER work? Or make sense at that?_

I decide not to think of this now and just focus on what's happening right now.

I'm in Mark's arms. I've just confessed that I love him. He seems to be in shock.

_Okay, scratch the last one but anyway, this is really important._

We keep staring into each other's eyes. Both of us seem stunned by what I've just said. We sit on this couch, me being held in his arms as we huddle close together.

Just then my memory picks back up and I remember why he had pulled me close to begin with.

"O-Olive…" I whisper, remembering my now late sister.

Another tear runs down my cheek but Mark gently brushes it away with his scarf that was still (as always) wrapped firmly around his neck.

"Hey, April!" Maureen calls, suddenly strutting into the room, "I just thought I should-"

She stops dead in her tracks and gawks at the scene in front of her.

Mark Cohen, her very own ex-boyfriend, is sitting on a couch holding me, April Rhodes, one of her best friends, and holding me close to him.

"What…" she squeaks.

"Maureen!" Mark suddenly shouts, almost jumping if it weren't for me on his lap.

"Hey, Maureen!" I say uneasily, waving shyly.

"What's going on here? Mark, April?"

Maureen is still staring in shock.

"I, um…" I begin, still not sure what to tell her.

_Well he is her EX-boyfriend._

**But what about him? Last time we checked, he still loved Maureen.**

_Yeah, but it's been about three years!_

I quickly shut my brain up and turn to look at Maureen properly.

"Uh, the wine was, um, not agreeing with me," I say lamely.

_That was pathetic._

"Oh, uh, okay," Maureen replies, still surprised at the scene in front of her, "I'll just… go."

With that, she edges back out.

"April…" Mark begins when the phone rings.

"Never a moment in peace out here," I sigh.

"SSSPPPEEEAAAKKK!" the machine shouts before beeping.

"Mark! Are you there???" a woman's voice calls into the phone. "Its mom!"

Mark and I heave a sigh.

"She never leaves me alone," he complains.

"So what's worse, no parents or annoying ones?" I ask, looking at Mark.

"What are you talking about?"

He gives me a questioning look.

_Oh yeah. Mrs. Snook. Technically._

"Hello? Town orphan! Abandoned in a small place! Just found out about having a mom a few months ago!" I remind him.

"Right," Mark says as his mother keeps rambling on in the message machine.

It eventually stops and it's quiet again. Well, as quiet as New York is, anyway. You learn to ignore the cars and such.

Mark still sits there, everything finally sinking in. We are engulfed in silence. Sort of. Not technically.

Well, he now knows my most guarded secret. One that I kept even myself unaware of, floating in my subconscious

My heartbeat is finally slowing to a normal rate, I notice as we sit together.

_Why hasn't Mark moved me off yet? Does he really not mind me on him?_

Eventually my brain begins moving again and I remember Olive.

_Why did she have to die?_

I sit there, Mark holding me close and suddenly I feel another wave of sadness pass over me and before I know it, I'm bawling my eyes out… again.

Funny I thought I had gotten all of that out of my system.

Still clutched in Mark's arms, I continue crying and I feel him tense at my sudden outburst in tears. He pulls me close again.

And he kisses me.

_OH MY GOD!!!_

First I feel complete shock. Then I sink into the kiss; taking in the whole wonderful feeling of his lips on mine. I can feel my brain practically explode as my heart does a back flip.

_I think he's returning your love._

**Shut up. I need to concentrate… on not passing out.**

Eventually we finally break apart. I stare at Mark, stunned. I probably look insane, I suddenly notice, wig my eyes enormous and my mouth hanging open like some kind of fish. Then I notice the pain in my heart has ebbed.

_He's better than wine! Than being numb!_

I think my lips are tingling.

_Is this what it feels like to have kissed the one you love?_

After a few minutes just staring at each other we pull together again and my surroundings melt away as another kiss turns into a full-fledged make out.

Suddenly I remember how Maureen had just walked in on us.

_What if Collins catches us?_

**Oh, God, he would NEVER let me live that down!**

My thoughts melt away again to Mark and my heart take control instead of my brain which might not be the smartest thing to let happen. I remember how I had been thinking of Mark so much wince I got home, and suddenly it all clicks-

I have serious issues…

And have lost all taste in men.

But I don't care anymore. I'm here, with Mark… having the best make-out fest I've had in months.

Then, the door opens.


	15. Alive

**Ya know, I just noticed that April actually never got to Broadway, just to Cleveland. Ya know what, this is more fun. Screw Cleveland. Who cares?  
**

**I don't own anything. Mark, April, Olive or Ned. Just this hilarious pairing and two of the kids here. Ya know, I don't even know how I ended up bringing Pushing Daisies into this, really.**

**

* * *

**

My thoughts are then broken by the sound of the door and I tear my attention away from Mark.

"AHHHHHHH!!!" I scream, "OLIVE! YOU'RE ALIVE! Uh... did you see us? God, that's embarrassing!"

_Why does Olive always have to do that??? Just BURST into the room like this?_

I hate when she does that.

I hurriedly shove some wine bottles under the couch Mark and I were sitting on.

_Crap. I think she caught that._

I grin at Mark.

"APRIL, WHERE ARE THE KIDS?!" she shouts, "AND GIVE ME THAT WINE YOU KNOW YOU SHOULDN'T DRINK!"

_Yeah. Ummm…_

"They're over there," I point to kitchen. "Eating. Yeah, about the wine… I heard you were dead."

Cookie keeps eating some pancakes on counter that I had made earlier. As in before I went out with Collins and then was told that my sister died. Nathan is just sitting there and the twins are sleeping downstairs.

"Carrie!" Olive calls, hugging her daughter and then her son.

I smile at seeing Olive with her kids but then remember what's going on.

"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN??? EVERY DRUG DEALER OUT HERE SAID YOU WERE DEAD!"

Olive looks at me.

"Well you just have to believe in magic sometimes," she says, pulling up her shirt.

Her stomach has a giant hole/cut in it, stitched up.

My sister had been shot.

"OH MY GOD WHAT HAPPENED?!?!" I yell, stunned.

"Oh, only a little gun shot," Olive says dismissively.

_ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? A LITTLE GUN SHOT???_

"ONLY a little gun shot???" I'm sounding almost hysterical. "Sweetheart, living here, I know about gun wounds and THAT is a fatal shot!"

I stare, wide eyed at the injury.

"Well I guess I'm super lucky," Olive says, laughing.

I give Olive a serious look.

"Luck? SERIOUSLY?"

"Okay, maybe not luck but it's hard to explain."

_What could be POSSIBLY hard to explain about surviving a fatal gun shot to the stomach???_

"Okay," I say, cooling off after the whole my-sister's-alive-but-has-survived-a-fatal-gun-wound thing, "Do I WANT to know?"

"No. You don't"

"Come on, Olive! What could be worse than the Bohemians!" I exclaim.

"HEY!" Mark yells.

"April I can't tell you here," Olive says looking at Mark, "I will tell you later."

"Come on," I beckon to follow me, to my room. Downstairs, you can tell me there, right?" I glance over at Mark, "Oh, by the way, sorry ya had to see that."

Mark goes a little red.

_Why does he have to be so cute???_

Olive ignores this.

"Sure, that would work," she says, smiling and handing Nathan to Ned. "Hold him. I'll be back."

Ned's face suddenly has a look or horror cross it.

"Olive, you can't tell anybody that!"

"It's April, for God's sake! I know you can trust her," Olive half-shouts in exasperation.

"Yes! Finally someone trusts me!" I exclaim, starting to lead Olive down to my apartment. "Come on, let's go." We get down to my room. I turn to Olive. "So, what is it?"

"All right, April this is hard to believe but you must not tell anyone and I mean anyone! But Ned is special," Olive begins.

"Special, sweetie?" I ask, giving my sister a questioning look.

"He can ummm... how can I tell you this. Well I did die April. I was dead," Olive says eventually.

_I knew it!_

"Wha? Olive! I told you that gunshot was fatal!"

"Yeah, you where right April," Olive says, "I'm sorry I had to lie about that. So back to what I was saying, ummm… well Ned, he has this gift and he can bring people back to life."

"Hummana-hummana-WHA??? Okay, I MUST be drunk! There's NO WAY that's possible!" I exclaim.

"You're not drunk," Olive tells me, "It is true. I have seen it happen myself. There is a catch though. Ummm, if a dead person stays alive for more then a minute then another person dies."

Olive weakly smiles and looks at me.

"Wait, so… who died?" I inquire, giving Olive a suspicious look.

"I'm not sure… I never thought about who died…"

Olive's face goes pale at the thought.

"Too late to think about that now. Whoever is dead is dead," I announce flatly.

"So you believe me? You believe Ned can do that?" Olive asks me.

"Well, sugar, I don't know what to believe now."

How can I believe it? How can I not? Olive is alive. She has a death shot in her stomach.

My life is getting more confusing by the second.

"Well thanks for letting me tell you that. The secret has been killing me," Olive says.

_No, really?_

"You sure I'm not drunk? You saw all those bottles back there."

I flush and look at Olive.

"Well all I know is that I'm not drunk. I don't think. Maybe I'm dead. Maybe I'm drunk. Hmmm… April! Now I'm questioning what's going on!"

_I think we've just made the situation even more complicating._

I grin and let out a small laugh.

"Come on. We should check on the MEN."

"Perfect idea. I think Ned is standing in the same spot I left him," Olive laughs.

"Ha ha I bet. I think Mark died of embarrassment. Sorry ya had to see that, us kissing I mean."

"Its fine," Olive tells me.

"Goodness! That is SO embarrassing!" I continue up the stairs and see Ned. "Look! Ned IS where we left him!"

"What about me?" Ned asks, turning around.

"Haha, just what I expected," Olive laughs.

"Mommy!" Cookie calls, running to Olive.

"You know, sometimes I think I want a family," Mark begins.

I give him weird look.

_What was that about?_

"Uh, I mean eventually, hehe."

He flushes a bit.

"Haha April, I think you have something to look forward to," Olive says, laughing.

"Yeah. Sure I do," I give Olive an irritated look. "Once I enough, thank you very much."

I look at the twins.

"You could always change your mind," Olive smiles, looking at Nathan.

Suddenly Mark goes a bright red.

"I think I should go now," he announces before dashing out the door and I hear a loud thumping as he tears down the stairs.

"Wimp," I laugh.

He keeps doing that.

"Well you better chase after the man," Olive says, "I think it's time for us to go anyway, April. Thanks for everything."

Olive gives me a hug which I gladly return.

"Of course. Mark does that a lot, run off when the moment gets awkward I mean."

"I think he really likes you, April," Olive tells me.

"Well what do you THINK that was five minutes ago???" I say sarcastically.

"Do you know you get moody when you don't have very much alcohol in your system?" Olive asks, laughing.

"Huh? Really?" I inquire.

_I wonder if Ned moved my wine…_

"Yeah you are quite moody without it in your system," Olive tells me.

"Well that's ironic, isn't it? I think it has to do with the addiction. Withdrawal I guess," I say.

"Yeah, I guess that makes sense. Oh and before I go," my sister picks up all of the bottles, "Your not going to need these."

"If you're gonna take ALL the alcohol here ya might wanna scope the kitchen," I say, pointing toward the kitchen counter covered with bottles.

"I'm going to need a bag."

"Don't bother. We're going to the Life later."

"Alright April but I will trust that you will get rid of it."

"Um, Olive? You can trust me with a secret but you can't trust me with a wine bottle." I say laughing though I can feel myself going red.

"It is called addiction for a reason," Olive says smiling.

"Oh ha-ha. Very funny Olive!" I reply sarcastically.

"Yeah I know I'm hilarious," Olive says smiling.

"Um, Olive, Carrie keeps saying she is hungry," Ned says.

"What are you talking about, Cookie? I just gave you some pancakes… yeah, they taste like cardboard," I admit with a shrug, "But

it's all we can afford. Anyway, I saw you eat it."

"Carrie say thank you to Auntie April for the pancakes and letting you stay with her," Olive instructs her daughter.

"Bye Cookie, I say hugging her, "Bye Olive, bye Ned. Olive, you might need to keep checking in on my drinking problem."

"Bye April and I will check up on you."

I laugh.

"Good idea. Bye."

"See ya," Olive says as walks out the door with Cookie Ned and Nathan, "Oh and Mark is out here."

_Mark? This'll get awkward._

Just maybe.

"Hi," he says, walking back in into the Loft.

"Hey," I say back.

"Look, just ignore what I said earlier, I wasn't thinking. I'm just stupid that way."

I've noticed that a long time ago, dearest.

"Oh whatever. That doesn't matter. Neither does the fact that Olive and Ned came in on us," I say to Mark.

"We're together now, right?"

I smile at Mark and start kissing him again. We seem to be going back to where we were before we were interrupted by my sister.


	16. Wedding Plans

**Newest piece of news: Olive's gonna get married… and April is the Maid of Honor! I am absolutely Glee-ful, literally! April is comin' back to Glee! Yay! *Screams and does happy dance***

**Still don't own this. Sadly. Oh well. A girl can dream anyway.

* * *

**Christmas has come and gone, Mark and I are a couple and the twins are one year old. Olive's wedding is drawing ever closer and one day Olive pays a visit. She's asking me to be her Maid of Honor.

"Huh? You want ME to be Maid of Honor???" I ask, stunned.

"Yeah I do. You are my only friend that is a girl and also you are my sister so I want you to do it," Olive says.

_Whoa. Okay!_

"Okay, but I don't know what I'm doin'. Maybe you should talk to Mimi," I suggest, "Or Maureen. Wait! No, bad idea. Joanne? She's all proper."

_I don't know if I should do this. I'm afraid I'll turn up drunk or something._

"April all I want you to do is be there when I get married and also I want you to help me choose a dress that is it."

"I think I can do that… I'll never be able to pay for a good dress!"

_Ah, I'm still broke! Whoops!_

"I will pay for your dress it is okay," Olive reassures me.

_Thank God._

"Thanks! Ya know, I still gotta find a job," I add thoughtfully, "So far my only option is the Cat Scratch."

"If you aren't busy we can go find a dress now" Olive offers.

"Sure, let's go!" I say, practically dragging Olive out the door.

"This is going to be great!" Olive exclaims.

"I know!"

Later we find ourselves at a dress shop. I'm dashing around looking at a bunch of options for dresses.

"Look at this!" I call, then looking at the price. "Oh, God. Never mind!"

"Oh my gosh these are expensive…" Olive adds looking at the white dresses.

"Maybe we should look somewhere else," I say reading another price.

"Yeah I think you're right."

"Alphabet City ain't gonna cut it either. Where in New York City can we find some dresses cheap???"

_Seriously, New York is definitely NOT the place for buying stuff._

"I only know one place… my mom's. Oops our moms."

"HUH???" I ask, stunned at Olive's idea, "Don't we need to get down to Callem County for that???

"She has like a billion dresses!" Olive explain.

"Ummm, Olive? We're both shorter than her. We'll also need it altered at a bunch of spots," I remind my look alike sister, motioning to our body types. Not really much like the ones our mother had.

"You're right… Well I have no idea where to find a dress."

"Well, I guess that's our last option. Let's go. Crap, who knows how she's gonna act this time!"

"I'm guessing crazy as usual."

_She's always crazy apparently._

"She better not try to get me to live with her again," I say, remembering that awkward last visit.

"Just tell her that you are living with me. You will be fine then."

"I hope," I respond, "Well, better get movin'. I'm gonna have to find someone to alter the dresses.

Minutes later we're standing at Mrs. Snook's doorstep. I have no idea how this is gonna go.

"Should I knock or should you?" Olive asks, looking at me.

"Uh, I think I got it," I reply, knocking. "Oh please don't slam on me again. Or mistake me for Olive."

"Hello… oh, hello dear!" Mrs. Snook greets us answering the door.

"Hi mom," Olive says smiling weakly.

"It's us again. Well, um… we need to… Olive? You should tell her."

"Mom we need dresses for my wedding," Olive finishes.

Yup. We're asking our completely insane mother that I don't really know a favor.

"OLIVE!" Mrs. Snook shouts, "When is your wedding! Why wasn't I invited?"

"Uh… Valentines day. We haven't gotten that far yet," I say.

"Yeah mom, you're invited. Could you please let us use a dress?" Olive asks.

"I kind of need one too. I'm too poor to pay for one! Can I use a dress?"

_What am I SAYING???_

"Oh of course come on in girls. Oh I see Olive you had the baby?"

"Uh, yeah. Sort of. (c-section. Not goin' there) Back in September. Boy, Nathan," I answer.

"Yeah, here is a picture," Olive says showing a picture.

"He is adorable dear looks like you."

"I guess he does. I hope he doesn't get his father's skittishness!" I exclaim laughing, "Ned's way too jumpy! Then again, I'm one to be saying something. Mark's pretty dorky."

I'm still laughing when I finish.

"I hope he loves the rain like I do," Olive responds, also laughing.

"Well here are the dresses," Mrs. Snook says opening an enormous closet door.

"OH MY GOD!!!" I exclaim "And Olive, I love the rain!"

Rain, one of the several things that make me happy, no drink required.

"Yeah, maybe the dresses should be blue like the rain!" Olive says thoughtfully.

"Oh, perfect!" I exclaim, pulling out a blue dress, "How about this one?"

The dress was a simple one, a deep blue with one shoulder. It went down to about our thighs.

It was rounded in the bottom and had a small cut up the side a little ways because people NEEDED to walk.

"Oh my God I love it!" Olive exclaims, looking happily at my choice in dress.

"So you approve? I think I might need this altered," I say, looking at the somewhat long, skinny dress and holding it up to my shorter, curvier frame. "Olive, you need to find one! You're the bride!"

"Yeah!" Olive replies, digging through some dresses in the over sized closet and eventually coming out with a white dress, "I think," she begins, looking at the dress.

"Ooh! Love it!" I exclaim, "Um," I turn to Mrs. Snook. "Can you alter these?"

"Of course I can, dear," Mrs. Snook replies.

"Thanks. I know all about altering. When I was Glinda before they fired me I went through tons of fittings. Actually, they kept letting it out, hehe," I blush. "I didn't know it, but I was pregnant then," I explain.

That felt so embarrassing by the eighth time they let the Popular Dress out.

"Thanks mom," Olive says hugging Mrs. Snook, "I just wanted to say, I forgive you."

"I'm afraid she'll have to measure us, waist, chest, hips and all. You won't believe the perverts at Wicked in the costume department," I add.

_I hated those guys._

"You can get measured first if you want, April," Olive offers.

"I got mine," I hand Mrs. Snook some paper. "At least, before the twins. It's almost a year now. I hope I still fit," I say blushing.

I don't know if I'm quite as trim as I was when I was seventeen.

"Oh well, I"m going to get mine done, I'll be right back," Olive replies walking back into the next room with Mrs. Snook.

"I wonder what would happen if I went back and asked for my costumes. Some of those would be great for formal stuff," I mutter to myself sitting on a couch in the living room. "I wonder if those were the right measurements. Oh well. I'll find out when Mrs. Snook finishes with the altering which I'm afraid it will need a lot of. I'm so much shorter and I don't have the same skinny figure. I'm a bit more…" I try to find the right word, "curved. That sounds so weird to say but I kept hearing those stupid costume men talking."

_I probably should stop talking to myself. _

"Olive, got your measurements?" I call.

"Yeah, sorry that took so long," Olive says wiping a tear from her eyes.

_What's that about?_

"What?" I ask, looking at Olive.

"Just talked to mom that is all. She says the dresses will be ready maybe tomorrow or the next day," Olive replies walking to the door.

"Okay… what's with the tear?" I ask.

"Forgiving is hard work," Olive replies walking out the door.

"Oh…" I say following Olive out.

* * *

Two days pass and we come back to try on our dresses. Olive looks absolutely gorgeous in her white dress. Strange enough, Olive and I have almost the exact same measurements also. Yet more ways we look the same.

"Ooooooh… crap," I mutter while sliding into my own dress.

Why does this keep happening???

I look down at my dress which (once again) is a little tight at the waist.

_What is with that? Seriously! Maybe I'm just fat._

I stare at a mirror in the next room from where Mrs. Snook and Olive are waiting to see me. I sigh and walk out.

"Oh, goodness," Mrs. Snook says upon seeing the slight dilemma that was my waistline.

"I guess Wicked's records were wrong. Ah well, those were as of two years ago and before I had twins," I say easily with a shrug. "You're just gonna have to let it out a bit. Happened all the time at Wicked, different reasons of course."

I ignore what the other possibility for the dress not fitting, pushing it to the back of my mind.

_That's not possible… is it?_


	17. Surprises

**It's Olive's wedding and it's sure to end with insanity. So ya know, I pictured April's maid of honor dress being the one Kristin Chenoweth wore at the Tinker Bell premiere since they decided it's blue while I'm letting you make up one for Olive.**

**No ownership here. Still wish I knewJoanne so I can get law help.

* * *

**

_Oh crap!_

I leap up from the couch, suddenly remembering Olive's wedding. I dash over to my apartment level and tear off the clothes I was wearing and throw on my sea blue dress I got earlier.

Then I notice that my hair looks like it's been electrified. And my heavy eye makeup is smeared.

I leap into the shower to scrub my body down and then try to brush my rats nest hair down to a normal height. It eventually goes into the right direction and I reapply some more makeup before slipping my dress before on and running out the door, only to notice that I forgot my shoes when I cut my foot on the floor.

_Aw come on!_

I run back in and scoop them up and dash off, shoving them on when I grab a ride in a bus to Papen County. I finally get to where the wedding is.

"I'M HERE!!!" I yell, running into the room Olive would be in preparing in, running past Emerson and to Olive.

"APRIL YOU SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF ME!" my sister screams.

"Sorry!" I apologize. "You look beautiful."

Olive is looking ten times better than me right now, even with that look of worry on her face. My hair is damp, my dress is off center (fixing that now) and my foot is bleeding a little.

"Okay, Emerson. I'm ready," Olive says to the best man.

The wedding eventually ends and we head to the reception in an hour. I go over to the champagne and start drinking, forgetting about my resolve to go sober. I find myself completely sloshed and I walk off.

"NOW LETS GET THE BEST MAN AND MAID OF HONOR TO DANCE WITH THE NEWLY WEDS!" the DJ yells.

I wander over and find Emerson.

"Oh, hell no! I am NOT dancing with a hooker!" Emerson yells.

_Not hooker! Dan- aw screw it._

"Shut up and dance," I retort and grab his arm.

"Whoa, whoa. NO WAY AM I DANCING WITH YOU!" Emerson says, easily pushing me away.

"Fine, I'll dance by myself," I say stubbornly and begin cat dancing.

"APRIL!!!" Olive shouts running over to me.

Emerson chuckles and walks off.

"What?" I ask, turning to my newly married sister.

"Well, two things. One, you're drinking, two, you're drunk and… okay maybe more than two things but three, YOU'RE CAT

DANCING AT MY WEDDING!" Olive screams the last one.

I look around the room to see a bunch of men staring plus Joanne and Maureen despite themselves.

"Oh," I say flatly sitting in a chair. "Oops."

_Well I'm stupid._

I look around again, people beginning to turn away again.

"I can't believe you would do this at my wedding after all I've I've done for you. Including trying to help you get sober. I see that DIDNT WORK!"

_No, not really after you DIED!_

Olive frowns and storms off. I try to follow but trip over someone's feet on the dance floor.

"Just like college," Olive says with an annoyed laugh after draining some wine.

"I wouldn't know. I've never been to college," I say, suddenly appearing behind her.

"You should go. You'd fit in real well," Olive snaps.

_Yeah, but I think you need a high school diploma for that._

"I think I ripped the dress," I say, looking at the sea blue dress.

The side cut had just ripped up to my thighs.

"It's a nice touch." Olive glares at me, "Why are you over here, can't you see I'm trying to get drunk?"

_That makes two of us._

"I needed some more wine," I shrug, grabbing another glass.

"Oh, fun. Have you seen mom? I meant to throw something at her."

"No, actually," I start walking off to an already drunk Collins. "I wonder if he's gonna streak again," I mutter.

"Hey, April, have you seen Olive?" Ned asks me minutes later.

"Oh, hi, Pie Guy," I say, "Um, over there. She was gonna chuck something at her mom."

I then see Mark and bolt off.

Ned runs all over the are trying to find Olive. I eventually go up behind him.

"She was just throwing some stuff a second ago," I inform him.

_Where DID she go?_

"I've checked everywhere, April!" Ned cries in despair.

"Uh, I saw her walk out… somewhere. Back to Alphabet City, maybe."

"Is she drunk, April?" Ned asks, "She could get hurt!"

_I'm not thinking straight._

"Uhhh… I'm drunk. Just look for another me in white," I say.

"Oh my God!" Ned yells and runs off.

"HEY! NED! WHERE'S MARK?" I yell after him, "I NEED TO FIND MY BOYFRIEND!"

"Haha, he is you boyfriend," Olive laughs.

"OLIVE!" Ned yells. "Where were you???"

"Oh, outside the yard by the pond," Olive giggles, "Mark is over there."

_Why's she giggling?_

"Thanks. Let's see how far I can get flirting when he's drunk!"

_Wait… is he drunk?_

With that I run off to Mark only to come back noticing Olive's giggling.

"WERE YOU PRETENDING TO BE ME???" I demand.

"Nooo…" my sister replies, "If you take off his glasses he can't see the difference between the colors blue and white!"

"Really? I wanna try!" I say a little loudly.

I dash over to Mark and pull of his glasses.

"April, what-?" he begins when I hold up his scarf.

"What colors are these???" I demand.

"Um… I don't know."

"MARK IS COLOR BLIND WITHOUT HIS GLASSES!!!" I shout.

"Good job, April!" Olive yells.

"Come on, April! Give me my glasses back!" Mark complains.

"PIE BOY YOU GOTTA SEE THIS!" I call.

"Little busy with something else, April!" Ned laughs.

"Come on!" I say, trying to pull Ned with no success.

"Give them back!" Mark shouts from his spot, "I need to film this!"

"April, he's busy," Olive says as Ned gently kisses her.

"Oh yeah. Mark!" I shout, dashing back to Mark, grabbing his scarf, wrenching him down and starting to make out with him as Mark's eyes dart around, unable to identify who's kissing him.

"I should get changed. I don't want to get my dress dirty," I hear Olive say to Ned after they stopped laughing.

I probably should do that too. Even if I've ripped it a bit.

"I probably gotta fix that," I say to Ned, pointing to the rip and the edging off after my sister.

"Wow, I'm surprised at how heavy that dress was" Olive says, sliding into a cute black dress.

_That other one LOOKED heavy._

"I know right?" I exclaim, sliding into the Popular dress (I took it from Wicked after they said I couldn't have my own costumes.)

"I can't believe I haven't got a headache from the wine yet."

"Oh, wait. I feel one comin' on now."

_Stupid hangovers._

I dash over to a toilet and start puking my guts out.

"Does this have to do with Mark or the wine?" I call to Olive from my stall.

"I'm pretty sure it's the wine. Unless… are you pregnant?" Olive gasps.

_Ooh, forgot about that. Crap._

"Uhhh… I don't know?" I say, my voice raising at the end like a question.

"You should stop drinking until you find that out," Olive tells me.

"Yeah, good idea." I dip my head into the toilet bowl again.

"Do you want me to tell Mark you're in here?" Olive asks.

"NO!" I practically yell, "I might freak him out. I think I should check myself first."

_He'd go nuts if we jumped to conclusions._

"Okay, okay. Um, you want me to stay here with you?" Olive tries.

"That might be good but I think Ned would notice if we didn't show up again."

"Yeah, and I have a plane to catch," Olive adds checking her watch.

"Ooh! Crap! I probably gotta get to a store, steal a test and get home to check!" I say also seeing the time

"Never steal, April," Olive tells me, rummaging through her bag and tossing me a pregnancy test.

_Well this is saving me a lot of time and work._

"Thanks," I say, crawling into a stall to use it.

_Wait, she carries pregnancy tests in her bag???_

A few minutes later I look at it and a scream escapes my mouth.

"APRIL, WHAT DID IT SAY???" Olive demands.

"Aiiiiiiiii!" I shriek, "It says… NOT AGAIN!!!"

_GOD! AGAIN???_

"Oh, God. Is Mark the father? Dear God tell me Mark is the father!!!" Olive begs.

"Yes, Mark is the father!" I snap, "I haven't been to any dance clubs lately or anything!"

I learned to stop messing around in those after Chardonnay and Sherry.

"I'm going to go get him," Olive announces.

"Yipe!" I yell, "Wha? Now? Eep! Shouldn't I take him home for this?"

"Do you want him freaking out there or here with a bunch of people to help calm him?" Olive inquires, "I mean, Ned went through almost the same thing."

_Touché._

I barf again in the toilet.

"Get off that bathroom floor, April," Olive says while trying to lead me over to some chairs.

I wobble as I stand up again. I still feel sick.

_Crap._

"I think I'm gonna need a bucket. MARK!!!" I scream.

_I need you!_

"NED! GET A BUCKET AND GET IT QUICK! MARK! WE NEED YOU!" Olive shouts.

They both hurry over, Ned with an emptied out ice bucket.

"Um…" I begin uncomfortably when I suddenly feel nauseous again, grab the bucket Ned got and promptly puke my guts out.

_Now how am I gonna spell this out?_

"April, do you need help telling him?" Olive asks, sitting next to Ned.

"I think I've got it," I say. "Mark, I took this pregnancy test, and… well… I…"

_This might be harder than I thought._

While trying to word this to my boyfriend I drop my head in the bucket and vomit again.

Olive gets up and goes over to me and sits down, handing me a towel after I've finished throwing up.

"Here," she says.

"Thanks," I reply, taking the towel. "Mark, you're going to be a father. You're gonna get what you wanted."

He said he wanted a family, just a few months ago… then he took it back when stuff got weird.

Ned looks at Olive and I with a look of complete shock.

"Congratulations…" he just barely manges to utter.

"Um, Mark?" I call uneasily.

He looks stunned.

_Oh crap. I think he's gone into shock._

"Mark, you have to say something," Olive tells him.

"Whoa! Uh, I just wasn't expecting this… now anyway," he finally says.

_Well neither did I, I guess we were both surprised._

"Well, if your girlfriend is puking her guts out she's either pregnant or has a really bad hangover," Olive laughs.

_Nice, Olive. Nice._

"I sort of thought it was the hangover."

I should clarify this. For the last few months, ever since I became maid of honor, I've been trying real hard to straighten up and stop so I've spent a lot of time throwing up between hangovers, withdrawal and apparently some of that was morning sickness.

_Crap._

"I guess you were wrong," I say.

"You guys are free to move into the apartment next to us. Chuck moved out," Ned says smiling.

"Yeah, and I could check on you, April," Olive adds grinning.

_That might make things easier._

"Thanks, I'd like that very much," I reply, managing to smile weakly and hurl.

"What about you, Mark?" Olive asks, "You could film something on the Pie Hole."

"MARK!" I yell sharply.

He's zoned out again.

"What? Oh yeah. The Pie Hole is a very unusual building and I think there's some other things to film around here," Mark says.

"So is that a yes or a no?" my sister asks him.

"I think that means yes," I clarify. "I'm moving next door. Should I tell the other Bohemians?"

_Oh, God. The Bohemians!_

"I think that's up to you too," Olive says, "Ned and I will be outside. I'm thinking we're not going to leave on our honeymoon. I'd rather stay back and make sure you're okay, April."

_That's really nice and all but…_

"Thanks, Olive," I smile weakly, "But I don't want to get in the way. I lived on my own dealing with the twins. I can handle myself.

Now where did Maureen, Mimi, Roger, Joanne and Collins go?"

"We will see you two later. In a week or so," Olive says.

"Sure, bye. I'm gonna look for the other Bohemians."

_Where are they? Right when I've got important news the vanish on me._

I look around, still carrying the bucket and I see Maureen. I go up to her.

"Hey, April!" Maureen says, "So what's up, you look… sick."

She frowns.

"Where's the others? I need them!" I ask urgently.

"Come on."

Maureen leads me to the others and takes us back to our personal table.

"I think April has something to say," Maureen announces, "Mark looks troubled also so let's see what they've got."

"I-I…" I stutter before vomiting.

Mimi grimaces but looks concerned, Collins seems to be remembering the incident with Benny's car (he's smirking) and Maureen looks stunned.

"I… well, guys… I'm pregnant," I announce to the shocked Bohemians. "Don't worry, this time I know who the father is. Mark."

I look at my boyfriend who still seems to be collecting himself.

"Wow. Mark?" Roger asks, a look of slight amusement dancing across his face.

Mark goes a little red and shrugs.

"When did you figure this out?" Mimi asks.

"'Bout five minutes ago," I answer.

"Wait… you JUST found out? WHEN???" Maureen practically screams.

I think she's a little high on something. She gets like this when she's been drinking coffee.

"So remember how I was getting drunk and then ran off with Mark's glasses?" I ask.

"Yeah."

"I went back to change and I suddenly got all hungover so I say something and Olive gives me a test from her bag."

"Olive carries pregnancy tests in her bag?" Joanne inquires.

"I guess so," I shrug. I wondered the same thing. "Guys, I'm moving out. Mark too."

"Why?" Collins asks, "I like when you two are here."

_Pft, right. He just thinks it's funny when I have to get picked up when Mark kisses me. And he still isn't letting me live down the fact that when he came around Christmas he thought I looked pretty funny before the twins were born._

"There's an apartment next door to Olive, she says she wants to make sure I'm okay and check on me."

"When are you leaving?" Roger asks Mark.

_Oh crap!_

_These two are best friends and Mark has never been the one to move out. Just Benny, Collins, Maureen and Roger._

"Ah…" Mark begins, "When ARE we going?"

"Uh… maybe a little before Olive gets back from her honeymoon. I should probably ask that."

_I don't really know._

"I need to find Olive," I announce standing up and walking off.

Apparently Olive and Ned have already left so I am here to fend for myself.


	18. Moving

**April calls Olive after bribing Emerson into giving her the number. I noticed how this story is completely taking a life of it's own so I don't care if this lands me with a whole new April than the TV one. Little bit of fluff at the end. **

**Don't own anything and yeah I wish I did.

* * *

**I find Mark. He's over with his projector, watching Today 4 U and it's where I'm puking profoundly on Benny's car.

_Thanks a lot, Dearest._

"We should get packing. I don't know when we're moving," I say to Mark.

I try to pick up a box with some filming stuff in it.

"Don't they always say you shouldn't pick up heavy stuff?" Roger asks coming in.

"Huh? Whatever. I can take care of myself," I say while dragging the projector. I already have my clothes in a bag but I'm not sure

I'll be wearing it much longer.

_Stupid… whatever. I still need underwear._

I keep moving some stuff and ignoring what Roger says while hurling my bags into a larger box for all my stuff. There isn't much really and I tossed all the wine out the door only to be picked up by some homeless dude.

Mark eventually finishes packing his numerous amount of filming objects. That takes a LOT of time. I have no idea where those are gonna go in the new place, it's not as big as the Loft (from what I saw) unless you knock down every wall of the apartment. The

Loft is only a living room-kitchen and two bedrooms but the main room is enormous. Then again, we have a whole three floors.

It takes lots of vigorous work and two days of it, but I have it! Olive and Ned's number for where they're staying in the Caribbean. I quickly punch in the number and hope for Olive.

"Hey, it's me," I say after my sister picks up.

"Hey! What's up?" Olive asks from the other end.

"When do I move in? The Bohemians helped me pack and then told me not to lift heavy stuff. What was that about?"

_I seriously didn't get it. And how did Roger know that?_

"You could get hurt and we don't want that happening," Olive says. "Move in anytime… that means now."

_I knew it._

Olive thinks ASAP means RIGHT NOW.

"Huh. Never heard of that. What else should I NOT do?" I ask.

I probably should know this stuff. Then again…

"Get stressed out," Olive replies, "Oh, by the way, don't freak when I say Ned and I are coming home."

"Well I guess I did THAT wrong. Why? Was the Caribbean THAT bad?"

I never heard the Caribbean was that crappy. I already told her I can handle myself.

"Um, we have to evacuate. Hurricane, I guess," Olive answers.

_Holy crap? HURRICANE?_

"Okay, well I probably should get moving. You're the one who said move in now. See you… when?"

_So when do they come back?_

"Let me ask Ned. One second…" I hear her say something. "He says tomorrow. We have to call

Emerson so he can pick us up at the airport."

"No, I can tell him. I just can't pick you up."

_But if he calls me hooker one more time I'll-_

**Shut up, April.**

"Thanks, April. Ned says I've gotta go, we'll talk when I get home," Olive says.

"Sure. I need to move our stuff to the new apartment anyway."

"All right Ned! Gosh can't you see that I'm talking to April! Bye April," and the line goes dead.

I go to find Mark to tell him we're going. We scoop up all our crap and leave the Loft. We start looking for a bus (we don't feel like dragging all this crap up and down stairs at a subway).

After a while a bus turns up that's going all the way to Papen County. We have to pay a good fee but Mimi gave us some tips she earned not too long ago.

The bus ride is kind of long so Mark starts filming but after a half hour of nothing to film he gives up on that and keeps looking down.

I think he's checking my stomach.

_Why did I have to tell him this? I knew he wouldn't be able to take the news well!_

After an extremely awkward bus ride to Papen County we make our way out of the bus, over to the Pie Hole and up the stairs to what used to be my and (sadly) Chuck's apartment that was next to Ned and Olive's. I dump my stuff onto the bed that was there and start shoving and moving Mark's stuff into the next room until I remember I shouldn't pick up heavy stuff. I then make Mark move it. Then I notice we only have four rooms, a living room with kitchen, the bedroom, a bathroom and then the extra room.

_Great. Now the twins have to sleep in the room Mark's filming supplies are in._

"I'll be right back. I need to call Emerson," I tell Mark who is carefully unpacking his film, one specially set aside.

_Today 4 U probably._

I hurry down the stairs and use my keys to the Pie Hole to get in. They keep a phone book of their contacts in the back kitchen. I easily find it, scoop it up and find Emerson.

"Hello?" Emerson grunts.

_Grumpy fishface._

"Emerson! You're needed tomorrow!" I state. "Ned and Olive are comin' home and we need you to pick them up."

I hear Emerson groan.

"Itty Bitty Hooker? Can't you just get out of my life?" Emerson complains, "It ruins a PI reputation to know a hooker. Pick them up yourself."

"I CAN'T!" I snap, "I don't OWN a car! I've always been too poor!"

Emerson starts laughing.

"Shut up, Codfish."

"Why me?" Emerson asks, "Why did I have to be the one to have a hooker walk into my life, never to leave?"

"Whatever. PICK UP OLIVE AND NED!!!"

With that, I slam the phone on him.

_Stupid Codfish._

I walk back up the stairs and back to the apartment.

"What was that about?" Mark asks as he puts a few rolls of film on the projector.

"Just needed to annoy the Codfish," I reply flatly while setting up a bed for the twins and putting them in.

_I think we'll need more than one eventually. I blame you Mark._

I look down at myself.

_Well, now we know why the Maid of Honor dress was a little snug._

**Shut up.**

I keep rearranging the main room and Mark is doing the film room/twins room. Thank God there's still furniture from when Chuck and I lived here.

The rest of the day passes and we're pretty much settled in what's now our new home.

Mark and I sit cuddled on a couch in the main room (there was a couch left over from when I lived here last, no idea where it came from but it matches the wallpaper). The twins are asleep in the next room, though it took a lot to make them fall asleep as they adjust to moving back and forth. I really need a permanent home.

"April, are you sure you know? About… THAT?" Mark suddenly asks, looking at me.

"Mark," I say, "When we were getting the dresses, I gave Mrs. Snook the measurements to me and the waistline was too tight. She had to let it out about six inches. Honey, I know the test was right."

Mark looks at my stomach again. A look of worry passes his face.

"Mark, it's going to be fine."

He looks back to my face.

"Will it?" he asks.

To answer that question I lean over and start kissing him.

"Oh," he mutters.


	19. Quick Comeback

**Awww, poor Mark. He's freaking out and won't eat or sleep. Poor guy needs help. Funny stuff.  
I do not own April, the Pie Holers or Mark so no suing me.

* * *

**Olive comes home today. I've been working the Pie Hole again after a morning of puking. Well, that just comes with the whole package. Mark's feeling insanely guilty and he's not sleeping. He didn't even eat yesterday. I've been trying to tell him it's okay and

I'm fine but he's still worried. I've been popping stress pills like crazy.

_I hope Olive can help fix him up again._

"Welcome back!" I greet my sister hugging her, "Then again, you were only gone for, like, four days!"

"Yeah, I missed you too April. How's Mark?" Olive asks.

"Um…" I begin, thinking, "In shock."

"Still?"

"Surprisingly, yes," I reply, "He keeps staring at my stomach. It gets kinda awkward. I think he's beginning to get used to it. Now he's just worried."

"Well I think he'll get used to it at some point," Olive says.

"He seems… scared, worried, ya know."

"Yeah, makes sense."

_I guess so._

I look over and I see Mark coming over.

"There he is now. Look at his face and you'll see what I mean."

"He looks terrible!" Olive laughs, "He looks so freaked out right now!"

"I know," I say, "He hasn't been sleeping. Then he feels bad when I start puking my guts out."

"Aww, poor guy."

"I keep telling him it's fine and everything nut he still won't sleep and actually, he didn't eat yesterday," I inform my sister.

_It's looking pretty bad._

"That's not good."

"You think you or Ned could talk to him?" I ask, "He's not listening to me."

"Yeah I will"

"Huh? Me? What?" Mark asks.

"Mark, we need to talk," Olive says leading him away.

I sneak over to listen to what Olive tells him.

"Uh, okay. About what?" Mark inquires.

"About April."

"Okay…"

"You need to stop getting all worried about her."

"I know, but she's nineteen with one year old twins, we're all broke, there's a hole in our apartment roof and the twins are sleeping in the film room," Mark says.

_True, but I can get around that. It's not too bad._

"I will get someone to fix the hole," Olive begins, "I know she is nineteen but she loves the twins with all of her heart and she is going to love the baby the same way so there is nothing to worry about."

"Are you sure? She told me what happened with you and Nathan."

"Which part?" Olive asks. "Me fainting or me running away?"

"Both, actually," Mark says, "But I meant you fainting."

"Well, Mark, you worrying is making April stress out and we don't want her dying do we?"

"No, we don't," Mark replies, "I did notice April has been taking a lot of her pills lately."

"See, she is stressed so start eating and sleeping!" Olive sighs.

"I probably should. I can't think straight anymore."

_Crap. See I knew it! Never should have told him…_

"Good boy. If you need anything ask me or Ned," Olive says.

"A sleeping pill maybe?" Mark says, "I swear I've been trying to."

"Yeah I have some in my apartment. We can go get some now if you want."

"Yeah, thanks. That might really help."

"Follow me," Olive says walking into her apartment.

I keep spying on them.

"Nathan, say dog!" Cookie demands.

_Hehe. She's so cute._

"Can Nathan speak yet?" Mark asks.

"Oh, no. They only thing he can say is mom. But Carrie demands that he say Carrie or dog."

"Either I'm away too much or I'm doing something wrong because I've never heard the twins say anything," Mark says smiling.

"Maybe you should try it sometime. It's fun," Olive smiles and hands Mark some pills.

"Well thanks anyway. Maybe I will try it."

With that, Mark started out.

"See you later, Mark!" Olive calls.

"So did it work?" I ask my sister.

"Yeah, he should be good now," Olive says.

"Thanks, I wasn't sure what to do about him. By the way, I heard the whole conversation."

"Well, that was the typically Snook thing," Olive says.

I give her a confused look.

"Huh?"

_Still don't feel like a Snook._

"To spy, listen in on conversations, those kind of things. I mean look," she point to Cookie, "Look at her. She is trying to hide from Nathan. She thinks he will talk if she isn't looking."

"Oh," I say, "Hehe. Yeah, I do that."

"So do I. It runs in the family I guess."

"Strange habits we Snooks have. It fits with the last name Snook. Should I start calling myself April Snook???"

"Not strange, mostly bad habits. But not as strange as Emerson's hobby," Olive laughs. "Whatever you want, April. I can't tell you if you should change your last name or not."

"True," I say."I snuck into his office once and and watched him knit for dive minutes while stifling laughter. Yeah, Codfish eventually caught me. It was pretty fun to see Emerson knit, he looked so funny doing it!"

_God that was funny!_

"You know what? I'm surprised that Nathan didn't come home saying 'money' or 'yarn'," Olive says.

_I don't think I'd like that._

"That would scare mes 'Money' I mean, not 'yarn'," I add.

"Thank God he didn't come home like that then."

"There's a reason I'm not letting him near Chardonnay and Sherry."

"He is really good around kids surprisingly. I have no idea why," Olive says.

It's weird. I've noticed that.

"I know, I don't get it. He is so annoying and I don't think my kids should know he calls me Itty Bitty Hooker. That might be a problem."

_Stupid PI._

"Yeah a huge problem. Hmmm I think he's hiding something and I want you to help me find out what it is."

_Yes! Something to do, and figure out what Emerson is hiding!_

"Of course! May I add that he still hates me?" I say.

"I know he isn't fond of me either."

He isn't as annoying to you though.

"At least he doesn't call you a hooker all the time. That's why I call him Codfish," I say grinning.

_It's so fun to annoy him._

"Good one!" Olive laughs when Cookie runs over.

"Auntie April!!!" she squeals.

"Well how else can I bug him?" I ask while picking up Cookie.

"He doesn't like parties or surprises," Olive says.

"Fish don't like mommy or April?" Cookie asks.

"Hmmm…" I do my mischievous grin. "Maybe I'll use one. No, Cookie. Fish doesn't like us."

"How would use use one of them?" Olive asks.

"Fish like pop-ups!" Cookie exclaims.

"Yes, Fish likes pop-ups. I'm still working on it. Maybe I should go to that one restaurant and tell them it's his birthday, they do all that crazy stuff. I'm good at that this kind of stuff, messing with people."

"I know the perfect place!" Olive exclaims, "Oh, look at the time. Better get going, April."

Olive picks Nathan up and puts him in his stroller.

"Oh, sure. Bye Olive," I say, "Oops!" I quickly put Cookie back down.

"Come on, Carrie. Let's get your shoes on," Olive says to her daughter.

"No," Cookie replies stubbornly.

"Cookie, don't start that again," I say, "You need to go with mommy."

"No. No. NO!" Cookie shouts stomping her feet.

"Carrie, stop acting up! Put your shoes on!" Olive scolds.

"Cookie, what are you doing? You're as stubborn as mommy. Or me. Or a Snook!" I exclaim.

"I want to stay here! I want to see daddy!" Cookie yells.

"Daddy is working now, Carrie."

"Cookie, you can't see daddy now," I say, "Actually, I probably should get back to him. I need to SERVE the pies!"

With that, Cookie promptly sits down and cries.

"Come on Carrie, don't cry," Olive begs, "Mommy has to go now, please can you get your shoes on so we cam go?"

"I don't think I can wait on tables and watch her. Is Emerson eating pie today?"

"I'm not sure," Olive replies, "I will take her down anyways and if he is there than she will stay with him, he isn't she is coming with me, shoes or no shoes."

"I think that works. Come on, Cookie. You might get to stay. If Fish is there."

"FISH!" Cookie yells happily and jumps up and runs to the door.

I follow the little girl down the stairs to the Pie Hole where I put my apron on and look around.

"EMERSON!" I shout, "CODFISH! WHERE ARE YA???"

"What do you want, Itty Bitty Hooker?" Emerson groans.

"Shut up Codfish," I retort, "We need ya to watch Cookie."

I scoop up Cookie and plop her in his lap.

"Carrie?" Emerson asks me.

"Thanks Emerson! Thanks April! Bye Carrie!" Olive calls as she leaves pushing Nathan in his stroller.

"Who'd ya think it would be, Codfish?" I ask him sarcastically.

"Oh just get me some pie!" Emerson snaps.

I smirk.

"Which pie, Crabbyfish?"

_Hey, new name. Crabbyfish._

"Any PIE!" Emerson shouts.

"Whatever you say, Fishface."

I walk back to the kitchen, grab a rhubarb and drop it at his table.

"Here ya go."

Emerson gives me his death look.

"You better watch what you're calling me because I have a gun," he threatens.

_So?_

"Yeah," I reply flatly, "And I lived about three years in the rough part of New York City and I may be small but don't think I didn't learn anything while living there."

"Yes, being a hooker in New York is a very hard job," Emerson says sarcastically, "The only thing you have to do is sleep with many guys and not get murdered. But if you do I get the reward."

_So who would murder me? Anyway, it's not like any hooker actually LIKES that._

"Shut up. Anyway, there's a four year old next to you."

I point to Cookie who I don't think should be hearing this.

_Crap, what if she did hear?_

"Oh, you watch out, Hooker."

"It's on Codfish," I reply, "And for the millionth time! I was at a club and I was drunk. I didn't get pregnant hooking."

_Stupid club._

"Oh how do we know if that is true? You were the only one that was there! Why should I believe you???" Emerson shouts.

"Well wouldn't I have gotten pregnant a lot sooner if I had been sleeping with tons of men rather than just this one?" I ask.

"Haven't you ever heard of protection???" he demands.

"Um…" I think really hard for a second, "No. They never mentioned it at the high school. Either that or I fell asleep in health class when they were talking about that. You'd think they'd tell the seniors that."

"Are you serious?" Emerson shouts, "Oh what the Hell!"

"Well someone in my town would keep me busy all night to sing for something so then I'd fall asleep in the most boring class the next day and it would keep going on like that," I explain.

"Why do I even try?" Emerson mutters.

"I don't know," I say, "See my point? I haven't been hooking. Oh, and my next one is Mark's."

"Your NEXT one???" Emerson demands.

_Haha nobody told him???_

"Yeah, I'm pregnant," I tell Emerson. "You'd think that Olive or Ned would tell you. I found out at the reception."

_Apparently nothing fazes him. _

Emerson gets this weird smile on his face, like he's stifling laughter.

"YOU'RE PREGNANT!!" Emerson yelles before laughing like a maniac.

"Shut up!" I snap, "Great. People are looking."

Sure enough, at least half of the surrounding customers are now staring at me.

_Crap. I'll get you for this, Codfish._

"There is a baby in there," Emerson says pointing to my stomach.

Must I also mention that it is currently just as lean as it's always been (not counting the eight inches let out on the Maid of Honor dress) and there is no visible difference?

_I'm gonna kill you later._

"Auntie April is having a baby?" Cookie asks, suddenly looking up at me.

I slap Emerson's hand away before turning to Cookie.

"Yes, Cookie," I sigh, "I guess you would find out one time or another."

"Ow!" Emerson shouts.

_Good. You deserved that._

"Will it say Carrie or dog?" Cookie asks.

"I don't know what it'll say, dear," I reply.

"But Auntie April it HAS TO say Carrie!!!" Cookie wails.

"I'm pretty sure it will learn to say Carrie, honey," I say reassuringly.

Cookie beams up at me when Emerson slides out of the booth.

"Alright, I'm out," he announces.

"Cod! Get over here! Ned and I can't watch her! I need to serve these people! Ned needs to bake! At least pay your bill!!!" I yell after him.

_Stupid Codfish._

"Alright… can I at least get the pop-up book from my car for her?" Emerson asks.

"Fine. Go ahead. Get the pop-up book."

Emerson runs out of the Pie Hole and then returns with the book.

"Here you are Carrie," he says handing her a pop-up book.

"Pop-up!" Cookie squeals excitedly.

"Good boy," I say, "Now I need you to watch her until Olive gets back."

"Where did she go anyways?" Emerson asks me.

"I don't know," I answer, "She just said she had to go out."

"This better not end in death or despair," Emerson grumbles.

"I highly doubt it," I say, "Then again, you can never tell with my sister."

"Very true, you should have been here when she was trying to stop cutting. Man she was moody and crazy."

"You should have seen her when she was helping me sober. One day she's sympathetic and the next furious at something" I say.

"Well that is Olive. And I think this kid," he points to Cookie who is giggling and playing with the pop-up book, "has most of the same stuff in her."

"I wouldn't be surprised. I wonder if mine do. I'm almost just like Olive."

"Well when they are four I guess you will find out," Emerson says.

"Hey!" I hear near me.

I look to see Olive

"Oh! Hi Olive! Emerson found out out me and… yeah."

"That's great. Thanks Emerson for watching her," Olive says.

"Does that mean I can go?" Emerson asks.

"Go ahead," I tell him, "Just pay for your pie." I turns to Olive and whisper, "I think she heard Emerson and my argument about me and being a hooker. You might want to check."

I start to slide off to another table when Olive grabs my apron and pulls me back.

"APRIL! EMERSON! WHOA! WHOA! SIT DOWN BUDDY!" Olive pushes Emerson back in the booth, "I TELL YOU GUYS TO WATCH MY

DAUGHTER THEN YOU LET HER LISTEN IN ON A HOOKER ARGUMENT!?" she shrieks.

"I said to him, Emerson! Four year old! But he keeps going on and I need to tell him that I'm not!" I explain.

"You could have walked away and ignored him!" Olive snaps.

Emerson chuckles.

_Shut up, Cod._

"Don't you think you're not in trouble either!" she shouts at Emerson.

"He was blaming that on why I got pregnant then asked me of I've heard of protection!" I protest.

"Well she hasn't!" Emerson says defensively.

"Shut UP!" Olive yells, "Urgg!"

She then storms off.

"See? Unpredictable!" I exclaim.

"I heard that!" I hear Olive yell before leaving out the back.


	20. Downhill

**A basic spell out of the Snook sisters. April = slutty and Olive = hot headed. Both have serious issues. Still hoping April becomes a regular on Glee like the roomer says. Well, if (like some) you didn't like April (well first of all, why the heck are you reading this? But anyway), DONT RAIN ON MY PARADE!**

**Don't own it. Maybe I WILL go into law. Must go think now.

* * *

**Olive has decided (yet again) to vanish into thin air. It's been about a week and Ned, as always, is freaking out (just not quite as bad, this would be the third time) and I'm practically devouring stress pills. Mark is watching me like a hawk. He's afraid I'll drink which would be really bad due to certain circumstances.

That's what I get for having the only Bohemian that isn't numb for a boyfriend. Actually, he practically preaches non-numbness.

_He's eating and sleeping anyway._

I swallow another pill for stress and clots.

_Stupid blood problem._

I run over to a table and fill a customer's coffee, drop off another pie and pick up an order.

We are searching as hard as we can for Olive, but we need to get ourselves by too. I keep looking between job hours and I send out Mark a lot. Sometimes I call the Bohemians to see if they've seen her. No sign.

"Any luck?" I ask Mark as he comes in after another few hours spent searching.

"Nope. Can't find her anywhere," he replies, hanging up his coat.

"God, Olive! Why do you have to do this to me???" I complain to no one in particular, "You're the one who said don't get stressed!"

I take another pill.

Emerson still comes around to bug me. He still looks at me and laughs hysterically.

"Come on! You're worse than Collins!" I whine.

Emerson keeps laughing.

"Codfish! Shut it!"

I have no idea what he finds so funny about me. Probably the fact that I was a "hooker" got pregnant by my own living.

He's taken up another new name for me and it's more annoying than the last two but they all include Hooker.

I stop yelling at Emerson long enough remember a place Olive's mentioned before she likes to go…

_Lauren's Lunch somethin' or other. Maybe I should try there. At least I might get an idea of where to look._

I borrow Ned's car and drive around until I find a place that seems to be it. It says Lauren's Lunch Cafe so I'm guessing this is it.

"Hi, is this Lauren?" I ask, looking around, "I'm April, Olive's sister."

"Oh my gosh," a tall blond woman says, "You're the famous April I always hear about. Yes, I'm Lauren."

"Yeah, hi," I smile weakly, "We've been meaning to come here but Olive ran off again."

"I've heard…" Lauren says, "It is terribly sad."

_Sad? It's depressing._

"God, I wish I could get some wine…" I sigh. Then I notice what I've just said. "Sorry, I'm not really thinking."

_Shut UP! Shut up, shut up!_

"That's okay, dear, everyone…" Lauren begins when Olive stumbles into the cafe, obviously drunk.

"Ohhh, helloooooo," she says.

_What the heck?_

"Oh my God! Olive!" I yell.

"You were just talking about so wine," Olive says, "Well look at me now, April! I CAN DRINK THIS!" she chugs her scotch, "YES,

April, I CANNNNN DRINK THIS AND YOUUUUU CAN'T!"

"Olive! Stop! This is torture! Please?" I beg.

_God, I WANT to drink that!!!_

I groan a little.

_Great idea, Olive. Gloat in front of the pregnant on-again/off-again alcoholic about not being able to drink and chug scotch in her face._

"Oh yeah, April, and the scars are back!" Olive shows me her arms which are covered in cuts and scars, "Isn't it just great?"

"You're cutting again? I thought you stopped cutting a long time ago!"

_As in about a year ago._

"What are you talking about, STOP?" Olive asks, "I don't even recall ever trying to stop!"

I turn to Lauren.

"Do you know where she's been? God, this is terrible! I've seen her drunk or downhill but this is worse than I've ever seen!"

_God, what happened? This isn't even like the Olive I first met, still suicidal and everything!_

"I have no idea I only see her every couple days," Lauren answers.

"Has anyone seen Emerson? I need to hug him," my sister announces.

I stare at Olive, a look of shock on my face.

_GAH!!! WHAT IS GOIN' ON HERE???_

"I- but- eek-" I stutter.

Then I scream. I just stand and scream at the top of my lungs.

What am I doing, you may ask? I have no idea.

"Calm down, April. It's okay," Lauren says.

I turn to her.

_CALM DOWN??? MY SISTER HAS BEEN MISSING FOR A WEEK AND IS FOUND DRUNK AND CUTTING!!!_

"Lauren, I knew her back when she was suicidal," I explain "She was living on the streets. We took her in for a day and she left but she was NEVER this screwed up."

"Oh my," Lauren mutters.

"Can I sleep here?" Olive asks, lying on the floor.

"No," I say grabbing Olive's clothing, "You're comin' back with me." I start trying to pull her. "Crap. They said never lift heavy stuff but I'm gonna have to." I try to pick up Olive who happens to be the same size as me. "Actually… little help?"

I look at Lauren.

_Please? I can't get her moved on my own._

"Sure," she says.

"Whoa, whoa," Olive says, "Get your hands off me!"

"Olive, you need to go home. You need Ned," I tell her.

_And Cookie might need counseling for the rest of her life._

"Olive, you REALLY need to get home," I repeat.

"April it is okay I will take care of this you should just go home at this point," Lauren says.

"Um, okay," I take a pill, "Last time Olive disappeared she almost died."

"Get out April!" Olive shouts.

"Olive please she is just trying to help you!" Lauren pleads.

"Olive, honey, what happened???" I ask.

_What happened to the Olive I knew?_

Olive stares off in the distance.

"Olive listen, you need to stop this NOW!" Lauren put her hand on Olive's shoulder. "You are killing yourself. You need to stop this. You keep doing this it is becoming a viscous cycle. You get mad about something and then you start drinking."

"Yeah, and I do that too," I admit. Yeah, I'll admit that I do the same, "I drink when I'm depressed or stressed," I shrug, "But you're hurting your daughter too, you're hurting Carrie and yes, I just called her by her real name. She's old enough to remember this, you know, and she's drifting away from you."

I say this, knowing it will get to her. It seems to have sunk in.

Olive looks at Lauren and I.

"I don't want to be like this anymore. I want to be a good person," Olive cries.

"I know dear, I know," Lauren says comfortingly.

"Come on. You helped me, now I'm gonna help you," I tell my sister, "Olive, just come home."

"I can't… I look like a druggie," Olive wails.

"Yes, you can. Remember me when I turned up?" I ask, "Drunk, eighteen, twins, and flat broke… stripping for money."

_I'm pretty sure that's worse than cutting and drunk because of the twins and stripping._

"But, Carrie, I can't let her see her mother with slits in her wrists and drunk. That isn't right," Olive adds.

"Don't worry, I'll watch her," I reassure her, "As for drunk, I used to come home drunk all the time before you helped me."

"Alright I will go," Olive finally says. "Tell Carrie I am very, very, very sorry she has to see me like this."

"Okay," I say hugging Olive, "and I forgive you for torturing me."

That hurt, you know. Teasing me that way soon after breaking myself for my next kid.

"Yeah that was bitchy, I'm sorry," Olive apologizes.

_It was._

"I know. Emerson is still calling me a hooker. Well, actually my nickname status with Emerson keeps goin' down. It went from Itty

Bitty Hooker to Hooker and it's just went down again… Pregnant Hooker. Stupid Codfish…"

_I hate him sooo much!_

"I'm going to give that man a piece of my mind!" Olive announces storming out of the cafe.

"Thank you, Olive!" I call happily, following her out.

I then remember the slits in her arms.

_Ouch. Gotta hide those._

"Take this," I hand her my coat, "Cookie shouldn't see your wrists."

They're lookin' pretty banged up, scars beginning to reform at certain spots. The sleeves should cover that. I hope.

_I'm gonna have some very disturbed children on my hands when they get older. Even the one I'm pregnant with now might have_

_a few problems._

"Thanks," Olive slips on the coat. "Now where is that stupid fish?"

That is EXACTLY what Codfish is.

We walk back down the street to the Pie Hole. As we enter Emerson sees me and starts laughing again.

"A pregnant hooker!" he shouts and laughs more while pointing at my stomach. Again.

I just cross my arms and roll my eyes.

_Shut it, Fishface._

"EMERSON!!!" Olive yells, "I'm gonna kick your… oh, sorry, didn't see that there were still customers in here."

There were. And they were looking at us.

_We are quite the scene._

My eyes go wide as I remember my work.

"Crap! I still have to work!" I shout while throwing on my apron and starting to make rounds around the pie shop.

"I will talk to him," Olive tells me as I pass her.

"Thanks, maybe get him to quit calling me hooker?" I ask hopefully, "He calls me Itty Bitty Hooker, Hooker and you heard the last."

I keep going around the Pie Hole and I see Olive talking to Emerson. I come back after a few minutes.

"Sorry, April," Emerson says.

Oh my God! He's apologizing??? Emerson Cod(fish) NEVER apologizes!

"I won't call you a hooker anymore," Emerson continues with a frown.

_Success!_

"Finally!" I shout, "And I'm tellin' ya, I was never hooking."

Then Cookie runs over.

"Daddy! Mommy is back!" she yells happily running to Olive.

"No, no, no…" my sister moans, "She can't see me like this."

"It's fine!" I whisper to her, "Pull your sleeves up!" I turn to the little girl and pick her up, "Cookie, don't you want to get mommy a pie?"

"Yes!" Cookie exclaims, "Did you know that Nathan can say pie, Auntie April?"

_Huh? Since when?_

"He can?" I ask, "When did he start saying pie?"

"He said it yesterday! He said mommy and pie!"

_He's doin' a lot of talking… have Chardonnay and Sherry ever said ANYTHING???_

I look at Olive.

"Olive, he's learning fast. Am I doin' somethin' wrong? The twins never say a word."

_Ever. It doesn't seem right._

"Ask Ned, he has been doing the teaching," Olive says.

Ned runs over and hugs her.

"Oh my gosh you're home!" he exclaims

"Ned, I think I'm doin' something wrong. My twins won't speak!" I give Ned my worried look, "Ned, they're one while Nathan is… I don't know. Younger. A lot younger."

It seems a little weird that a six month (?) old is speaking more than two one year olds.

"Olive, I was so worried! Um… April, I could try to teach them to talk. I have no idea how I made Nathan talk though."

I laugh.

"Okay, but you might have better luck than me," I reply.

"I think I need some sleep," my sister announces with a yawn.

_Oops. Right._

"Go ahead and sleep, I'll watch Cookie," I tell her.

"April, you have done enough for me today, it looks like her nap time anyways. I will take care of her. Thanks anyways."

"Olive," I say, "I can't do enough for you after how much you helped me."

It's true. She's helped me a lot more than I've helped her. For the most part, I've just driven her nuts and back to her own alcohol and cutting.

"What did I do so amazing that you have to repay me all the time?" Olive asks laughing.

"Olive, I have a ROOF!!!" I exclaim, throwing my hand up.

Yeah, I know that sounds stupid but it's true. I've never had a real roof before this time. And yes I DO know I sound like some poor southern girl or something.

"It was nothing, April, you don't have to repay me for it." Olive turns to my niece. "Carrie, honey, do you want to go upstairs with mommy?"

I turn to her.

_No, you don't get it!_

"That's not the point!" I snap, she doesn't get it. "My last home had a hole in the little roof it had and before that I didn't have a home, I was just hopping from one place to the next. Anyway, I may not be sober yet, I drink when stressed, but I'm really breaking habits. I'm getting closer."

"Alright, April…" Olive rubs her eyes when her sleeve slides down a little. "Crap."

She quickly pulled it back up, but not before Ned saw.

"Olive, did I just see what I thought I saw?" he asks, horrified.

_Shoot. He saw._

"Sadly, yes," I answer, "Don't tell Cookie, okay? She shouldn't know what Olive's been doing."

"But… but… but…" Ned stutters.

"Mommy here's your pie!" my niece says, holding out a sloppily cut pie.

"Aw, thank you dear. Do you want to go home with mommy?" my sister asks.

"Yes!"

I put my hand on Ned's shoulder.

"Later, dear," I tell him.

Olive picks up Cookie.

"Could you explain it to him, April, when I leave?"

"Mommy look tired!!!" Cookie announces.

"Sure thing, sweetie," I say with a smile.

"Thanks," Olive says as she walks out of the Pie Hole with Cookie.

"So Ned, you were wondering about the cuts?" I ask, looking at him.

"Um… yes," Ned replies.

"Are you sure?" I press.

"No…"

"I'm gonna tell ya anyway. You might wanna sit down." I lead him to a booth and plop him down. "Ned, when I found Olive…honey, she was drunk," I state sadly.

"What?" Ned asks, horrified.

"Yes, she was drunk. She was actually gloating in my face that she can drink while I can't. Then she was really drunk, I think it wore off. Anyway, she showed me the cuts on her arms. They were covered in scars that came back. After more cutting."

Ned stares at me, speechless.

"Ned, sugar, I asked you if you really wanted to know," I say gently, taking his hand in mine.

"Um…"

"Never mind, but you might want to talk to Olive yourself later," I tell him.

"Yes…" he replies.


	21. You Again

**Haha more weirdness. Dr. Last Name returns!**

**I own Dr. Last Name who will (sadly) reappear a few more time due to the misfortune that she's stuck with him doing her checkups. What luck!**

**Well, on with story!**

**

* * *

**

More time passes and it's the usual routine every day.

3:15- Wake up and puke my guts out while Mark

4:25- Slip into something to find it's too tight

4:30- Dig through my drawers trying to find something that I can fit into

4:45- eat an insanely fast breakfast and hope I can keep it down

5:00- Manage waiting tables while watching two small twin children. (Not exactly a piece of cake. Or pie, in this case)

9:45- Close up shop then eat with

10:00- argue with Olive over something stupid and then eat dinner (hoping to not regurgitate it later)

11:00- puke more then make Mark stop worrying again.

It's been about a month I'm having clothing problems. I can still find a few shirts but I'll need some pants soon. Emerson finally stopped the hooker thing but he still laughs at the sight of me, especially now that my pants (or skirts) are too tight. Olive has helpfully pointed out that that also makes me moody.

Olive decides that I should go to a doctor. She's drives me down and I feel creeped out. Once we get there I'm called to "Dr. Zimmerman".

I walk in feeling squeamish, but that might just be me needing to vomit again. I keep looking at the floor.

"You?" he asks, a confused tone in his voice.

I look up at him.

_You again!_

The situation has been changed from uncomfortable to horrifying.

"Yeah. Me. Let's get this over with," I say coldly, glaring into the face of Dr. Last Name.

_I guess I know his last name._

This immediately clicks in Olive's mind and she's fuming.

"HOW DARE YOU GET MY SISTER PREGNANT THEN LEAVE HER BROKE!!!" she screams.

_Oh… crap. Olive is such a hothead._

"Wait, who are you?" Zimmerman (Last Name) asks.

"I'm April's sister… half sister. But that doesn't matter you idiot!" Olive snaps.

_This ain't gonna be pretty._

"Olive, cool it! You're overreacting again," I warn her.

"Oh, sorry," she says. "But watch it, buddy, I'm a trained killer."

"Trained killer?" I ask, "Since when?"

"I have been a trained killer since I met this idiot," my sister responds, pointing to Dr. Last Name.

"Olive, you've never met him before. And we were drunk. And I've never heard of protection."

I blush.

_Okay, I admit it. I'm a slut. Jeez, I wish I didn't fall asleep in health!_

"Okay… I have no idea what to say on that."

_I don't either._

I quickly change the subject.

"What do they do? I've never gone to a doctor before."

I give Olive a creeped out look.

Well, maybe once if you count my little clot mishap but I believe that was the emergency room.

_Yeah, I know. I'm stupid._

"They just put some cold stuff on your stomach and then they do an ultrasound. It isn't that hard to do."

_Oh. But Dr. Last Name is doing it! I think._

"Uh…" I look at Dr. Zimmerman, "Are you doin' this?"

_This is reeeally uncomfortable because of certain circumstances. Like Chardonnay and Sherry. Yes, I know, it's been over a year but still…_

"If he is I'm going there with you," Olive announces.

"Olive, I really don't don't think doctors go around and rape pregnant patients," I say flatly.

_If that's what she's thinking anyway._

"April, you never know, I mean I never would have guessed that one of my first high school boyfriends was going to turn out to be a killer," Olive replies.

"SHWHA?" I ask, horrified, "KILLER?"

"It's a long storey that was a long time ago. It doesn't matter anyways."

"Okay," I say, "But I'm askin' about it later."

I try to get through the next part as fast as I possibly could, you would find it awkward too to be getting checked the man you met one night and got pregnant by who is now examining you while pregnant with your current boyfriend's baby.

The whole ordeal is eventually over and I have to wash all this crap off.

_Stupid paste._

I quickly rush out after finally getting it all off. I want to get away from that guy as soon as possible. Olive's definition of that means now which would be nice.

I thought he was out of my life but NOOO. He has to show up and give me my ultrasound too, for the kid that isn't even his no less!

"Come on," I say quickly as I hop into the car, "Let's get going."

I'm still a bit freaked out by the fact that some guy I met in a club is a doctor that will give me checkups.


	22. Pink Goes Good with Green

**Readers, I know you're out there. I've got six hundred hits and about twenty a day, so… A REVIEW WOULD BE NICE!!! Seriously, I really want some feedback! I want to know your opinions! Well anyway, onward with the tale!**

**I do not own anything in this chapter.

* * *

**

Olive and I search for baby clothes. I can't decide between the blue and the pink.

I think for a while.

"The blue one," I decide finally.

"No the PINK!" my sister protests, "PINK IS TOTALLY BETTER!"

_Here we go. Another argument._

"Come on, look, the blue one!"

I show her the blue I'm looking at.

"But April, the pink will match the baby's eyes!" Olive says, "I don't mean it will have pink eye but the colors pink and green work!"

I go over the thought.

"Pink DOES go good with green," I say finally. "Do you think it'll have green eyes too? Mark's are blue."

"I never when to art school so how should I know if green and gray make pink. What if the baby gets green eyes from our mom? Those kind of things can skip a generation, but what do I know I never went to DNA school," Olive rambles.

"I didn't stay in school but I don't think there is a DNA school but maybe it gets Mark's blue eyes! We're both blond."

_I have no idea how determine the apearence._

"Whatever pink is still better," Olive states, "If you choose blue it will take the glow out of its eyes."

"Well I can't pay for both," I say, "Mark?"

Mark is following me around. He still can't get over some precautions (no idea what).

"Uhhh… we should ask Mimi," Mark says.

_Mimi DID always have good taste on clothes._

"Just give me them," Olive takes them out of my hands, "I will pay for it."

I stare at my sister.

"Wha? Sweetie, you can't keep just buying me stuff!" I protest.

_She keeps doing that! Why???_

"Yes I can!" Olive pays the cashier, "Haha already did, can't do anything about it."

She smirks at me.

"Okay, technically you can," I admit, "It makes me feel bad when you spend money on me."

_A LOT of money._

"April it is fine don't worry about it," she hands me the bag, "There are your baby clothes."

"Thanks. So what should we argue about now?" I say sarcastically.

"Well I think you should tell mom about the baby…" Olive begins.

"You think I should tell our mom?" I ask, "Our MENTALLY INSANE mother about my baby?"

"I think having four grandkids is some kind of dream for the old hag," Olive says, "I think we should make it come true before she dies… whenever that is."

_True. Wait, four?_

"She DOES have four grandchildren. This is her fifth," I say looking at my stomach.

It's gotten bigger.

"Oh whatever, I keep losing track. Carrie and Nathan have never met her before, neither have the twins. It will be fun!"

"Who are you and what have you done with Olive Snook?" I demand with a smirk.

"I left her at home," Olive laughs, "Come on April, please… if you do we can go buy new clothes for you!"

I look back down. My clothes is pretty uncomfortable. Way too tight.

"Crap. I really don't fit in anything," I sigh.

"I got you on that one," Olive gloats.

_Shoot. She does._

"Yeah… fine. Let's go," I say.

Olive takes us back to the Pie Hole and picks up Ned, Nathan, Cookie and the twins and we go to Mrs. Snook's.

"Alright… um, I guess I'll knock," Olive says.

Olive knocks and our mother answers.

"Ohhh, hello dear!" Mrs. Snook greets us, "And April oh, you are here too with the twins and, oh my, the whole group is here!"

"Heh heh, yup," I say, "You can't see Mark, I think he's filming again."

I look over and there he is, filming the house.

"Come on in and stay for a while," she beckons us in, "I haven't had company in the longest time."

"Thanks, mom. Come on Carrie," Olive says.

"Um, I have some news," I say.

"Awww look at these cuties," she pinches the twins cheeks. "What dear? My hearing is going bad."

"Um…" I turn to Olive. "How am I gonna say this?"

"Mom, April is pregnant," Olive announces.

"Oh look at this adorable little boy… Nathan right? Oh he looks like his father," she looks at Mark and then Ned, "Which one of you is the father? Oh what, Olive dear?"

"MOM. APRIL… IS… PREGNANT… DO YOU HEAR ME!" Olive yells at Mrs. Snook, stopping between each word.

_How hard of hearing is the old crow?_

"Let me try this," I say, turning to our supposed mother, "I… AM… PREGNANT!!! MARK IS THE FATHER!"

"DO WE NEED TO DRAW YOU A PICTURE OF OUR FAMILY TREE MOM???" Olive shouts.

_Maybe we should. Now where's some paper…_

Mrs. Snook gives us a blank, confused look.

_Jeez, how out of it can an old lady get?_

"THERE'S A REASON THE MAID OF HONOR DRESS WAS TOO TIGHT! LOOK!" I motion to my stomach and my tight pants. "Olive, we're getting me new clothes."

I think it then clicks when her expression changes.

"Well congratulations child!" Mrs. Snook exclaims hugging me, "Now who wants cookies?"

Cookie gasps.

"I don't want to get eaten mommy!!!" she yells.

"No, Carrie, the food not you," Olive tells her daughter.

"Cookie, I'm the only one mommy let's call you Cookie,"

I explain to the small girl, "To everyone else you're Carrie. I don't know why."

_Why DOES she let me call her that?_

"Here you go dear," Mrs. Snook says setting down a plate of cookies.

"COOKIE!" Cookie squeals grabbing one.

I take one and thank her.

"That's Mark, by the way," I say pointing to my boyfriend.

"Oh, hello Mark. What is that crazy box you are holding?" Mrs. Snook looks at Mark's camera.

"It's a camera. I'm making a documentary," Mark explains.

"Yet again," I laugh, "What are you filming this time anyway?"

_I never found out…_

"A camera… what does a camera do again, dear?"

Mrs. Snook looks into the lens.

"It makes movies. I can show you," I reply.

"They're videos. Did you watch the news last Christmas?" Mark asks, "I recorded a protest."

"Oh, alright dear, but how does it get in the little box?" Mrs. Snook inquires.

"Mom, it is magic just drop it," Olive says, exasperated.

I notice I'm beginning to feel nauseous.

"I'll be back, I'm feelin' sick," I state before darting to the bathroom.

"Oh no," Mark groans.

"This is not good. Mark, she will be all right!" Olive says.

"Oh my, I will go talk to her dear," Mrs. Snook announces.

"NOOO. Mom get back here!" Olive shouts.

As I sit regurgitating whatever I ate earlier (probably the cookies and my lunch) I hear Mrs. Snook come over.

_Crap._

"Uh… what are you doin' here?" I ask before puking.

"Do you need anything de-"

Before finishing she is suddenly jerked out by Olive.

"Go talk to Ned or something!" Olive snaps.

"Thanks," I say before throwing up again.

"No problem," Olive closes the door, locks it, and sits by me. "Do you need anything?"

"I hear honey makes the throat feel better," I say. "Never got to try it."

My throat is burning from all the barfing!

"Sure thing," Olive goes over and finds some and brings it back. "Here," she says handing me the honey.

I drink some. It feels kind of soothing.

"They were right!" I exclaim, "It does make you feel better!" my stomach wretches. "Crap."

My head drops into the toilet.

I hear a knock at the door.

"Olive… Nathan won't stop crying," Ned says.

Olive gets Nathan and sits back down.

"Hi there Nathan, say hi to Aunt April."

"Olive, I don't think he should see me puking," I say and vomit.

"Oh he does it all the time, being a baby and all. He won't remember anyways." Olive says.

"Okay…" I reply and then I throw up again.

I throw up a lot longer. I don't know how long I hurl. Olive digs through her purse and hands me some vitamins.

_What all does she keep in that purse??? She's taken out pills, pregnancy tests and anything else possible!_

"Take this," she instructs me.

"What's this?" I ask before puking, "I think it's gotten worse."

"Just some vitamins, it might help you regain some strength so you can eat something later," my sister tells me.

"Thanks," I take one, "I hope I can keep it down. I haven't been able to keep anything down for months. I've been throwing up like those bulimics at the high school."

_Well, technically just two months but still…_

"Awww, April dear, you should have told me it has been getting this bad," Olive says.

"I didn't think there was anything to do about it. Anyway, this is only half as bad as the twins," I tell her.

"Then you should be thankful," Olive laughs.

"I guess so," I say, "Ya think it's normal to be puking so much?"

_As in about twenty four-seven?_

"I've heard that the amount you puke cam determine the gender of the baby," Olive tells me.

"Thats interesting… and slightly creepy. How does that work?" I ask, "I've always puked a lot."

"Well I guess if you puke more it's a girl," Olive guesses.

"I guess we've settled that question," I say before vomiting again, "See?"

"Well just think about it a cute little baby girl that you can blame for puking so much," Olive replies.

"Yeah. I hope I'm not high when I name her, you know the twins have the name of a wine."

_Feel awful about that…_

"Don't worry. I will be there so you don't do that again,"

my sister reassures me.

"Thanks. I think I've stopped. Come on, we should check on everybody," I say standing up and feeling wobbly.

"Alright," Olive picks up Nathan and follows me out of the bathroom.

"I hope I've stopped puking," I say as I walk into the next room.

"Yeah. Hey Ned, what are you doing?" Olive asks.

"Oh nothing, just teaching the twins some words," Ned answers.

"Really?" I say, "So can they say anything?"

"Oh they can say mommy, daddy, pie, Uncle Ned, Aunt Olive," Ned lists, "I think that is it though."

"Oh my gosh really?" Olive asks, stunned.

"Really?" I ask.

"MOMMY!" Chardonnay yells.

"OH MY GOD NED YOURE A MIRACLE WORKER!!!" I scream hugging him, "Uh… not literally."

_In this case anyway… the whole dead thing… yeah._

"Auntie Olive!" Sherry shouts.

"How did you do that? Mark, how did he do that???" Olive demands.

"Uh…" Mark begins.

He seems speechless himself.

"Uncle Ned!" Sherry says.

"Pie!" Chardonnay yells.

"That is amazing!" Olive exclaimes.

"It IS! Ned what did you do? I've been trying for a year… at least when I'm not drunk… or in rehab… or something," I say blushing.

_God I'm a bad mom._

"I have no idea they just started talking and when I repeated stuff they talked," Ned explains.

"Wow, who knew it was so simple!" I say.

"I know. Well I guess we should get going," Olive announces.

"But you just got here," Mrs. Snook complains.

"I know but I… REALLY need some new clothes…" I adjust my pants. Too tight! "Yeah, um… bye!"

I dash out the door to avoid an increasingly awkward atmosphere.

"You forgot your kids!" Olive yells grabbing Cookie.

"Yeah!" Ned calls picking up Nathan.

"AHHH!" I scream, "I'm such a bad mother!"

I run back and pick up the twins.

"No you're not!" Olive protests jumping into the car."What are you talking about???" I snap as I join them, "I always came home drunk and I can't teach them how to talk! I can't even take

care of them properly! THEY ARE SLEEPING IN THE FILM ROOM!!!"

_I really don't think that's a good sign._

"Oh you're doing fine," Olive comforts me.

"Yeah… right," I say disbelievingly.

"No, you are fine, really," Olive persists.

"Yeah April, stop beating yourself up," Ned adds.

"Well maybe I should. You've been nothing but encouraging to me while I've screwed up everything from your wedding to your pies. Mine taste awful no matter what Maureen says, she's crazy."

"Aw, you only made the wedding more interesting," Olive says.

"You seemed pretty mad at the time," I point out.

"Never believe a drunk Olive that is the number one rule when it comes to Olive," Olive instructs me.

"Um, Olive, you were mad… then you got drunk."

"Oh, you're right," Olive says.

_Hence my point!_

"See? I'm screwed up," I state throwing my hands up.

"Oh, you're only a kid it is fine, it's all over now."

"Not really…" I look back down. "Crap. Still need to buy more clothes."

_I REFUSE to wear more man clothes! Especially Collins!_

"Oh well that is where we are going."

_Good. This is such a pain._

"Well Ned, can you take Mark and the kids home and then pick us up later?" Olive asks.

"Sure," the Piemaker replies.

"I still feel bad when you buy stuff for me…" I say, "Can't afford anything…"

"April, I'm your big sister, it's my job to watch over you," my Olive days.

"True…"

"Come on! Let's go shopping!" Olive yells pulling me out of the car.

"YES!!!" I yell, following her "I am SICK of my clothes!"


	23. Shopping

**Haha more shopping! Olive did promise April new clothes if she tells Mrs. Snook.**

**Do not own anything!

* * *

**"Alright, now what looks good to you?" Olive asks as we walk around the mall.

"Um…" I look around. "I have no idea."

"How about this yellow one?" Olive holds a yellow shirt up to me.

"I don't know. Yellow doesn't always work with blonds," I say.

I've always heard that. Then why does Glinda wear a yellow dress?

"Alright then," she puts it back on the rack. "How about a green shirt?"

She shows me it.

"Oh sure. How about this one?"

I hold up a blue shirt.

"That's great!" Olive says happily.

"Thought so… what size are these?"

_Shoot. If they don't fit…_

I quickly slip on the shirt.

"Crap! Okay, I need to find something else," I say.

"What, didn't it fit?" my sister asks.

"Um… define fit."

"Then what was the problem?"

"I think we're lookin' in the wrong area…" I say, "It's for tall people."

Sure enough, the shirt is sort of fitting except it's stretching an insanely long length down to my knees.

"Oh…" Olive mummers

She then starts laughing.

Yes, all four feet eleven inches of Olive Snook are laughing their bum off.

"Aw come on! We're the same height!" I whine.

"No, that is not why I'm laughing. It is because I did the same thing when I was searching for clothes when I was pregnant with Carrie," Olive laughs.

_How ironic._

"Oh. Really?" I ask before joining in the laughter.

"Yeah," she replies, "Come on, let's go the petite section."

"Good idea," I say, "I used to always just borrow Roger and Collins' clothing."

_Never could buy new clothes._

"Well I think you will look much prettier in new clothes," Olive says.

"You think so?" I ask, "Well those days I was just trying to get by."

_While absolutely broke._

"Oh you will look fabulous," my sister tells me.

_She really seems to believe that._

I keep walking around the mall, still looking for the petite section. We eventually find it.

"How could I possibly look fabulous?" I ask, sliding some clothes on a rack.

"You always look fabulous April," Olive replies.

"You really think so?"

"Yes! April I love everything you wear, you always look great!"

"The first time you saw me I was wearing sweats and Roger's shirt!" I point out.

_Not the best thing a girl can be seen wearing._

"I think you looked good in sweats," my sister replies.

"I was huge!" I whine.

"So? You still looked GREAT!"

_Olive, you've made your point._

"Ha-ha. Olive, you're a riot," I say sarcastically.

"Why thanks, April, but it's true!" Olive persists.

"You can stop complimenting yourself now. We look the same," I announce dryly.

I've only seen one visible difference. I have ringlet hair while Olive's lies straight. We're basically identical half sisters.

_What's with that anyway?_

"Okay, okay, I know we look identical, almost… okay, completely, but you look nice in everything," Olive says.

"Really?" I ask.

"Yes really!"

_I got an idea. Let's see what she says when I…_

"So what do you think of this?" I ask pulling out a random shirt.

It turns out that it's a cute one.

_Just my luck._

"I LOOOVE ITTT!" Olive sings.

"Okay. What else do you think I should get?"

I think she's getting some idea in her crazy, unpredictable head about what I should wear tonight. No idea why.

"I think you should wear this really cute outfit over here!" Olive replies pointing out another outfit.

_Ooh! It is cute._

"Ah! Look at the price!" I exclaim, "It's cute but do you think I should?"

I don't know if I should make Olive pay that much.

"I think you should"

"Okay, I'll go try it on," I announce.

_It looks good but the coast…_

"Alright just holler if you need help," Olive says.

I try it on and show her.

"How does it look?" I ask.

"It looks PERFECT! April you look beautiful!" my sister exclaims.

I look at myself.

_I look pretty good… for once._

"Thanks. Do you think I should get it?"

"Of course!" Olive says, "Mark will love it… by the way Mark is… never mind."

"What? MARK IS WHAT???" I demand.

Rule number one with April Snook/Rhodes: never spark her curiosity.

"Mark is… Mark is… oh is that a squirrel???" Olive shouts running off.

"Olive! How could a squirrel get in a mall???" I yell after her.

Seriously? Squirrel?

"Um… through the door?" Olive says, stopping.

"Never mind," I roll my eyes, "What is Mark doing?"

"He isn't doing anything!" Olive protests.

_She's hiding something._

"OH YES HE IS!!!" I yell, "I bet he told you something that I can't find out about!"

"Pfft… no," my sister lies, looking around nervously.

"Olive, I know when you're lying and you're doin' a dang bad job of it right now."

"Well at least I'm trying!" Olive snaps before covering her mouth. "Oops. I didn't say that."

I smirk at her.

_The one thing about us is that we're not the best at keeping secrets._

"I knew it. So what were ya gonna say about Mark?" I inquire.

"Nothing… now let's pay for this stuff and go," Olive says.

"Okay… but I'm gettin' you for this later," I reply, "Oops! I forgot to take this off!"

I'm still wearing the one outfit.

"Alright…" Olive laughs, "I don't think… SHUT UP OLIVE, SHUT UPPPP! Sorry, just had a mini breakdown. Oh look Ned is here."

I look and sure enough, there he is waiting outside.

"Well, whatever it is, am I gonna find out at home???" I ask, laughing.

_Olive is acting so weird today…_

"Well, Mark was going to…" she begins.

Ned covers her mouth.

"Mark is going to talk to you about pant colors for the baby's room," Ned finishes.

_That's a lie._

"Okay…" I say slowly, "Ned, we did that yesterday."

Yeah now they're both lying on something.

"Well then… ummm… Olive help!" Ned begs.

"Umm…" she begins.

"You're hiding something," I state, "What is it?"

"Nothing… Umm, I'm going to pay for this," Olive says as she grabs the clothes.

"Hey don't leave me here!" Ned calls helplessly.

I eye Ned suspiciously, tapping my foot.

"Well?"

"Umm… You look nice in that outfit April" Ned says.

"Why thank you Ned," I reply, "But you can't avoid this forever."

He can't. This has gotta come out one way or another.

"I won't have to."

"What???" I demand at Ned's remark.

"NED!" Olive shouts.

"I can't tell you, Ned already said too much!" Olive exclaims.

"O-KAY…"

_Weird…_

"Come on lets get you home," my sister says pulling me out the door.

"Wait, we did pay for this, right?" I ask, tugging on my outfit.

"Oh of course. Maybe you should… put this one on. For Mark…" she means the one she picked out earlier.

_For Mark?_

"Um…" I search my bag, "Found some."

"Found some what?" Olive asks.

"I wasn't sure if I had any money."

"NO! You are not paying for it! This was my treat!!!" Olive yells.

"Olive, you bought me a bunch of stuff already," I say.

"That is going to be diaper money kiddo."

I wrinkle my nose.

_Oh yeah. Twins and this baby._

"Ugh. Ew, right," I say flatly.

"Well come on April we should get you home."

"Yeah. I need to check on the twins."

My sister tries not to laugh.

_What's with her?_

"Sure thing April…" she replies.


	24. Mark!

**Yeah, super short but who cares? Anyway, it's the big secret. Here is what Olive and Ned were hiding from April, enjoy!**

**I own nothing! Well, unless you count the twins, April's (ahem) third child, and Dr. Zimmerman (Last Name) and… whatever you get it!

* * *

**"I'm back!" I announce as I walk through the door, arms loaded with bags.

"Oh! Hi April!" Mark says with a wave.

"Hey, um… where's the twins?" I ask looking around.

They are nowhere in sight.

"Yeah, I asked Ned to watch them tonight."

"And… they are gone… why?"

I give Mark a questioning look.

_We always prefer to watch them ourselves so why is Ned with them?_

"No real reason… I made dinner," Mark says, changing the subject.

Food (somehow) completely distracts me. I have no idea why it is these days. I'm usually never this hungry but maybe it's because of the baby.

"Cool, um… why?" I ask.

_He's acting really weird today. Then again, maybe that's just me._

We go over to a table we have set up in our apartment and Mark gets some food he made. Turns out he knows how to make spaghetti and

Ned gave us pie.

"So what's this about?" I ask suspiciously after I've devoured half of my meal.

_Seriously, what is with me???_

"Uh… nothing," Mark replies pathetically.

"Come on, I know this isn't nothing. The twins are away, you made dinner and Ned gave us a pie. Something's up," I say, taking another giant fork full of spaghetti.

_Why else would my sister and her husband be acting extremely odd?_

"Um, I've wanted to ask you something…" Mark begins.

_He's seeming a little nervous about something._

"What? Mark, you're lookin' kinda pale and I know that means you're skittish."

_He gets all pale and jittery and awkward and stuff._

He looks at me and he reaches into his pocket.

"Um, April, I was going to ask you… will you marry me?"

He then pulls out a ring.

My brain is exploding! I feel like cracking my high note!

I try not to… I think the whole apartment building would hear me all the way up to the top floor if I did (not a good idea, they complained last time I was singing in my apartment).

"Mark…" I stammer staring at him. "Yes, I will, I couldn't be happier," I eventually say as I stare at him like an idiot.

_OH MY GOD!!!_

He gently takes my hand and slips the ring on. I then notice it resembles the one I used to wear in Wicked during the beginning of act two.

It's a silver band and there are three green stones on it, two a lighter tinge and the third an emerald green.

I look back up and stare at Mark.

"Mark, you didn't…"

"No. It is, unfortunately, just a replica but I want to find a way to get the actual one you wore. That was the one I was able to get," he explains.

_Who cares? Mark just proposed!_

"I still love you," I say.

I lean in in close to him and giving him a good kiss. He responds by pulling me into a close embrace.

_SOME ENCHANTED EVENING…_


	25. Wicked

**Both Snook sisters got a little mad. Ned is taking them to Wicked and April (as you may notice) is getting strange hormone and emotion problems unlike when she had the twins. No idea why but it's getting much more interesting so expect the unexpected from her from now on.**

**Don't own April, Pushing Daisies, Wicked or Kristin Chenoweth. Glee owns April, Bryan Fuller owns Pushing Daisies, and I'm not completely sure who exactly owns Wicked. (Obviously) Nobody owns Kristin Chenoweth, she owns herself!

* * *

**

Ned is crazy… he's taking Olive and I to Wicked!!!

_Doesn't he KNOW that I was fired by Wicked? Twice???_

"Ned, this might get REALLY awkward," I say walking into the Gershwin Theater.

Ned tells me it will be okay which is kind of ironic since he hates awkward situations. We sit down in the auditorium and wait for the show to start. The beginning is the way I remember it when Kristin (as Glinda) floated down in the Bubble Machine. The one I used to use except I never performed.

"That's my role!" I snap and before I know it… I'm standing up.

"Who's the pregnant girl that looks like Kristin?" someone in the audience demands, "Or is that Kristin? Who's that on the stage?"

That IS Kristin you idiots!

"April, get down here right now" Olive shouts to me.

"Olive, that is Kristin, the girl who replaced me," I explain, looking at her. "They were right. She DOES look like us."

I've always been told she's a less slutty version of me…

_Now I get it!_

"April, you are ruining the show just get down here," Olive begs, "We can talk about it later."

"Okay okay," I say sitting down, "Why did Ned buy these tickets anyway?"

_Can't he remember anything this important?_

"I don't know," Olive replied, "Ned, why did you buy these stupid tickets?"

"I thought you might want to see it," Ned answered sheepishly.

"Maybe if I was never cast or something," I snap, "But I was and now I'm in the audience with a pie waitress job after being fired twice from the lead and pregnant. The people didn't even notice the difference when the sign changed from April Rhodes to Kristin Chenoweth because we look the same! What's with that?"

_This isn't good. I think I'm moving into the emotional category of mad and that isn't normal. _

"April, I know you are mad, I am too," Olive says, "But look at you, you're pregnant again and your twins they are growing up in front of your eyes. Don't be mad, your life is so much better then it ever was before."

"I guess so," I reply looking down again.

Thank God Olive took me shopping.

"You think so?" I ask as I sit back down.

"We can go if you don't want to stay," my sister offers.

"It's okay," I say, "I want to see how the show ended up after I left."

_I wonder if they changed anything other than Galinda._

"Alright just say something if you want to get out of here."

_After the show I leave, stunned._

"Wow. It was better than I thought it would be," I announce.

"That's good. Do you still want to talk to that Kristin girl?" Olive asks.

I think for a minute.

_I still got some things to say to her._

"I think I might," I decide.

"Alright than we better get back before she leaves," Olive says.

I walk down to the stage door and walk right in (after all this crap from Wicked I'm not afraid of some guards) and start looking for Kristin.  
I give up and just walk into her dressing room (which, must I mention, was mine?) and just as I grab the door to walk in she starts out (may I add that the door swings in?).

"Ow!" I hear her shout.

Apparently I just hit her on the nose.

_Oops. Didn't mean to do that, hehe._

"What was tha- wha?" Kristin looks, stunned at me… and recognizes me from the audience earlier.

"Hi, sorry 'bout that," I say apologetically, "Could I talk to you a second?"

"Hey April…" Olive says walking in. Then she sees Kristin's nose. "What did you do to her??? Did you punch her???"

"What? No! No, I didn't hit her!" I exclaim.

_Why would I PUNCH her???_

"The door did," Kristin finishes.

"Sorry 'bout that by the way," I apologize again.

_Why do they make those stage doors swing inward anyway? Isn't that kinda hazardous?_

"Oh good, well I'm Olive Snook," she holds out her hand, "My husband and daughter loved your performance."

"It turned out pretty well, even if the fired me…" I say.

"Thank you," Kristin replies, "WHAT?"

She looks at me, thunderstruck.

"Oh April was the last Glinda but she was fired," Olive explains.

"Weird," Kristin says, "They told me I was the first."

_Stupid wicked liars…_

"I think they wanted you to believe that," I reply.

"Ohhh, scandalous," Olive exclaims.

Kristin and I give her our death glare.

"Peanut Gallery shutting up now," Olive says meekly.

_There we go._

"Thank you. Wait… you know the Snook Death Glare?" I ask Kristin.

"The Snook Death Glare?" Kristin asks.

"Oh God, don't tell me I have another sister," Olive groans.

"This is gettin' just plain confusing!"

_How much has Mrs. Snook been around? Seems a lot for someone so out of it._

"Wha?" Kristin asks.

"Very long story. I mean LONG. April just tell her what you want to tell her, I don't want to find out anything more about her," Olive says.

"I'll explain another day if we meet again. So I was Glinda and they fired me because I got pregnant and then they fired me because I was drunk a while after that and I used to be mad at you, but seeing the justice you did the role I'm not QUITE so mad anymore," I say to Kristin.

"Thanks… I think," she replies, still confused.

"Well thanks Kristin… Umm I am going to go, this is too weird for me," Olive announces walking out of the room.

"I was adopted you know," Kristin says thoughtfully.

"STOP RIGHT THERE!" I yell, "I don't think Olive wants to know any more!"

"DID SHE JUST SAY SHE WAS ADOPTED???" Olive yells before screaming.

"Is it just me, or does this make absolutely no sense?" Kristin asks, turning to me with a funny look on her face.

"I think I should explain later. I was an orphan and it turned out that I was her sister. Our mother is kinda insane."

"Kinda more like mental!" Olive adds, poking her head in.

"Very," I say, "Anyway, yeah. It turned out I was her long lost sister which explains our identical looks. Then there's you."

I give her a serious look.

_She was adopted, would she be related? She has our identical looks, just like Olive and I. But what color are her eyes???_

"Oh. Okay," Kristin says.

_She doesn't seem to quite get the situation, but then again… WHO WOULD???_


	26. Sister, Parties and Pies, Oh My!

**Happy b-day, April! Haha yeah. She actually survived to twenty, who knew?**  
**Do not own. I just own April's kids and Dr. Zimmerman.

* * *

**

I wake up this morning and I remember something very important:

It's my birthday.

_I'm a little afraid._

I know it's sounds stupid but I've been having some bad experiences with my birthday lately. I'm living in a safer apartment but who knows what can happen? On my eighteenth birthday I found out I was pregnant with the twins and lost my part. Next birthday Benny came to collect the rent and tried to kick me out of the apartment again. I eventually left anyway but still. What can happen this time?

Cautiously, I slide out of bed. I start feeling nauseous.

_Oh, here we go._

The morning routine hasn't changed yet. I still hurl every morning but it's not coming as early as it used to, so I can pack in a few more hours sleep.

I dash off to the bathroom and vomit for a while. It seems to have stopped a little. It doesn't last an hour like it used to but it still is coming up at random times.

After the puke fest is over I take a quick shower. I then notice I'm insanely hungry.

_Still can't get used to my new appetite._

I trudge back into the kitchen and I find some pie left in the refrigerator. I grab a good sized slice of that and find myself devouring it.

_Happy birthday, April. I am eating pie for breakfast just after barfing your guts out. Wait a sec… I'm twenty._

I stop eating my pie and stare at its fruity filling, turning this fact over in my mind.

After a while I figure I should probably get the Pie Hole set for the day and head downstairs.

I set up the Pie Hole for business, taking down the chairs and refilling the sugar. Olive comes down later.

"Hey, set up the Pie Hole. Woke up sorta early," I say.

"Yeah, oh, happy birthday, April," Olive replies.

"Ah!" I yell, "DON'T GO THERE!"

_DON'T MENTION MY BIRTHDAY!_

"Oh sorry, forgot…" Olive apologizes, "Well hope you have a nice day April."

"Okay… I am going to go serve pie now," I say and slowly edge off.

The rest of he day seems to go pretty normal. Emerson yells at me a while (he's calling me Stripper now), I argue with Olive over something, Mark comes down and films some customers and then has a pie. The long day of pie serving is over and I head back to my apartment.

"Mark?" I call walking in.

"SURPRISE!!!" everyone shouts jumping out from hiding spots.

"AHHH!" I scream, "Olive! What's goin' on???"

I look around wildly to see pretty much every person I know. All the Bohemians, Ned, Olive, Lauren, Cookie, Emerson and Mrs. Snook. Thank God Zimmerman isn't here..

_Who knew that such a small apartment with no furniture could hide so many people!_

Kristin isn't either, probably out being me and taking the credit for being the first Glinda.

Emerson looks at me and groans.

"Happy birthday, Stripper," he says dully.

"Don't you like it, April? It's a surprise party! For YOU!" Olive exclaims.

"What is this again, dear?" Mrs. Snook asks, still completely out of it.

"Um… thanks?" I say, looking at the streamers and balloons, "But I thought you remembered, I AVOID my birthday!"

"But you can't really avoid it… I mean you can try to have fun! Look at the bright side you can legally drink in one year!" Olive announces brightly.

"True…" I reply slowly.

_Well then I won't have to just go around with street vendors and stuff._

"Cheer up, it is your party," Olive says.

"Okay," I reply wearily when suddenly the doors fly open.

"AM I LATE???" Kristin yells, looking around. Everybody is staring. "Oh. Yeah, I'm late… aren't I?"

She looks down at the floor a little embarrassed.

_Wait_…_ Kristin is here???_

"Oh no!" Emerson shouts, "ITTY BITTY THREE!"

"Shut up, Emerson," Olive says flatly.

"Baby… third?" Mrs. Snook mutters, "One night stand… family tree…"

"WHAT DID SHE JUST SAY???" I yell, staring in shock.

_I can't believe what I'm hearing._

_"The old hag better be delusional right now," Olive says._

"Was it… Smith… Henry… Micheal… Cameron… hmmmmm…" Mrs. Snook murmurs.

"HOW MUCH CAN THE OLD LADY HAVE BEEN AROUND??? SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT A CAMERA IS!!!" I scream.

_She was asking MARK!!!_

"Mom…" Olive starts with a sigh.

"What?" Mrs. Snook asks.

"Did you have another kid?"

"Ummm…" she begins.

_Uh oh. This isn't good._

"Let's get this over with," I sigh, "Momsie, how many kids did you have?"

"Um… two… three… four… one…" Mrs. Snook answers.

I scream at the top of my lungs at that.

_SHE HAD FOUR???_

"OH MY GOD!!!" I shriek, "WE ALREADY FOUND THREE!!! Olive, me, Kristin, WHO ELSE IS THERE??? I was a street orphan, Kristin was adopted and Olive was brought up ignored."

"Oh Lord, don't tell me I have another sister!" Olive yells.

"Well… Kristin does look like one of us," I point out, looking Kristin from top to bottom, "She has the Snook Death Glare. Kristin, do you know ANYTHING about your birth family?"

"No, not really," Kristin responds, "Just that my mom had a one night stand with a married pilot and went to Oklahoma to have me up for adoption."

"Oh my God, she's one of us!" I shout.

"That's what I heard, anyway," Kristin adds.

"I'M NOT LISTENING!!!" Olive yells, tightly plugging her ears.

"Wait… did I just find my other family?" Kristin asks.

_Sweetie, I think you did._

"Oh dear Lord, why am I related to her???" my sister moans, pointing to Mrs. Snook.

"Hey, so are we," I remind her, grabbing Kristin's arm.

"I'm takin' this as a 'yes'," Kristin says.

"Oh well have fun with your 'new' sister, April," Olive snaps storming out.

"Olive, wait!" Ned calls after her.

"Olive! Get back over here!" I yell.

"Is she always so hot headed?" Kristin asks.

"Yeah. Pretty much," I reply smiling weakly.

_ALL. THE. TIME._

"April could you watch the kids?" Ned asks, "I have to go get her."

He hands me Nathan and runs out the door.

"Oh hello there dear… what is your name?" Mrs Snook asks, hugging Kristin.

_She is SO out of it. God knows how many children she actually had!_

"That's Kristin Chenoweth. Broadway star and, strange enough, stole my role," I say.

"Hey, I didn't know that!" Kristin protests.

"True," I reason.

"You look so pretty my dear… now why do you two look like sisters?"

"I think we ARE," I say dryly. "How many children did you have again Momsie? Four? Kristin, I think that you're another member of the Snook sisters. I was one and Olive was the only non-orphaned one."

"But dear… April, right?" she pauses, "I only had one child. And that is my little angel Olive… or is it Anchovies?"

_Okay, she's high._

"AHHH! It's OLIVE!!!" I yell, "I'm April, that's Kristin and the only daughter you didn't abandon is OLIVE!!!"

"So you are saying that I have two more daughters…"

"AT LEAST!!!" I snap.

_This is so ANNOYING!!! Hang on… I'm angry. How can I be angry?_

"Wait… are you saying this is who I have for a mom?" Kristin asks.

_I'm SO sorry._

"I am your mother? Oh, no no no, I distinctly remember only giving birth once."

"I think your memory is fading, dearest," I say flatly, "Think back… twenty years exactly…"

_The day I was born… I think._

"April, what are you doing?" Kristin inquires and looks at me with a confused look.

"Oh yes. I see the lights," Mrs. Snook mutters.

"GAAAHHH!!!" I scream.

"Oh yes, I remember the baby… it was adorable… tiny… one or two months premature… it was strong though… it made it through… they said the poor thing would die but she didn't…"

"Wait… I was TWO MONTHS premature??? They thought I'd DIE??? I was a STREET ORPHAN!!!" I scream.

_God, why then was I living on the street half the time as a kid???_

"I am a old women, give me time to finish child!" Mrs. Snook snaps, "Hmmm… oh yes… I had a family… the mister couldn't find that out… so I gave her away… I knew Anchovies would want a baby sister… but it would ruin the marriage."

"It's OLIVE, Momsie," I correct.

_Seriously! Anchovies???_

"Wow. You have QUITE the story, April!" Kristin says.

"Yeah… Some birthday…" I reply, "NED!!! Where'd Olive go?"

"Anchovies???"

_OLIVE!!!_

"Oh, hi," Ned says as he walks in the door quickly.

"Where's Olive?"

"I'VE BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME!!!" Emerson roars.

I look behind me to see Lauren, the Bohemians, Emerson and the kids.

"OH! Oops! Sorry!" I say.

"Ummm… disappeared. I couldn't stop her… ummm… yeah," Ned answers sheepishly.

"WHAT??? NED SHE CAN'T DISAPPEAR AGAIN!!!" I scream.

_Oh, CRAP!_

"Ummm… April, it is all right, calm down," Ned says.

"Ned… think of it this way: REMEMBER THE LAST TIME SHE DISAPPEARED???" I yell.

"I have no idea what's going on now," Kristin announces.

_Oh, yeah. Right. Another sister._

"Oh just ask anyone, they will tell you the stories… April, it is okay, I am going to go look for her… ummm… right now?" Ned says.

"Here, I'll explain," I tell Kristin, taking her to my couch, "Wait a second, why do I suddenly freak out an then calm down? What is with me lately???"

_I'm not usually emotional. It feels weird._

"Well, you're pregnant," Ned replies, slowly inching toward the door.

"Oh…" I say, "Huh?"

_Was that supposed to answer my question?_

"Hormones, April…" Ned explains, "They make your moods change."

"Well THAT explains why I can feel mad!" I exclaim, "I NEVER feel mad!"

_It's really weird._

"Well I don't know why you would feel mad… but I'm not the person that mad people talk to so I am just going to slip out the door…" Ned says and quickly leaves.

_What the heck?_

"No I mean I CAN! Not now but I did a while back. He's been acting REALLY weird lately," I announce sitting back down (I had stood up yelling after Ned).

"I've noticed. Or is he just weird?" Kristin asks.

"Pie boy is hiding something… I am going to check it out" Emerson says as he gets up.

_I want to know what it is!_

"Dear, don't worry about Olive, she will be fine," Lauren reassures me.

"Good idea. FIGURE OUT WHAT IT IS EMERSON!!!" I yell, "Oh what the heck? Kristin, do you still want to hear about why I worry about Olive?"

"I think so. If we're sisters I should know," Kristin replies.

"Lauren, you wanna tell her?" I offer.

"Which time the first or the second time?" Lauren asks.

"Either one" I reply, "She should know about how this whole messy cycle works."

"Alright here it goes… Olive was on the streets after she was fired from being a horse jockey, she had a daughter named Carrie," Lauren points to Carrie who is sleeping on the couch next to the twins. "She was broke, and then she met April. She got all upset at April for stuff that is not important at this point. After that she left a suicide note and let Carrie stay with April. Olive went to a bridge, met Ned… blah blah blah… she stopped cutting and using drugs. Had Nathan… got mad at girl named Chuck… ran away almost died AGAIN! blah blah blah… moral of the story don't get Olive mad."

"Or you will be SORRY!" I add before singing my high note, "She will get drunk and start cutting and if you have a weakness like me she will torture you with it."

_And that's just the nutshell version!_

"Yes, my daughter Anchovies is a smart cookie," Mrs. Snook says.

"Will you shut UP???" Lauren snaps.

"You can shut up now…" I tell my mother, "AND HER NAME IS OLIVE!!!"

"Is she high?" Kristin asks.

_I wonder that myself, sweetie._

"I have no idea. Olive talks about how much she hates the woman but I don't think she mentioned drugs," Lauren says.

"Never again will I do that," Emerson announces walking back in.

"What? DO WHAT???" I demand, "Okay, April, SHUT UP! Maybe she drinks like I used to. It might explain my problem and, occasionally but not so often, Olive's."

"Oh shut it, Stripper, she isn't drinking," Emerson snaps.

"Okay, good. So what is she doin'?"

"You don't want to know," Emerson replies sitting on the couch.

"OH YES I DO!!!" I yell.

_Could someone PLEASE explain to me what I am doing?_

"Well… she is having sex wit the Piemaker. Happy?"

"Oh… WHAT???" I shout.

_Okay I think I can handle that. Now why won't I SHUT UP???_

"I told you so but nooo, you needed to know."

Olive bursts into the room with a blanket around her… seriously, just a blanket. Nothing else.

_Well that's some proof! I don't think I wanted to see that._

"Okay, okay, I'm not missing!" Olive announces.

"Emerson just told me what you were doing and if you're wondering I gave Kristin a briefing on your disappearances," I say.

"Thank you, Emerson," Olive says giving Emerson he death glare before mouthing "You watch out".

"Okay. Weird," I say as she walks back into her room.

I look over to see Lauren asleep on my couch next to Emerson.

_Aw. It's kinda cute._

"I guess you're stayin' the night," I say, "Oh feel free to sleep on the couch all night, we just have that, two cots and a CRIB!"

_Not much. Need more stuff. Too poor._

"Thanks but I have a car…" Emerson begins looking out the window, "That is gone."

"So you ARE staying here?" I begin, "AHHH!!!"

_Why, dear Lord, why???_

"Well that is just perfect," Emerson complains.

"Emerson, I'm not happy about this either but do ya want me to just send you off on a bus?" I ask.

"Alright I will stay," he says looking at Lauren.

"Do ya want the couch or the bathtub? I'll try to squeeze the twins back into their crib."

_And maybe Cookie and Nathan too._

"Floor," Emerson replies flatly.

I go to the bedroom and take some sheets off Mark's bed.

"Here," I say, handing him the blankets.

"Thanks," Emerson cover's LAUREN with the blanket. "Don't you dare get another," he warns.

"Why?" I ask, "You just gave it to Lauren."

I pick up twins, Nathan and Cookie and go to film room to try to get them into the crib. I walk back when they're all in. Little tightly but I must make do and I can't go to Olive's now.

"Ya gonna sleep in your suit?" I ask Emerson.

"Can I use the extra bed?" Kristin asks.

_Ah! Forgot her!_

"Oh! Yeah, sure, one problem: it no longer had blankets. That's all I got."

The blankets for Mark's bed, mine, the twins crib and that's it but I'm not gonna ask Olive for more money. She's done enough just by getting me an actual roof.

"Here," Emerson takes the blanket from Lauren and grabs his coat, "We will be fine."

"What, what's happening?" Lauren asks, suddenly waking up.

"Everybody's staying here," I explain, "Kristin has the cot, sorry Kristin no blankets, Mark and I will share the other. The twins are back in the crib and Emerson's taking the floor. You get couch. Wait… the Bohemians…"

_Nothin' else here. That's it._

"Oh, actually," I take the blanket from Emerson, "Wait, Emerson," I look at him suspiciously, "Are you being NICE to a SNOOK???"

_He's NEVER nice to Snooks! Why would he be nice to Kristin?_

"Yes Stripper I am being nice to a Snook," Emerson replies.

"Wow. I'm surprised."

_Emerson hates all of us so far. _

"The world is full of surprises," he gives lauren his jacket.

"Thanks Emerson," Lauren says wrapping it around herself.

"Kristin, you are sleeping on the cot and that's the last place we've got. Now where am I gonna but the Bohemians?" I wonder.

"No it's fine. We'll get going now," Maureen says.

"I need to fine a bar," Collins announces.

"COLLINS!!!" I snap.

_He knows perfectly well that I cannot drink and hate when people talk about it._

"Will you all shut up, people are trying to sleep!" Emerson snaps.

"Mark, you should go to bed," I say to Mark.

"What about you?" he asks.

"I'm fine!" I say a little irritably.

"REALLY IS THIS THE RIGHT TIME TO BE TALKING???" Emerson bellows.

"Okay okay, sheesh. What a crabbyfish! Mark, I'll join you in a minute!" I call.

"Well I'm going to bed," Kristin announces before dragging Mark's cot into the room, "And I'm gonna sleep here."

Lauren falls asleep again and cuddles up next to Emerson.

"Um…" he begins.

"I think you've got a sleeping buddy," I laugh.

"On second thought, maybe I WILL sleep in the bedroom," Kristin says before pulling Mark's cot back into our room.

"What???" Emerson shouts looking at Lauren, "This can't be happening!"

"Trust me, I know this kinda stuff. It IS," I tell Emerson.

"It's been a long day," Kristin says, "PLEASE don't go into this kinda stuff now."

"Does she like me? Has she ever said she likes me?" Emerson asks.

"No," I answer, "But I know. It doesn't matter if you call me a hooker or a stripper, I know if someone likes someone else."

"Ug, God," Emerson groans.

"Well you can't avoid it. You won't believe how many men chased me around after I left the Cat Scratch," I say, "I would just walk out and some dude would grab me. I had to learn a lot of self defense to get away from all that crap."

_It was insanely annoying. Most of them were drunk. There's a reason I never took up hooking… other than my HIV infected friends. They would tell me I'm risking my safety just for some cash._

"That is just perfect… I've only known her for how long?" he thinks a minute, "A couple of hours?"

"That's long enough for some," I reply.

"Ummm… does she lie? Cheat? Run away?" Emerson questions, "Oh, and last but not least, strip?"

_Don't go there, buddy._

"Shut up," I snap, "No, she does not lie, cheat, run away or strip. She runs a diner, good coffee…"

_My new addiction. Whenever I'm sober I drink coffee. _

"Oh good. I thought she might be like you or your other sisters," Emerson chuckles.

"Kristin isn't a stripper!" I snap.

"WHAT???" Kristin shrieks from the next room.

"You are NOT a stripper," I clarify, "I was. Anyway, NOT ALL OF MY FRIENDS ARE STRIPPERS!"

"Okay, name two of them," Emerson challenges.

_Crap. _

"Ummm… Maureen isn't a stripper… she's a bi performance artist," I sigh, "Don't say it. I'm a slut."

_This isn't very convincing. I guess I should give up here. _

"I was going to think it but thanks for saying it for me," Emerson says.

I give him the Snook Death Glare.

"Sure. Don't mention it," I say sarcastically.

"Hey, don't look at me like that!" Emerson snaps.

_I think he means the Snook Death Glare. _

"Why?" I ask, "I always look at you like this."

_Literally always. He calls me hooker, I give him the Look and call him Codfish. _


	27. Yes, I Am Eating That

**This chapter is completely pointless and I wrote it to entertain me. Anyway, it's funny. Thanks to all my friends for the gross, crazy and absolutely random food combos. Oh, and the barbecued Twinkie, my friend ate one once… said it was real gross but hey, April is eating weird stuff now. It works. Also, Hot Sauce from Hell is REAL! I'm serious! The label literally said "Hot Sauce from Hell"!**

**Do not own anything here!

* * *

**

"Mark, do we have any green beans?" I ask, digging around in our kitchen.

"No," Mark says, "Why?"

_Crap._

"I found some chocolate sauce and I wanted to eat some with it," I reply.

"Ew," Mark says.

_I know. My diet lately has been really gross. Not very healthy either._

A week passes and I don't get my green beans. My taste in food is still getting weirder.

"April… what are you EATING???" Ned asks looking my strange meal.

"Mmm…" I mutter, "Rhubarb and chocolate pie."

"Stripper, there's GOTTA be something wrong with you. That is DISGUSTING!" Emerson remarks.

"Shut up," I reply before taking another bite.

_This is the weirdest pie in the history of pie baking… and I think it's pretty good._

A few hours later I'm sure there's something wrong with me. I sit at a Pie Hole booth, eating another strange… object.

_This is so gross! Yet… it tastes kinda good._

I keep eating the thing. It's a barbecued Twinkie. Well, not really barbecued but it's got barbecue sauce on it.

_What's been with me and sauces?_

I just noticed everything weird I've eaten lately includes a sauce. It's been every sauce in the recipe book, chocolate sauce, barbecue sauce, soy sauce, Hot Sauce from Hell (don't ask, ya don't wanna know).

_Trust me, this is completely new._

I don't EVER remember having weird food habits but lately I've discovered all sorts of odd things about me.

I go find more to eat.

I should mention that I've also developed a bottomless appetite. I keep finding myself looking for more food, even if I've finished a whole meal. It's almost sad.

Mark is completely stunned at me lately. He's never seen me like this. Ever. He feels a little weirded out by the fact that the twins never did this to me and there is no logical reason for that fact known to anyone. Ned seems to be taking it okay. I think he's ignored all of the pies I took from the Pie Hole refrigerator. I highly doubt he didn't notice. I took twelve pies.

_That is kind of embarrassing._

Emerson is teasing me. Again. He, on the other hand, thinks it is absolutely hilarious to watch me eat a bunch of gross and weird combinations of food and has been hanging around even more. He's sitting in the next booth right now with a smirk on his face.

"Shoo!" I snap at him, giving him the Death Glare.

"No."

_Stupid Codfish._

"Do I have to kick you out?"

"Yes. Let me see you try, Stripper," Emerson replies.

_Crap._

I take my Twinkie and walk off. No way am I going to be the main entertainment for a bored PI. Not a chance. Not ever.

_Okay, scratch that last part. Who knows who's in an audience._

Emerson follows me over. I glare at him some more.

"I said it two weeks ago! Don't look at me like that!" he yells.

"Well I will. And I'm not going to stop," I say before hurrying up the steps to my apartment.

Business hours are over so Ned won't mind if I leave now. He's actually prebaking some pies just in case I end up craving some kind of midnight snack. He definitely knows I'm sneaking food.

_Oops. Maybe I did take too much pie._

Emerson keeps following. I stuff the whole Twinkie in my mouth.

"Show's over!" I shout despite the fact that he can't understand a word I'm saying.

"What?" he asks.

_Why can't he just LEAVE???_

"SHOW'S OVER!!!" I snap before tearing up the steps and into the first elevator I see.

"Aw come on!" he complains.

"You snooze, you lose!" I shoot back as the doors begin to close.

He grabs one and stops the elevator from going.

_Crap._

"I JUST started finding you amusing and you run off! I thought you were a entertainer!"

"Not in this sense, Codfish!"

He grumbles something and lets to of the door.

"Thank you," I say as the doors close.

I ride up to my floor and enter my apartment. Mark is inside going over recent filming's. He started making a documentary of the Pie Hole and other local restaurants. There's some footage of me that I've been trying to get him to pitch but he won't.

"Mark, I thought I told you to get rid of that one!" I complain upon watching an embarrassing clip of myself.

"Why?" Mark asks, "I thought it was funny!"

_Thanks, Mark. You're the best boyfriend/fiancee a gal could ask for._

Next day I go back to the Pie Hole. I don't take any pie. I'm back to work and I have a question for Olive… again.

"Olive, why am I eating green beans in chocolate sauce?" I ask.

I'm sitting at a booth eating food. Ned had just been staring at me with a look somewhere between shock and disgust on his face.

"Okay, let's go over this one more time…" Olive says, "You are pregnant, righttt?"

"Um… yes?" I say looking down at my stomach.

_It's a wonder I haven't puked my guts out over this._

_How does that work? I eat normal food and I upchuck every five minutes, I eat some disgusting food combination and I keep it all down._

_Oh whatever. I'm not puking so I'm good._

"What does that have to do with anything?" I ask taking another bite of green beans and chocolate sauce (yes, I finally found the green

beans), "Ya know, I probably shouldn't be eating this. Emerson's laughing and Ned is staring."

_That Codfish is annoying._

"Just look in this book" Olive shows me a book "Right here, page 45. Pregnancy might cause weird cravings and such."

"WHY DIDN'T YOU SHOW ME THIS EARLIER???" I demand before pausing to think. "And why didn't I have this problem before???"

_Nothing like it. Ever._

"I have no idea, read the book," Olive replies, handing me the book.

I start skimming it and find a lot of stuff that would have been nice to have known earlier to save me some unpleasant experiences.

"Okay, this really explains a lot," I say, "Except why I just puked my guts out and nothing else when I had the twins."

While I now am getting weird cravings as the book says and a bunch if other stuff.

_Now what did Ned say earlier? Blah, blah, blah… hormones… blah, blah, blah… mood changes… something, something, something… don't remember a word he said…_

I finish my green beans and chocolate.

"I want deep fried jello," I state, "Oh my GOD, that sounds disgusting!"

"April, that is so gross," Olive says, "That is the weirdest thing I have ever heard."

"I KNOW! What am I gonna do about it?" I ask.

"Eat it, I guess."

_Ew. Now where to find it…_

"Now where am I gonna get that??? It's DEEP FRIED JELLO!!!"

"Ummm… I'm not sure?" Olive replies.

_Great. I'm eating the most disgusting food around, NOT puking it up later and it's impossible to find!_

"Maybe I should go to this one place," I say, "They deep fry everything!"

"What place?" Olive asks, "I really don't eat anything deep fried unless I just broke up with someone. Oh, talking about relationships, I heard about you and Mark."

"Remember how I said I was broke and hopped random buses?" I begin, "Well I was riding on one once and passed a deep fry place around here. Now what about me and Mark?"

"Well you Mark getting married, you know that. Oh and what happened after I left?" she pauses for a minute, "I hate Emerson!"

"So do I. Anyway, is that why you were acting crazy when we were shopping?" I ask, "Not much happened, the twins had some bonding time with Cookie and Emerson is still teasing me again. He's always got something to laugh at me about."

"Well that is Emerson," Olive laughs.

"True," I say, "He's annoying. He keeps watching me eat… and laughing."

"But look at him," Olive points to his booth as Lauren walks in and sits across from him, "Oh my gosh what is going on there?"

_Great. He's in love._

"Well I know that she likes him, but I don't know if he likes her but I'm thinkin' he does," I reply.

Olive looks at me in shock.

_Crazy, ain't it?_

"Wow…"

"I know. I'm going to find my weird food now," I announce. "I finished the green beans."

_And it was amazingly good._

"Ummm… yeah."

"Sorry about the grossness of it all," I apologize, "I can't believe what I'm eating these days."

"It is okay April, I really don't care," Olive says.

"Well you should see Ned. I've already taken twelve pies!" I exclaim.

_That is SAD!_

"It is cool, can't you see this place is full of pies???" Olive asks looking around.

"That's because Ned is keeping up with my diet!!!" I snap, "Olive, Ned is baking more so we actually have pie to sell. I've eaten about half of your refrigerator!"

_My God, that sounds really bad._

"Well, April, just try to eat less pies," Olive says, "We don't want you to get sick if you eat too many."

"Good idea. I'm hungry a lot more lately."

"April, I could take your shift for a while if you want," Olive offers looking around the Pie Hole.

"Thanks," I say with a smile, "That would be great."

"Alright, well you should go get some rest or something," my sister advises.

"Okay," I say, suddenly noticing how tired I am, "Maybe if I sleep I'll get over the deep fried jello thing."


	28. Carly and Cohens

**Another doctor's visit for April. Zimmerman is still the doctor. Ya know, Olive curses a bit in this story if you read whatslifereally **_**Pushing Olive**_** and stuff. Weird. Well, Mark's mother will soon make an appearance in the story as a warning.**

**MWAHAHAHAHA!!! I own Zimmerman and Carly (you'll get it when you read this)!!!

* * *

**

I'm at the doctors again. Need another checkup. Last Name walks in.

"No, no…" I whine, "WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BECOME A DOCTOR???"

"Umm… April, I think it is because he wanted too…" Olive says, "But I could be wrong."

_Well I know THAT!_

"No, mean… never mind. Snook luck stinks," I announce.

_A lot._

"Sorry, April," Olive apologizes, "My head's been killing me all day."

"Oh, it's okay. Maybe we should just go."

_Before this gets worse._

"What?" Zimmerman yells, "Did we or did we not set up this checkup???"

"It's been a bad day," I reply.

_And YOU'RE here._

"Whatever your name is," Olive points to Zimmerman, "Just do what you do and get it over with."

He puts more stuff on me. After more ultrasound stuff I am asked if I want to know the gender.

_Um… maybe?_

"Should I get the gender?" I ask my sister.

"Well you should have asked Mark before we left…" she replies.

_Why DIDN'T Mark come? Oh yeah. He was too freaked out._

"Yeah," I say, "I guess we'll just wait. Let's get going."

"Yeah. Before something bad happens," Olive replies.

"I think somethin' already did," I say, "Who's this?"

"Ummm…" Zimmerman begins.

"His girlfriend, Carly."

_Girlfriend???_

"Oh, um… I kinda know him…" I mutter.

_I'm blurting agian…_

"April, do you really want to go into this?" Olive asks.

"Shut up, hooker…" Zimmerman snaps, "I mean what? Hahaha… ha?"

_Hooker? Him too??? He didn't PAY me to sleep with him, therefore, by definition, I am NOT a hooker!!!_

_"WHY IS EVERYBODY CALLING ME A HOOKER???" I shout._

"WHAT???" Carly yells.

"Oh God, here we go again!" Olive exclaims.

"CarCar it was a long tine ago!" Zimmerman protests.

"CarCar???" I ask, beginning to stifle laughter.

_What a dork! He calls his girlfriend CarCar!_

"How long?" Carly demands.

I promptly stop laughing.

"Uh… almost two years?"

"Um… wow, this is going to get bad isn't it?" Olive remarks.

"Ya think???" I reply.

You can kinda see that just looking at this scene in front of you. Here is the man who slept with me a while ago (resulting in twins) and then I'm getting a doctor appointment from him while pregnant again with my fiancee's child.

"Okay what happened???" Carly snaps.

"Oh, well April was a dancer and she got pregnant with his baby… well, twins, actually," Olive explains.

"Pretty much," I say.

"So… you're a slut?" Carly asks.

_Why does everybody say that??? Wait, don't answer that. It's true._

"Hey, she isn't a slut!" Olive snaps.

"Cool it, Olive," I say, "She's kinda…" I grimmace, "right. I hate saying that."

_SO much. _

"Well I really don't like to think of you that way," Olive says.

"I kind of figured that out," I reply.

"Well now that this is over we should go."

"Good idea. I wonder if I can change doctors…" I mutter.

"You probably could," Olive says.

_Thank goodness. _

"Good. I'm gonna," I announce, "I don't think I can stand another run in with this guy."

"Same here."

"Let's get out of here. Mark's probably waiting for news," I say walking out.

I ride the whole way home, wondering if I should tell Mark about the incident at the doctors.

_Might not be a good idea. _

"Hi Mark," I say entering my apartment.

"Hey, April. Anything new?" Mark asks.

"No," I reply getting on my toes and giving him a kiss.

Mark slid his arms down and picked me up to hold me closer.

"What was that???" he suddenly asked, abruptly breaking apart.

"What was what?" I stare at him blankly.

"Didn't you notice?" he asks when I suddenly realize what he's talking about.

"Oh, that?" I ask grabbing his hand and putting it on my stomach.

He gives me a stunned look and nods.

"Mark, that's normal," I laugh as he keeps looking at me.

"It is?"

"Yes, the baby kicks," I say, still smiling.

"Oh. I don't remember that before."

"Well, A, you never felt there before and, B, you weren't with me until last September."

"So that's really mine?" he asks, still thunderstruck at new knowledge.

"Who else's?"

Mark raises an eyebrow. My eyes go wide.

"I haven't done that again, I swear."

I hold up my right hand.

"Still can't believe that," he says. "When I said I might like to have a family some day I didn't think it would be so soon afterword. Now I'm not so sure."

"You don't want it?" I suddenly ask stepping back.

"That's not what I meant!" Mark says quickly, "I meant… um… I have no idea what I meant."

The phone rings. The machine goes off. We bought a new message machine with the little money I made from working as a waitress.

_"Hi, this is Mark Cohen," _Mark's voice says.

_"AND APRIL RHODES!"_ I sing operatically in the background.

Mark continues.

_"Please leave a message after the-" _

_"SSSPPPEEEAAAKKK!!!" _

"**Mark? Are you there? It's mom. Mazeltov on getting engaged, who's the girl?**"

_Mark's mother. Perfect. _

"Mark, should we pick up?" I ask, turning back to Mark.

"The less I answer the less she calls. Let's not encourage her," Mark replies.

"I think she should at least know about us. If I had parents that weren't mentally insane I would have told them if I was getting married."

I walk over and pick up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Mark, have you been inhaling helium again?" Mrs. Cohen asks on the other end.

"No, this is the girl you asked about," I say flatly.

"Oh, well my, your voice is… unusual."

"Yes, I know. That's what everyone says."

_Literally everyone. That's why I've been rejected so many times from shows._

"Oh, well I'm sorry if I offended you. Can I talk to Mark?"

I look at Mark. He gives me a look and waved his hands around a little.

"Um, he's… busy. Out. Filming more," I say lamely.

"Oh, well, I should know more about you. What jobs have you had?"

_That subject isn't a good start to anything. I have a feeling she won't like this. _

"Um, I was a… dancer… and then I started serving pies."

"Are you saying you're one of those exotic dancers like Roger's girlfriend???" she demands, a colder tone sliding into her voice.

_Crap. Figured it out. How does she hear about Mimi? Roger sometimes sends postcards but I didn't think he would mention that. _

"Unfortunately yes," I say, "There weren't any jobs available at the time. I was trying out for Broadway shows at the time."

"And any family?" she asks.

"No… just…" I think for a minute. "Two children but, um… I'm pregnant," I finally admit. "I've got an older sister."

_Olive might shed a brighter light on my situation…_

"Did you just say you're pregnant???" she screeches.

_Or not. _

"And HOW old did you say you were?" she snaps.

"Um…" I look at Mark with a pleading look, "Twenty."

She begins to flip out when Mark suddenly runs over, noticing the look on my face and grabs the phone.

"Mom! Stop!" Mark yells into the phone. "April's a good girl!"

"Mark, I'm not liking the sound of this girl. April, did you say?" I hear her reply.

I walk into a corner and plop down onto the couch. Suddenly I find myself breaking down and crying.

"Now look what you've done! April's crying!" Mark snaps.

A flurry of horrible words come though the phone and I start sobbing harder. Mark starts arguing with his mother when I ran out of the room to vomit.

_I thought I was done. _

"April, are you okay?" Mark asks rubbing my back.

"Yeah," I sniff and go back to the couch and continue crying.

The phone rings.

**SSSPPPEEEAAAKKK!!!**

Just on cue a blizzard of insults come flying through the machine's speaker.

"April, just ignore her! I always do. She just wants me to marry the richest, purest girl I can find," Mark comforts hugging me, "But I don't want to. That's what Benny did. I want you."

_That's sweet, Mark, but that's not helping. _

I try to say something but the crying doesn't stop. Mark keeps trying to comfort me and the machine keeps spewing obscenity which doesn't help as my self esteem deteriorates with every word.

"But it's all true," I wail.

"No it isn't. You're better than that. She doesn't even know you!" Mark protests. "I am going to marry you and I don't care what she says. I love you and I have since you arrived on Avenue A, even if you didn't seem to notice me."

"I'm sorry!" I sob.

_I was so stupid! I saw him glance at me with a look on his face. _

"It doesn't matter!" Mark exclaims, "I don't care how long it took you! You care about me much more than Maureen ever did!"

"I do?" I sniff, finally stopping a little.

"You do."

Mark pulls me closer, leans in and pulls me into a passionate kiss, much better than any of those boys at school or even Zimmerman, and he was DRUNK that night. I close my eyes and the tears welling up in my eyes slow down until they stop. My cheeks were stained from all of the crying. I could tell that my eye makeup was runny and smudged but I didn't even care about that.

"It's going to be okay," Mark murmurs and somehow, I believed him.


	29. Agent April

**It's the newest random couple! Emerson and Lauren, confirmed!**

**Whatslifereally owns Lauren! I don't own anything! Just seven characters that are not currently in the scene (unless you want to count April's child, but she's still pregnant so I don't think it counts yet)! Pushing Daisies owns Olive and Emerson, Glee owns April! **

* * *

"Hey, April, look at them," Olive says pointing to Emerson and Lauren.

"I knew it!" I smirk.

_They ARE in love!_

Emerson is sitting at a booth with Lauren. They're looking at each other and hanging around each other.

"Well I'm glad she's happy."

"I can tell," I say, "I'll go drop off a pie and see what's going on."

_Because I have no idea what they're doing._

"Good luck, Agent April," Olive laughs.

I pick up a pie and walk over to Emerson and Lauren's table.

"So… what's the poop?" I ask.

"Oh, God, really?" Emerson groans.

"Nothin' much," Lauren answers.

"Well, did you ask for a three plum?" I ask, changing the subject.

_I need to keep near this table and hear what's going on._

"Well, I'm just gonna go clean this table now," I say dropping the pie on the table.

I hurry over to the next table and begin scrubbing an invisible smudge.

"Was that really even necessary?" Emerson complains.

"Yes," I reply.

"Not really. I don't get why you have to always be up in other people's business."

"I'm a Snook, what do you expect???" I reply, scrubbing the table again.

_We're always in other people's business._

"I expect you to be a normal human being and leave me alone!" Emerson snaps.

"Well I can't do that, honey," I say.

"NEVER again call me honey. EVER! E-V-E-R!!!" Emerson roars.

"Okay, okay! Sorry!" I yell, ducking under a table.

Codfish is kinda scary when he's mad.

"April dear, it is okay. He won't hurt you," Lauren says. Emerson rolls his eyes. "He is just a big, fluffy teddy bear."

Suddenly I start laughing hysterically. I can't help myself.

"BIG- FLUFFY- TEDDY BEAR!!!" I yell between laughs.

_I am NEVER going to forget this._

"Yes, April, I know," Lauren says.

"Lauren? Why did you have to say that, you know you just made this situation a lot worse."

I suddenly stop laughing.

"Nice, Codfish. You went from hard-core PI to big fluffy teddy bear," I smirk.

_He is NEVER gonna live this one down. I'll make sure of it._

"If you mutter a word about this to anyone, I swear…" Emerson threatens.

"Don't count on it, Teddy," I reply with a grin.

"Oh don't you dare tell Itty Bitty!" Emerson shouts, "Whatever she hears only stays in her brain for less than two minutes and then is told to someone else."

"You're point being?" I ask.

"Is you brain not working today???" Emerson snaps.

"It is, in fact, working quite well," I say, "Memory, to be specific."

"Every time I say something somehow Olive finds out… then it is spread around to my colleagues and I get a bad rep."

"Um… bye!" I yell and run over to my sister.

_I have to tell her! She's gonna love this!_

"What happened???" Olive asks, rolling out a pie crust.

I begin to snicker.

"Emerson… is… a… big… fluffy… TEDDY BEAR!!!" I yell before laughing again, "Ooh! Can I have pie?"

I stare at some pie hungrily.

"Teddy bear!" Olive laughs, "Sure, you can have some pie!"

I quickly grab an enormous chunk and stuff my face.

"I know, right???" I say, mouth stuffed with food.

"Well good work, Agent April," Olive says.

"Why, thank you, Olive," I reply taking a bow (sort of), "I think I have confirmed the new couple."

_Very obviously. Why else would Lauren say "Big Fluffy Teddy Bear"?_

"April Rhodes, I present you with this award for your courage and bravery," Olive giggles handing me another pie.

"And I thank you because I am still pregnant and hungry," I say, joining in the giggles and taking the pie.

"Well then, look at that," Olive says, "Are they holding hands?"

She points to Emerson and Lauren who are, indeed, holding hands as they walk out of the Pie Hole.

"Yes they are, sister," I say as I grab a fork.

"Well that is that," Olive says sticking the pie in the oven.

"I guess so," I reply beginning to eat the pie.

_This is REALLY good!_

"So have you started to plan your wedding?" Olive asks.

My eyes go wide.

"Oh! Crap, no!" I exclaim.

_Eeek! I forgot about it! I am so bad at this kind of stuff!_

"April, do you know how long it takes to plan a wedding???" Olive says.

"Yes, OH CRAP!!!" I yell.

"Here!" Olive shouts grabbing some old bride magazines and shoving them toward me.

"Ahhh!" I scream as a pile of magazines attacks me, "Where'd ya get all these???"

I grab a pile and slide my pie out of the way.

"Doctor's office, a few other places, but mostly the doctor's office."

"When did you get them from the doctor's office???" I ask, "Oh, crap…"

I just remembered…

"Oh, just whenever I take the kids to a checkup," Olive replies.

"Oh crap, oh crap…" I continue moaning and shove another bite of pie into my mouth.

"What's wrong, dear?" Olive asks.

"MARK'S PARENTS ARE COMING!!!" I wail.

_Why do they have to come???_

"Oh, God," Olive says flipping through another magazine, "Let's get started!"

"No, you don't get it!" I exclaim, "THEY HATE ME!!! You should have heard what they said on the message machine! Once, I cried my eyes out the two hours… though that might have been hormones…"

_You can never tell with those stupid mood-altering thingies._

"April, what did they say about you?" Olive asks.

"Um… I'd rather not…" I say stuffing a bite of pie into my mouth.

_It ain't good._

"Well when they get here I'm going to… to… do something!" Olive snaps.

"Oh, yes, that sounds very threatening," I say sarcastically, "I think I'll take my chances with the in-laws. Do you really want to know what they said?"

"Yes I do, April," Olive replies, "I need to know so I can tell them they are wrong!"

"Well, when they first heard Mark was engaged they said mazeltov, I have no idea what it means but I think it's the Jewish congratulations, but then Mrs. Cohen started pelting me with questions about my schooling and career and decided I was a downright slut and that I wasn't good enough for Mark. She really got fired up when she heard I had someone else's twins and now am having Mark's baby, and we're not even married. Mark's mother is a dang cranky old lady!"

_Also, she called and left a string of voice messages insulting me, but I'm not gonna go there._

"Well they haven't even met you so they have no right to judge," Olive announces.

"I don't know," I say, "My past definitely doesn't put put me in a good light for anybody's parents."

_And Mark's mother is downright fussy._

"Well neither does mine but I didn't have that problem. Or did I?"

"Olive, Ned's parents are dead or missing. Mark's are alive and angry… and very picky on their son's wife."

_Well, technically Ned's father isn't missing, just kinda MIA, but that doesn't matter…_

"What did Mark say about all of this?" Olive asks.

"Well he kinda got mad, argued with them on the phone, turned bright red for some reason I missed and hung up," I reply, "I didn't hear that part of the conversation. I kind of had to puke."

"Well at least he stood up for you," Olive says.

"I felt he would. The string of insults was the last straw. The machine kept cutting them off so they kept leaving a continued version of the last one."

And that was the time I cried for two hours straight.

"Well I know Emerson could leave a six day message on us," Olive comments.

"I kinda got this feeling he did," I say, "I did see him digging through our phone book…"

"Now I have to check the answering machine," Olive announces running over to see four messages.

"Well at least it's not ours…" I mutter following her over.

Ours meaning mine and Mark's. There'd be all sorts of horrible things on it.

Olive switches the machine on.

"**Hey, well Olive if you dare tell anyone about Teddy Bears I swear you will regret it,**" Emerson's voice says, "**Oh, and how I know that you know about it is because April is going to tell you everything. You might be wondering why I am telling you to keep your mouth shut, well because the last time people called me baby daddy. So keep your mouth shut. I mean I kept your secret about your high school murderer boyfriend!**"

"O-kay… so I'm glad it isn't Mark's machine. I should get a censor for that…" I mutter.

"Emerson knows Ned would get mad at him if he cursed at me," Olive says.

"True. Mark's parents obviously don't care. Next message."

"**Hello dearest, this is your mom,**" Mrs. Snook's voice says through the machine, "**I was wondering how you get a pet skunk? I have been lonely lately and I just wanted ****a little company to cheer up the house. Do they come in the color yellow?**"

_A YELLOW SKUNK??? DO I DARE BELIEVE WHAT I AM HEARING???_

"God, that lady's off her rocker," I say, "Next."

"You're telling me," Olive replies turning to the next message.

"**Hey, darlings, this is your mother. I just wondered if you heard about the life alert program. I've been thinking about getting it but I'm not sure yet… talk to you ****soon. Love you both.**"

"Ya know," I begin, "I think that is the smartest thing she's said in all the time I've known her."

"Same here. Next," Olive says.

"**Hey this is Benny from High School. Well I found out you work at the Pie Hole. It looks nice. Just got out of jail, I would love to talk to you sometime. Call me.**"

"BENNY??? He was in jail?" I ask, picturing Benjamin Coffin the 3rd.

_Well I think he's a butt but I don't think he should go to jail._

"No, April. You're thinking of the wrong Benny," Olive says.

"Oh. So this is the high school murderer?" I ask, cringing.

"Yup, he is the one," Olive replies, "My first love… or was he my fifth? Well that doesn't matter."

"Fifth?" I ask raising an eyebrow.

_Let's see… first love or fifth?_

"It was hard to keep track," Olive shrugs.

"You know you might be worse than me," I say, "And I went out with every guy in high school… well, they actually all wanted to sleep with me… I shouldn't have said that…"

_Me and my big fat mouth._

"Well college and high school where kind of a blur," Olive says, "Got in with the wrong people did some things I regret. Which was a lot."

"Yeah, I have that problem with high school. So many men…" I murmur before remembering my sister next to me. I blush. "Never mind."

"Well I better call this Benny guy," Olive says, "Well, he was nice… until he killed people but I bet he is nice now."

_Gee, anger management._

"You can never tell. Once this one guy was really nice with me but then he ended up expelled for… I shouldn't go there. Turns out though that he was like all the rest, just he wanted to sleep with me. Actually he di-" I stop myself and sing, "SHOULDN'T GO THERE!!!"

"Well, April you should get looking at these magazines. I am going to call this guy."

"Yeah, okay."

Olive goes over and talks on the phone for a minute and comes back over.

"Well I guess I'm meeting him at the park at three," she states.

"Well okay," I reply, "Be careful, he might be like this one boyfriend I had, he turned out to be a crack addict… I shouldn't have said that."

"If I am not home by five tell Ned."

"Got it. Five. Need to go censor my message machine."

I go back to my apartment. Mark is there and he's disconnecting the phone.

"Mark, what are you doing?" I ask, staring at him.

"That was the last straw," Mark says angrily. "My mother called again."

_Oh. HER._

"Let me talk to her," I say, "She should hear me out."

"I don't think that's a good idea. Remember the last time you heard what they were saying?" Mark asks, "I don't know what I'd do if she made you cry again."

"That was an emotion attack," I sigh, "I don't know how that started."

_Well, technically I DO, but anyway._

"Okay," Mark says, "But let me know if she gets mean."

"Sweetie, she's always mean," I reply. "At least from what I've seen."

Mark goes over to the next room and I call Mark's parents.

"Mark? Did you finally decide to call your mother???" a shrill voice comes in on the other end.

"No, he didn't," I say flatly.

"Oh. YOU. What do you want?" she demands.

_Cranky old hag, ain't she?_

"I would like you to hear me out."

"Why should I?"

"Because you're stuck with me," I say, "Mark wants to marry me and you can't stop him. Or me. I love Mark and he loves me back. I'm not another Maureen. I promise."

"How often did you cheat on your boyfriends then?"

_Didn't I just say I wasn't Maureen?_

"I've never cheated on any boyfriends."

"HOW Mark was won over by a slut like you I'll never know," Mrs. Cohen mutters.

"I'm telling you, I'm not Maureen," I say, "When I'm with someone I'm with just them. I never go off with anybody else or even flirt with some random person, that's Maureen!"

_Of course, I'm talkin' when I'm not drunk. That's a whole different matter. Those high school days were crazy. _

"Don't expect us to be at the wedding," she says simply.

_Thank God. _

"Goodbye then. I won't be calling," I snap.

"I'd prefer that. I just wish Mark would have picked a different girl to be his fiancee. You're just a girl!"

"You probably don't want to hear about your grandchild either, whenever that happens."

"Not if it's yours."

I slam the phone down, fed up with the woman.

_God, I shouldn't talk to her. I'm actually feeling thankful that I have Mrs. Snook for a mother. _


	30. Benny

**As you may have noticed, I finished THE RHODES I TOOK. Figured I should probably finish that haha. Oh and when they're discussing names, just PM me if you have an ideas! Or review! I'm open to suggestions! I'm just using the ones I've been given. Though I want to name it after Angel somewhere.  
Don't own anybody except twins, Zimmerman, this other kid, Carly, someth- wow. I own a lot actually. whatslifereally owns Carrie, Benny (2 haha) and oh you get it!

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**

"Hey, April, have you seen Olive?" Ned asks me.

"Um, no. Not since earlier today," I reply.

"April, where did she go?"

_Let's see. Should I tell him or should I wait? It's not five yet._

"Um… meeting someone?" I say.

"She hasn't been here since this afternoon! Where could she have gone?" Ned panics, obviously not hearing my statement.

"Ned, Ned, NED!!!" I yell grabbing his arm.

"Aaah! What???" Ned asks, still panicky.

_Gosh, he's so skittish._

"Ned, she's okay. She said not to worry unless it's five, then to tell you what's up," I reassure him."April, it's four fifty!"

"Oh look, it is," I say seeing the clock. "Um, I'll get movin'. Shift's almost up-"

I start to run off when Ned grabs me by the apron to stop me.

"April, where's Olive?" he asks again.

"Ned, she's seeing a high school sweetheart, Benny, I think. Not Benny the guy who demands Mark and me pay the rent, some other guy," I ramble. "Somethin' about jail…"

_Ya know, that might not get pretty._

"What???" Ned yells, a look of horror crossing his face.

"Don't worry. He was just released from jail, he must have straightened up!" I say.

_I hope..?_

"April, I'm going to go call the police," Ned announces starting toward the nearest phone.

"WHAT???" I yell, "No! Ned, we shouldn't be just jumping to conclusions! Um… maybe she's got stuff to do! So she's late getting back!"

"What if you're wrong???"

"Hey, look! It's five! I gotta go!" I exclaim starting out the door again.

"April, it's not five," Ned says looking at the clock, "And doesn't you shift end later than five?"

_Crap. So close… it's four fifty five._

"Um… it's times have been real shaky lately. Keeps movin' around. I should go make Mark his dinner or something…"

"Didn't you say you can't cook?"

_Oh yeah._

"Um… I need food..?" I say.

"Fair enough," Ned shrugs, "Are you sure you haven't seen Olive after she left???"

_NED!!!_

"I haven't! She left this afternoon after getting a phone call and she said don't tell you until it's five!"

With that I run back out the door, five or not.

Three hours go by. Still no Olive. I should check on Ned.

"Mark, come on. I think Ned's still freaking out over Olive. It's kinda weird, it's been hours since she left this afternoon," I say slipping a coat on.

I hurry down the stairs to the Pie Hole to find Ned with Emerson.

"Emerson, it's been three hours! What happened???" Ned worries.

"Um, hi Ned," I say.

Ned wheels around to see me. He seems to have been hoping that it was Olive, which makes sense.

"Bad news on the guy. He was a murderer."

_This ain't gonna be pretty. Who knows how he acted. From the whole three hours thing I don't think it's gonna be good._

"WHAT???" Ned shouts.

"Itty Bitty, what are you doing?" Emerson mutters.

"Emerson, I want you to go out and find her BEFORE she gets murdered," I say.

"Okay, what's in it for me?" Emerson asks.

_Crap._

"Ummm…" I begin, feeling around in my pockets, "Nothing. I'm flat broke. Ask Ned for the money."

It turns out that Olive was locked up in a shack a ways from the park. He found out that Olive was married, went nuts and tied her up in his shack.

_Ugh. Thank God I sent Emerson to go find her… once Ned paid him, of course. _

Apparently Benny tried to shoot Emerson. We've had him locked up but Olive has to be in the hospital for a while (her chair fell over and she hit her head) but she can't leave her room which is a pain and I have no idea how long she's stuck there.

Snook luck seems to be getting worse by the second.


	31. Bad News

**Okay so yes, I tend to torture April but I always feel really bad about it later!!! Oh and despite all of the horrible things happening (you'll see in the next few chapters, terrible things will happen!) but whatslifereally and I agreed that they will all have a happy ending in the end (whenever that is).**

**I DON'T OWN ANYTHING!!! WOULD I BE HERE WRITING FANFICTIONS IF I DID???

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**

I'm visiting Olive in her hospital room. She can't leave for some reason so I have to see her to keep her updated with my doctor apointments by visiting.

"Bad news," I announce walking into Olive's room.

"Bad news?" she asks.

"Yeah. It's the baby," I say.

_Crap, crap, crap…_

"Is it okay? Please tell me it's all right!" Olive shouts.

"Um…" I begin uncomfortaby, "Not exactly…"

"What does that mean??? April…"

_This ain't good…_

"Um… something stunted the baby's growth…"

_Bad doctor's apointment. Am I just doomed to bad luck? Never mind. That's the Snook probem for ya. I wonder how that works marrying Mark._

"Oh, God… April what did you do???" Olive demands.

"Either the wine at your wedding and before I knew or the coffee when you vanished and I couldn't drink."

When Olive disappeared I had to drink something over nerves but obviously I couldn't have wine now so I went for some coffee. Guess I kinda went overboard with it.

_I really shouldn't have done that! Well, at least I didn't take any wine after Olive's wedding…_

"Oh, April, I'm so sorry! This is all my fault!" Olive cries.

"What?" I ask, "No! This is NOT your fault! No way!"

"I should have stopped you from drinking that much at my wedding. This is my fault April I should watch after you, being your big sister and everything," Olive sobbs.

"Olive, we didn't know anything about this now, and before that is my fault. I can't stop that easily! That's my probem."

_And it's still a problem!_

"Aww, April, I just want your life to be great and I do whatever I can to do that. But I just can't fix this problem so I blame myself," Olive sobs.

"Don't," I say, "I have problems. That's just it and I can't do anything about that either

"Does Mark know yet?" Olive asks.

"Um, no but I'd rather not tell him."

_He'll either freak out or get depressed._

"April this is important. You need to tell him even if you don't want to."

"Um… okay. But he's not gonna like this," I say.

"If your scared I will help you tell him," Olive offers.

"Thanks. Oh yeah and I need to take this," I say taking out a bottle of pills.

"Stupid Benny," Olive sighs.

"Yeah. What was with him?" I ask.

_He seems like a jerk._

"I'm not sure…" Olive says, "He just is, uggg I'm not sure what he is."

"More twisted than Zimmerman?" I offer, "Yup."

"Well if you call kidnapping someone, tying them up, and then shooting someone twisted. Then yes."

_That is definitely twisted._

"I'd say that's pretty twisted. This sucks," I announce taking this pill I was given by the doctors.

_I wonder if it'll work. Well, I'm short and apparently alcohol causes abnormally short height._

"Yeah," Olive replies.

"Oh, hi April," Ned says walking into the room.

"Hi Ned," I greet him, smiling weakly.

"So are you two okay?" Ned asks, "You look pretty down."

"Not really. Problem with the baby," I explain.

"What's wrong with the baby???" Ned asks nervously.

"Ummm… stunted growth?" I reply.

"April I'm so sorry to hear that."

_Well, what can I do about it? I just won't have any coffee._

"More Snook bad luck I guess. The doctors think it's either the tons of wine I had in January or the coffee when Olive was missing."

"See, I told you Olive! Oops…"

"WHAT??? What's going on? Olive! You too???" I demand.

_No, no, NO!!! Olive can't be pregnant now!!!_

"Um… surprise!" Olive exclaims.

"Really? What if something happens, I hear that things like fainting causes problems later on. Anyway, we've still got my problem over here!"

"Hey I didn't know I was pregnant," Olive says, "I was told this only about an hour ago. Yes, back to your problem. I'm going to watch you like a hawk so you don't do anyhing wrong!"

"I have no idea that I'm doing this all wrong!" I say, "What else is there???"

"Well I don't think there is anything else, but I am still going to watch you."

"I have no idea what's wrong or what! How long have you been pregnant?"

It's June, by the way.

"A month," Olive replies.

"Oh," I say.

I decide it's one of those "better now than later" things and decide to go find Mark. I tell him and he isn't happy.

"What???" he yells.

"I told you. Something's wrong with the baby's growth," I say again.

"April, what did you do???"

_They always say that, but… never mind._

"Um… coffee stunts growth I think. But wine also causes problems in size with the baby too."

_Or something like that. I didn't really HEAR what they were saying. _

"April, why did you drink so much of the wrong stuff?" Mark complains.

"I don't know!" I exclaim, "Before the wedding I didn't know I was pregnant!"'

"What about all that coffee?"

"Nerves," I reply, "Olive was missing and usually I would've drank."

"Well thank God you didn't then," Mark says, "Who knows what could have happened to you or the baby if you drank more wine!"

_This is all my fault!_

"Mark, I'm sorry!" I begin to sob, "I shouldn't have been drinking in the first place!"

"April, April, it's okay!" Mark says, pulling me close.

"No it isn't!" I protest, "I should have had more self control! I've been trying to be sober for almost two years now, WITHOUT success!"

"Are you kidding me??? WITHOUT success???" Mark exclaims, "April, there are some people who still drink anyway, they don't think about the baby. But you do! That's one reason WHY you stopped, so nothing would happen."

"But something DID happen!!!" I wail, "It's not like I'm gonna forgive myself any time soon!""Why not? It isn't your fault!" Mark protests.

"Yes it is!" I cry, "I drank a bunch of crap! I can't just say that it's fine after it's affected the baby!"

_Not growing properly at that._

"April, it's fine! People can fix this kind of stuff!"

"Zimmerman?" I sigh turning away.

"Um… maybe."

I groan.

_It seems like I'm stuck with him, aren't I?_


	32. The Wicked Witch

**Ah, the insanity of April Rhodes/Snook/soon-to-be Cohen's life. Actually, her life is pretty much a giant insane, hectic, stressful mess of craziness.**

**Would I be writing Fanfictions if I owned anything?

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**

"Okay, WHO CALLED MARK'S MOM???" I demand, running (sort of) into the room.

"Someone called Mark's mom?" Olive asks.

"Apparently," I sigh, "She's coming over here."

"Oh crap… this isn't good"

"No. It isn't," I say flatly, "She already hates me."

"Well I will give her a piece of my mind," Olive announces, "And if I get a little bitchy about it I have an excuse… I'm pregnant."

"Well so am I!" I snap.

"Well then stand your ground! That woman might have raised Mark but she doesn't own him!"

"She acts like it," I mutter, "I've found myself crying pointlessly sometimes."

_Of course that's kinda weird._

"Come on, April! You need to be like me more often. Get mad! Come on it's not that hard, everyone gets mad once and a while."

"Olive, you get mad too often."

And I don't know if I CAN.

"I know, blame mom. But that's besides the point. The point is that you have to stand up for yourself and for Mark."

"Actually, where you're too extreme, I seem to be lacking," I say, still thinking.

_Like temper. Olive's is always flaring up and I never feel a bit mad. Usually._

"Okay, do I really need to teach you how to get mad?" Olive asks with a sigh.

"Probably. But anyway, I already yelled at her once."

"My God, that is hardly enough!" Olive shouts.

"True," I sigh, "Mark got on a few times and then we ignored her but it still came through the machine."

_And it won't SHUT UP!!!_

"Okay, here's what you do…" Olive begins when…

"HELLOO!! ANCHOVY! DEAR ARE YOU IN HERE???" Mrs. Snook yells.

"ITS OLIVE!!!!!" I scream

"Oh my goodness dear look at your tummy," she says pointing at me (does she HAVE to point this kind of stuff out???), "September, how long have you been pregnant??? Oh and Anchovy good to see you dear."

_Great. Now I'm September. Juuuussst perfect. Everyone, my mother, Miss Insane._

"Does anyone have Benny's gun? I might want to borrow it."

_Actually, I think I do somewhere…_

"Olive, what you have in you I definitely don't have in me."

"Her fault," Olive says and points at Mrs. Snook.

"Now Anchovy, I called you multiple times about this yellow skunk and you don't call back..."_She was serious?_

"Momsie, you can't get yellow skunks," I sigh.

"YOU CAN'T???" she asks in horror.

"Apparently not. Did you call Mark's mom?" I ask.

"Oh yes! What a lovely lady she was so kind. I can't wait to tell

her about my sock collection!" Mrs. Snook exclaims.

"MOM! WHY DID YOU CALL HER???" Olive demands.

"YOU JUST MADE MY SITUATION WITH HER WORSE!!!" I scream, "Olive, I didn't think she should know I have an insane mother so I told her I was an orphan like I used to believe! Now what??? She's staying in MY APARTMENT!!!!!!"

_This might not go well for anybody. No one's happy on the arrangements of any of this._

"In a situation like this one I run away… you don't have this option. So I have no idea what your going to do," Olive says.

_Thanks a LOT, sis._

"Oh, I remember the time when little Anchovy ran away… she was about 16… yes, 16… and she went to her boyfriend's house. I went over there to find her… she was hiding under his bed. She was a smart girl…" Mrs. Snook says beginning another ramble.

"Mom, your stupid monologue makes it sound like I am dead," Olive complains.

"And we know where running away got YOU. You could try yelling at her. I told her she's stuck with me and that I'm engaged to Mark and she can't change that."

_She knows that but she's still trying. Unfortunately._

"Oh I will yell at her alright… when is the witch coming over?" Olive asks.

"Oh, Anchovy… you where such a cute baby… one time when you-"

"MOM, SHUT UP!" Olive screams at our mother.

"Um… tomorrow," I say grimly, "She's lives in Scarsdale which isn't far."

_Tomorrow or sooner I heard…_

"Well you tell me when she comes because I'm going to have a long talk with her."

"I remember the time when Anchovy wanted a turtle…" Mrs. Snook begins.

"Thanks," I say and smirk, "A TURTLE, Olive? All I wanted was a roof and shelter… Okay, now I sound like Eliza Doolittle"

_ALL I WANT IS A ROOM SOMEWHERE…_

"Okay, it was only because my best friend had one!" Olive protests.

"I never knew who was my friend or not…" I say.

"For God's sake, MOM, WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST KEEP APRIL???" Olive yells.

"What dear?" Mrs. Snook asks, "I was thinking about the fun time I had in Paris."

I raise an eyebrow.

"Paris? Really?"

_She went to Paris. PARIS!!! I've never gone farther from Ohio until I ran away to New York. Bad idea, people. You'll end up like me._

"Oh my God, not this story again " Olive moans.

"Well it is a wonderful story, my dear. I went to Paris when I was, hmmm, about nineteen. I was on the top of the Eiffel Tower. Beautiful, I will have you take you there sometime. But I turn around and see the most wonderful man in the world… well not in the world but in Paris. I found out he was from NY too. He was great… we came back together then we got married and out popped little Anchovy!"

I stare at the crazy woman, eyes widening.

"Oh. My. God. Olive, have I ever MET your dad? Or is he crazier than her?" I nod my head to Mrs. Snook, "Because I have no clue. He married HER, but… I don't know"

_He married her, but then again, I've never met him. But she's nuts and who in their right mind would marry her? Well I don't know!_

"Oh you will love to met him… maybe I should call him sometime… he is a bit less crazy, more of a ladies man," Olive says.

"Okay, good… I think."

_Who knows. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?_

"Oh, one thing… he doesn't know about you yet…"

_Oh right. I was sort of a secret because I'm not his. Oops._

"Oh yeah. What do we tell him? Never mind. Momsie here will probably spill the beans. She's not exactly suttle."

"Beans! Oh I love beans!" Mrs. Snook exclaims.

"And that makes NO SENSE AT ALL!" I yell, "Maybe it's a good thing she didn't raise me. I might have ended up named Peas or something."

"Yeah, your right about that," Olive replies.

"Oliver, when your father and I got married I promised I wouldn't lie anymore but I did. Did you know that?" Mrs. Snook asks.

"Yes, mom, everyone knows that," Olive says flatly.

_Another new name? Oliver, Anchovies, September… next thing ya know we'll be Oranges and December._

"Oliver?" I sigh, "Why bother? We all know that. Though I'm not sure how many children she even had… ugh. I don't even wanna know."

"I think half of our generation is related to us," Olive remarks.

"Probably. But only a few look the same. And they call ME a slut…" I begin.

_Why? Look at my mother! You can't blame ME for that problem!!!_

"Mom, are you going to stay here 'till the wedding?" Olive asks.

"Is there cake?" Mrs. Snook asks.

"Yes."

"Then of course I am staying!"

_Great. A loony is staying here WHILE Mark's mother is here. This is just my day…_

"Trust me. You don't want any of my cake. I'm beginning to suspect that's what gave Maureen food poisoning last week..."

I baked more food (it's not disintegrating anymore) and Maureen volunteered to taste test it so I gave it to her. A while later she was puking her guts out but I don't think it's for the same reason as usually mine. I'm still afraid it's food poisoning.

"I got an idea," I say getting a cake I (tried) to bake, "I stink at baking. Should I give the poor woman food poisoning? I was trying this on Maureen a week ago and it might get rid of (I point to Mrs. Snook who is still singing) her. I see she ISN'T where our voices came from.

Olive can sing. I can sing. Our mother CAN'T sing. Must be our (probably unknown) fathers. Or something.

"Do it! Quickly, before I have to shoot myself," Olive says.

"Poor woman," I sigh, "Nobody deserves to suffer my foods. Oh well." I turn to Mrs. Snook, "Found a cake!" I hand her the it, "How much?"

"Yummy!" she exclaims and shoves a giant piece into her mouth.

_Wow. She's NUTS. Oh, here's where I begin to feel bad._

"Three… two… one…" I count down, "And here's where they turn a little green."

"Hey, she didn't turn green???" Olive shouts.

"Hmmm…" I mutter, "Green-ish tinges is a usual thing. Maureen turned green. So did Mark. But that was an accident. He didn't know I was trying to cook again."

"No, she has that natural greenish color from the seaweed accident… long story, don't ask…" Olive says.

_Seaweed accident? Don't wanna know!_

"I won't. Does she feel nauseous? My food has never failed at making someone sick before. Unless she has a strong stomach."

"What are you two babbling about???" Mrs. Snook demands.

"My cake," I say flatly, "Don't you know I can't cook? Olive, does she have any taste buds?"

_If she doesn't it would explain the lack of reaction to my horrible foods._

"Oh my gosh, I am doomed! DOOMED!!!" Olive cries.

"Yes, I think we are. Should I try one of my pies? Mark got some horrible bug from one yesterday. He thought it was from the Pie Hole!"

One sad day (yesterday) Mark was hanging around our apartment and he came across a pie. It wasn't suffering any burns or anything so he figured it was safe and I had stole it from the Pie Hole. He was wrong. A few minutes later he was as green as I usually am when I'm suffering those really bad bouts of morning sickness.

"Aw just give it up she is impossible to get rid of, believe me, I tired many times," Olive says.

"I believe you," I say, "Now what? Mrs. Cohen will be here in… probably a few hours! And that would be HER fault!" I point to Mrs. Snook.

"My mom's coming here???" Mark shouts, suddenly running into the area.

"Hey Olive, some lady is asking for April," Ned says

"Oh my God, it's her!"


	33. Bad to Worse

**Poor April. Such a sad life. I PROMISE THAT BY THE END THERE WILL BE A HAPPY ENDING FOR ALL!!! Oh and guess what? WICKED IS COMING TO MY TOWN!!! YEEE!!! I'M SO EXCITED! When I first heard I was about to scream or something but my throat wasn't up to it. If I had the voice I would be belting the Cheno note if I could.**

**Don't own. Sucks but it's true.**

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"Oh, CRAP!!!" I shout.

_WHY, GOD, WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO LIVE SO NEARBY IN NEW YORK???_

"Make her LEAVE!!!" Mark yells, "Quick!"

"What… we can't make her leave!!!" Ned and Olive shout at the same time.

"Well if you don't she might tear me to shreds!" I snap.

"MARK???" her voice yells.

_Crap._

"Hello, welcome to the Pie Hole," Olive greets Mrs. Cohen with a fake smile.

"Hide me?" I beg Ned with a pleading look. "Please?"

"Um… okay?" Ned says.

"Alright, whatever, where's Mark?" Mrs. Cohen snaps.

"Feeling a bit rude today?" Olive says sarcastically.

"Thank you, I seriously owe you my LIFE!" I say, "I'm not joking either!"

_How I WISH I were._

"Over here," Mark says, waving his hand slightly.

"MY BABY!" Mrs. Cohen shrieks, "Oh Mark, look at you dear! You look so nice! Now where is that girl you're going to marry?" she turns to Olive, "Pleeease tell me it isn't her!"

_Maybe Olive's right. I should face her._

"No," I say, walking over, "She's married. To him," I point to Ned, "But I don't make much of a difference."

Due to the whole "we're completely identical with a funny high-pitched voice" and all.

"Mark dearest, I don't get what you mean…" Mrs. Cohen says frowning at me.

"Mark my boy, mazeltov!" Mr. Cohen exclaims.

"I'm marrying Mark," I say to Mrs. Cohen, "Not too much difference, though. We look the same. Usually…"

I look downward.

"Oh, so you're April," Mrs. Cohen sighs.

"Yup," I say, "You're Mark's mom?"

_Oh, God._

"Yes, I am… how old are you again? Eighteen?"

"She's twenty one!" Mrs. Snook yells.

"Twenty, actually," I correct.

_Am I the ONLY one who knows my age here?_

"Greeeaaattt," Mrs. Cohen mutters.

"Poopy head!" Chardonnay suddenly shouts.

"Old lady!" Sherry adds.

"Please sweeties, not now!" I sigh.

_Wait, when did they learn that???_

"She comes with a lot of baggage," Mr. Cohen points out.

"Did they just call me OLD???" Mrs. Cohen demands.

"Well you are old, aren't you so nothing to get mad about," Mrs. Snook replies.

_Mother! Now???_

"Sorry about my twins, Cookie has been teaching them how to speak lately!" I explain picking one up in each arm, "Olive? Help?"

_COULD THIS GET MUCH WORSE??? Mark's mom came sooner than we thought, the twins are bothering her and she is not happy._

"Well Mrs. Cohen, I have something to tell you about my great sister April," Olive says.

"Olive, are you sure this is a good idea?" I ask uncertainly.

_It might not be good to yell at her when she's already annoyed from being called an "old lady" by my one year old daughter and "poopy head" by the twin son._

"Of course, am I ever wrong about anything?" Olive asks.

"Ummm…" I trail off.

_Maybe sometimes. There HAVE been a few… instances._

"See, you can't think of anything I was wrong with, I will be fine… Now Mrs. Cohen, April is a lovely lady. She is kind, happy, not hot-headed, like myself, and many wonderful things. So I think you should accept her.

"Are you kidding me?" she replies rudely.

"I told you she wouldn't accept me!" I exclaim.

"Come on you old hag, you're more stubborn than me!" Olive snaps.

"Excuse me!"

"Yeah, um, my sister Olive is… REALLY stubborn," I try to explain.

"She just called me a HAG!" Mrs. Cohen shrieks.

"Well you're a nice lookin' fellow," Mrs. Snook says to Mr. Cohen as she leans over.

_Now? Really? Flirting with my FIANCEE'S FATHER???_

"Um, I have a… REALLY loud… OUTSPOKEN family. That's the best way to put it and Mom… STOP flirting with my fiancee's father!"

"What was that dear?" Mrs. Snook asks.

"YOUR FAMILY IS CRAZY!!!" Mrs. Cohen shouts.

"I know," I sigh, "STOP FLIRTING WITH MR. COHEN!!!"

_My mother is STILL flirting with Mark's father and I find THAT quite a bit disturbing. I don't think I'd like another sibling ANY TIME SOON._

"So, do you come here often?" Mrs. Snook asks Mr. Cohen.

"Mom, this is a pie shop, not a bar!" Olive snaps.

"PLEASE don't say bar! Please?" I say.

I still have problems when people bring those kind of things up. Bring up a bar and I'll think of two things. Wine and the mishap with Zimmerman.

"Poopy head!" the twins shout.

_This isn't good. Cookie, what are you teaching them???_

"Sorry, sorry," Olive apologizes.

"Mommy, is this the poopy head meany that you told me about?" Cookie asks running into the room.

_Why is it that suddenly everybody I know is in the same room? Next thing you know the Bohemians are going to break down the door!_

"Uhhh… no," Olive says.

"Olive, what did you tell her??? Oh, where are my pills anyway???"

_This is insanity. Worse than La Vie Boheme at the Life. And that is CRAZY._

"How should I know where your pills are?! I ran… like I usually do so if you need to find me," she glances back at Mrs. Cohen, "I will be far away from here."

"I'm going to run now," I announce.

_I can't take another minute here!!!_

"NO, you can't run from this. I can but you can't, sorry April," Olive says.

"Aw come on! I'm stuck with her!"

"Old lady!!!" Chardonnay yells.

"Sweetie, please!" I exclaim hopelessly.

"Hey, I was stuck with mom! Chardonnay, don't say anything Carrie tells you," Olive says.

"Mommy, was she the mean lady, Madame Morrible, from Wicked?" Cookie asks.

_May as well be._

"Cookie, honey, this isn't Madame Morrible," I say, "Olive, she's a witch!"

"Well in Carrie's mind she is… maybe she could be nice."

"Good luck with that idea."

"At least I'm trying! You haven't even spoken to her yet!" Olive exclaims.

"What are you talking about? I've spoken to to her… sort of. Do you think the pie would work on her?" I say hopefully.

"No! Bad idea!" Mark shouts.

"Stay away from cooking her anything April," Olive instructs.

"Okay, maybe not…" I mutter.

_I was kinda hoping she would get food poisoning and leave._

"Just talk to her, get to know her. "

"Is that such a good idea?" I ask.

_Olive's ideas haven't always been the best… and we talked on the phone._

"Of course! It's a great idea!" Olive replies.

"Okay… where is she?" I ask, looking around.

"Ahhh!!!"

"Over there," Olive says.

"What is going on here???" I yell, seeing the strangest scene before me.

Cookie is kicking and punching Mrs. Cohen like no tomorrow as hard as humanely possible for such a tiny child.

"This little girl is attacking me!" Mrs. Snook shrieks.

"CARRIE! SHE ISN'T MADAME MORRIBLE!" Olive yells.

She seems to believe that Mark's mom is Madame Morrible, the actual villain of Wicked.

"COOKIE, SHE ISN'T A WICKED CHARACTER!!!" I shout.

"Ahhh!!!"

Olive runs over and picks up Cookie who is still hitting Mrs. Cohen.

"It's okay, Carrie, calm down," Olive says.

"She is going to hurt Auntie April!!!" Cookie sobs.

"Cookie, she is NOT going to hurt me! Physically, anyways…"

_I don't know about verbally. She already did on the phone._

"She is going to HURT you!!!" Cookie continues to sob.

"Carrie dear, it is fine she isn't going to hurt April," Olive says cuddling Cookie.

"Cookie, I'll be fine!" I exclaim.

"You will?" Cookie asks, looking at me with her large bright eyes.

_She's such a cute little girl. Lookin' more and more like Olive (and me technically) each day._

"I will, I promise!" I say.

"I don't like her," Cookie whispers to Olive pointing to Mrs. Cohen.

"I know, Carrie," Olive says.

"I don't know who does," I mutter.

It doesn't look like anybody likes her. Mark doesn't anyway… and he's her son. But she aproves of her daughter. Cindy, I think. She did everything right. She got married BEFORE she had kids and still keeps in contact. Mark abandoned his mother though.

"HEY!" Mrs. Cohen yells.

"Oh, look at the little Cherry! Hi Cherry!" Mrs. Snook exclaims.

_Cherry! Can't my mother ever get a name right???_

"Mommy…" Cookie gives Olive a scared look.

"It's okay dear," Olive reassures her daughter.

"Cookie, that's your grandma," I point at Mrs. Snook, "And that's Uncle Mark's mom. But we don't get along. She doesn't like me, like Fish."

"I don't like old people. Mommy, I don't want to get old."

"Everyone gets older dear, you can't stop it from happening."

"We can't do anything about it. It's going to happen, me, you, mommy, anyone!" I explain.

Cookie gasps.

"NOOOOOO!" she yells.

"Yes, Cookie, it's GOING to happen. Actually, I don't know if mommy will get older," I say looking back to Olive.

I don't know how the re-alive works exactly. Olive might age, she might not. Well, I know I'll get older anyway. Unless I die at some point and Ned touches me. Well, if I live, I'll age. I don't like it, but I'll deal with it.

"Oh shoot… I forgot about that part… April! How am I…" Olive trails off.

"Is mommy Peter Pan?" Cookie asks.

"Um… something like that…" I say.

"MY MOMMY IS PETER PAN! MY FRIENDS ARE GOING TO THINK I'M SO COOL!" Cookie yells.

"I'm not going to get old… oh crap…" Olive mutters.

"You're nuts! Most people would die for that…" I exclaim, suddenly remembering who I'm talking to, "Never mind. Cookie, you can't tell anyone."

_Wow. I am REALLY blonde. More than I even thought._

"Whyyyy not!!!!" Cookie demands.

"I am… they are… I won't… I can't… help?" Olive murmmers.

"HUH?"

"What are you talking about???" Mark suddenly asks.

"She is going to AGE! YOU are going to AGE! He is going to AGE!" Olive yells.

_I would have loved to not age._

"Uncle Mark, they won't let me tell my friends that mommy is Peter Pan!" Cookie complains.

"Is she now?" Mark asks looking at me.

"Hahahaha um… I'll explain later," I say smiling uneasily.

"This is terrible! My kids, what are they going to do when I don't age April??? No this can't be happening," Olive starts pacing, "No… no… no I'm just dreaming… yes one very long dream."

"Ya know, usually I would like to not age, but I don't think I'd die for it," I say.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Mark announces.

_We never explained the magic touch to him!_

"I want to age April! I mean, being young forever would be nice but what happens when Ned gets old!

"True…" I mutter.

"WHAT ARE YOU TWO TALKING ABOUT???" Mark shouts.

"I DIED MARK! SHEESH!" Olive snaps.

"And that make no sense at all."

"Um… I'll explain somewhere less… public," I say and look around.

_Way too many people in the Pie Hole._

"Why did I have to die now? I will have to go away! People will notice!" Olive continues.

"I don't know why you died now. You were shot when you ran away?"

"Yes, wasn't fun being shot. But I need to leave… people will notice!

Olive walks to the door.

"Olive, what are you doing?" I ask uneasily.

"Um… I'm going back to the apartment now," Mark mumbles walking off.

"Leaving…"

"Now? Where?" I ask, beginning to panic.

"Yes, now, and anywhere but here," she says and walks out.

"Olive, you can't leave now!" I protest and follow after.

"Oh yes I can!"

"Olive, I still need you here!" I beg.

"Why???"

_Crap. Should've thought that one through._

"Um… several reasons… I still want you here anyway."

_Of course! She promised she'd keep me from eating the wrong foods!_

"Well I don't think I can stay," Olive says.

"Come on, Olive! It's not like its's been THAT long and people notice! It's just been three years!"

"I can't stay! I just can't alright!" Olive snaps.

"Then where are you going???"

"It is not your business where I'm going

"Why can't you just stay here???" I finally ask.

"DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND I CAN'T TELL YOU THAT!" Olive yells.

"Okay… well… go if you have to… but I still want you here."

"Olive? Has anyone seen Olive?" Ned shouts from the Pie Hole.

"Oh God… I have to go…"

_And with that, Olive runs off._

"Ummm…" I say.

Ned walks outside.

"Where is Olive?" Ned asks.

"I don't know! She ran off again!"

_God knows where._

"WHAT??? SHE IS PREGNANT SHE CAN'T JUST RUN OFF!"

_Apparently she just did._

"Yes she can because I am going to right now."

I head for my apartment. Unfortunately I have the slight dillemma that I currently can't move very fast.

"NOOO! This is what her fourth time doing this… I can't take it! This is an emotional roller coster!" Ned complains.

"Yes it is and now I have to go take care of Mark's mother! Before she drags Mark away from me!" I snap and start off again.

"Did she say where she was going? Anything?" Ned asks.

_He's not gonna like this._

"Um, no. I tried to make her stay! I did!!!" I exclaim.

"I heard her complaining about something earlier what was it?" Ned asks.

"Oh that? Does your magic touch let people age? She was afraid that you, Cookie and me would all age without her. I said I'd personally like to not age but it wasn't something I'd die for… usually."

_I'd love to have eternal youth, but then again I'd have to die or kill myself and hope that Ned brings me back. Then never touch him again. That is WAY to complicated._

"I should have known!" Ned exclaims, "She won't age, but I will still love her doesn't she understand that???"

"I don't think that's it. I think she doesn't want to stay young while we wither and die."

_How depressing._

"But… I… she… baby…" Ned stutters.

"WHY ARE YOU ALL STUTTERING RANDOM WORDS??? WHAT DOES IT MEAN???" I scream.

_They do that way too often. Olive did that about two minutes ago!_

"WELL APRIL I AM MARRIED TO A WOMEN THAT LIKES TO RUN AWAY ON A MONTHLY BASIS, HOW AM I EVEN SUPPOSED TO LIVE WITH IT???" Ned yells.

_Ummm…_

"Not quite monthly basis. You met her three years ago and she ran away four times… that makes it about once a year," I say, "WHAT DID ALL THE

STUTTERING MEAN???"

"SHE IS RUNNING AWAY WITH MY KID!!!" Ned shouts.

"Oh. Yeah, she is, isn't she?" I say.

_Again, I am so blonde._

"Yeah!" he sighs, "I don't know how much more of this I can take."

"Well I've got some problems of my own ya know!" I snap.

"Oh… well she'll come back. What do you need help with?"

"Making Mrs. Cohen either like me or leave," I reply flatly, "Then the whole growth problem thing. But mostly Mrs. Cohen."

_The stunted growth I have time to take care of. Mrs. Cohen, not s'much._

"Do you want me to make her leave? I will try," Ned offers.

"Yeah, that might be the easier thing to do."

"Alright where is she?"

"Um, still in your pie resturant," I say frowning and pointing to the Pie Hole.

"Oh…" he walks back into the Pie Hole, "Mrs. Cohen, you have to leave."

"WHAT???" she shrieks.

"Um, Ned, not the best approach at this!" I whisper.

"I know how to handle this… also I'm in a bad mood," Ned whispers back.

"I'M NOT LEAVING UNTIL I SEE MY LITTLE BOY GET MARRIED!" Mrs. Cohen shouts.

"Even if it's me?" I ask moodily, "And the wedding isn't for a few months… like after I have the baby."

_I'd rather not get married while I'm about six months pregnant. Anyway, he proposed two months ago._

"WHATTT??? MY GOD WHY AM I HEARE THEN???"

She then storms out the door, Mr. Cohen behind her.

_Thank God._

"Well THAT was unexpected. But thanks, Ned."

"No problem. I guess she doesn't like you that much."

"Well I figured THAT out, Einstein," I snap, "Just listen to my message machine!"

"Sorry, gosh!"

"Never mind. Olive says I'm moody when I haven't been drinking."

"She's right…" Ned sighs.

"Stupid withdrawal…" I mutter, "Or maybe its the baby."

_It really seems to be affecting my moods._

"Maybe it's Olive and alcohol withdrawl," Ned guesses.

"Well actually I got off wine six months ago so maybe not. Olive is a possibility though. Or those hormones."

"Well April, I hope you feel better," Ned says, "I got to go take care of the kids."

"Should I get them? My shift is over, right?" I ask, unsure if I was done.

_It is so fuzzy these days!_

"Oh, okay sure," Ned replies.

"Where's Cookie? She was just attacking Mark's mom."

"I have no idea where she is," Ned says.

"Cookie? Where are you? Where'd mother go? She could get into heaven knows what trouble around here!"

"Great, everyone has gone missing!" Ned exclaims sadly.

"Oh nooo! I'm here! Carrie ran out the door after Oliver!" Mrs. Snook says.

"WHAT???" I scream and feel around for my pills, "Crap! I don't know where she's gone!"

_And I think I'm gonna get another clot if much else happens._

"OH WELL THAT IS JUST PEFECT! JUST GREAT!" Ned yells.

"Okay, I'm looking for them!" I announce beginning out the door.

_No way is she running out on me again. I will find her!!!_

"No you aren't!" Ned protests.

"Why???" I demand.

"Mark would kill me if you got hurt," Ned says.

"I am NOT going to get hurt!" I snap.

"You might!"

"No I won't!"

"MARK!!!"

"What?"

"NED!!!"

"April is trying to run off and find Olive and Carrie," Ned says.

"WHAT??? April, you can't!" Mark protests.

"Why not?" I snap.

_Why are these two guys telling me what I can and can't do??? I need to find my sister before some dealer does!_

"Told you!" Ned exclaims, "Wow, I feel like a five year old."

"Mark, just let me go find her!" I beg, "Oh, and Ned, you ACT like one."

_Several times a day._

"I can't just let you go run off!" Mark argues.

"It's already enough with Olive running off!" Ned adds.

"Ned, I NEED to find her."

"But you'll get hurt!" Mark protests.

"I'm NOT gonna get hurt!" I shout again.

They keep thinking that!!! Why won't they just let me go find Olive???

"If you do I'll blame myself," Mark adds.

"Why don't we wait for her to come home???" Ned asks.

"Because when she left it didn't sound like she'd come back any time soon!" I snap.

"What did she say specifically before she left???"

"Um… 'DONT YOU UNDERSTAND I CANT TELL YOU THAT!!!' Then she ran off… we sound the same, that's what she was like!"

"What shouldn't she tell you?" Ned begins to pace, "She tells you eveything!"

"How should I know? She wouldn't tell me!" I exclaim.

_Why ISN'T she telling me???_

"Okay, I'm done," Ned announces, "I've had it. If she comes back April, tell her it's over."

He leaves the Pie Hole.

_Over..?_

"Oh crap," I mutter and run after Ned, "WHAT??? Ned, she might start cutting or drinking or something if you say that! She only does that when she's depressed!"

_REALLY depresssed. I think that would make her THAT depressed._

"I don't care what she does! I tried everything and nothing works!" Ned complains.

"Well same went for my wine but I'm done… I hope," I say.

"Well it has been three years! No progress whatsoever."

"Well it took me…" I count on my fingers, "Four attempts to stop drinking! Actually, who knows what I'll do after I have this kid!"

I looks at my constantly growing stomach.

_Who knows? I might go straight back to my wine bottles once I have the baby!_

"Just stop it April, nothing is going to change my mind," Ned says.

"Fine."

I promptly step on his foot.

"OWWW!" Ned yells, "What was that for???"

"I'm just as stubborn as you!" I snap.

"Fine!" Ned shouts.

"Fine!"

"Don't expect any more free stuff from me! Or Olive!" Ned shouts.

"I won't!" I scream back and stomp off.

"April???" Mark calls running after me.


	34. Gone

**Okay so April now HAS to leave due to the fact that she reminds Ned too much of Olive. YET AGAIN she is moving away from wherever she is. April moves way too often.  
Don't own anybody. Ned, Lauren, April, anyone… well… except the twins and stuff but that doesn't count.

* * *

**

"Ned, I'm leaving and I'm taking Nathan," I announce.

"What??? No way!" Ned protests.

"No, he's comin' with me! It's not like he can LIVE in the Pie Hole!"

"NO, he is MY son and I have legal protection over him," Ned argues.

"Well he's MY nephew and I know a lawyer! Anyways, when can you watch him???" I snap back.

_Seriously, the only time he watches his kids outside of his work hours is when I'M with them or Olive is with them and sitting around the Pie Hole, my shift over._

"I cold close the Pie Hole for a bit! Then I can watch him!" Ned replies.

"Yeah, close the Pie Hole," I say sarcastically, "Ned, I don't know when Olive's coming back. The least I should do is take care of Nathan!"

_Sometimes Olive takes MONTHS to come back!_

"I don't want your help April! I want you to go away! Far away!" Ned yells.

"Okay, fine I WILL go!" I shout, "But I'm taking Nathan with me!"

"But you can't, he's my son!" Ned protests.

"Well I'm his aunt as in his mother's sister," I say.

"So???"

"Um… never mind," I finish, out of ideas, "But I know a bit more about handling children than you. I took care of Cookie, Nathan, and the twins while YOU were taking care of your Pie Hole!"

_Whenever I'm not working for Ned I'm taking care of his (actually Olive's) and my own… at the same time…_

"Well… I…" Ned sighs, "Just leave, April."

"Okay. I will."

I walk off slowly, not looking back.

Another few hours shows me how stupid I am. No one wants a pregnant high school dropout. It's always one or the other. They don't think I'm smart enough since I dropped out of school or they don't think it would look good to have me around WHILE pregnant. I find myself turning to Lauren for help. I don't think it would be a good idea to go back to the Bohemians on this one.

"Can you help me?" I ask walking up to Lauren.

"Oh sure, what do ya need honey?" Lauren asks.

"Um… a job, a home and to make sure I don't eat the wrong foods," I reply feeling guilty for all my neediness, "Sorry."

_I really need a LOT, now that I think of it. I even have to be careful with my diet!_

"Sure sweetheart," Lauren says, "Olive is almost like a daughter to me and you will be too! Come with me, I have an empty apartment upstairs you can stay in."

An empty apartment??? I can't believe my luck! Well… for a Snook anyway…

"Thank you!!!" I exclaim, ready to hug her or something, "Sorry for all the trouble!"

"No problem at all dear."

"You sure?" I ask, "I could just slip back to my broken down apartment."

Not a very good place but then I'm not causing my friends any problems.

"No, you're not going back there," Lauren says, "You're going to stay here. I don't you gettin' hurt or anything."

"WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK I'M GONNA GET HURT???" I yell.

Ned, Lauren, Mark, EVERYONE!!!

"Because you look like you're going to fall over at any moment."

"Oh that's nice," I say sarcastically, "Thank you for that WONDERFUL piece of information! It's not like I'm a cripple!"

"You look like you ate a bowling ball April, that is the only reason. And when I talked with Olive she told me to make sure you where safe."

"Wait, when did you talk to Olive?" I ask, wondering who's seen Olive since she left.

"Yeah, isn't she at the Pie Hole with Ned?" Lauren asks, "I mean she was just here this morning telling me… not to tell you she was here… crap."

"She ran away again! I'm afraid she's gonna do something stupid."

_Like start cutting, strip or drink._

"But she was here telling me she was alright!"

"Lauren, what happened last time Olive disappeared? That would be three months ago."

I would know.

"Well she came here a couple of times she likes to grab food or something before she goes off to whatever she does," Lauren replies.

"And that whatever is cutting, drinking, and possibly strip."

"What??? That is what she has been doing???" Lauren shouts.

"YES!!! Remember when she came back last time??? She drank in my face, knowin' I can't, showed me her cuts and you remember!"

"Yes but she is stripping??? Selling herself??? I can't let her do that! She is like my daughter!"

"Well she did", I say, "I did too, actually. That's how I accidentally got too much attention and then got pregnant."

"Both of you??? Oh God… April, what are we doing to do?"

"How should I know? I just did it because a job was a job and Broadway wouldn't take me. My friend offered it to me. You remember the Bohemians at my birthday? I used to live with them. They took care of me."

"They were sweet folk," Lauren says, "But… Olive… why would she do that to herself?"

"First of all, Mimi is an exotic dancer. That's why Emerson refers to me as a hooker," I say, "As for 'why does she do that?' why do I drink and work at the Cat Scratch?"

"Well we will find her. Do you want me to put your stuff in your apartment for you?" Lauren offers.

"Yes please. I'd rather not drag my junk around today."

"I will get Emerson to do it," Lauren smiles.

Yeah, I'd like to see that. Emerson taking care of MY stuff!

"Thanks. Mark is getting the twins now."

"What about little Nathan and Carrie?" Lauren asks.

"Ned won't let me take Nathan. Cookie ran off. She's missing… OH CRAP! I still need to go find her!"

I start out the door.

"Wait, I'll help you!" Lauren yells and follows.

We make our way around to an area familliar to me.

_Crap, Lauren shouldn't be here!_

"Okay a quick warning," I say, "This area can be really dangerous but I lived here. If a shaggy guy with a beard says anything just turn him down. He's the drug dealer."

"Alright dear, but you better stay close to me I don't want you gettin' in trouble," Lauren replies.

"Lauren, I used to LIVE here! I know my way around."

"Sorry… just care about you and your baby dear. Don't want you to get hurt."

"Well that's so nice of you. Great, now the baby's kicking," I complain (and yes, it has).

"I understand what you are goin' through dear. Now lets look for Carrie."

"We should get movin'," I say, "Ahhh! The baby wouldn't stop kicking all night!"

_Why does it have to start NOW??? I'm lookin' for Olive and Cookie!_

"Well I guess you have a little soccer player in there, honey," Lauren says.

"Strange for two Bohemians," I reply with a laugh.

"Maybe it is just dancing…" Lauren says, "Were you singing April?" Lauren laughs.

"Actually, I was, I answer, "Mark asked me to sing since I haven't for a while."

"It likes your singing, April"

"I guess so. Wait… doesn't everyone?"

I smirk.

_It seems that EVERYONE likes my singing… except Broadway._

_"Well that's true."_

As we continue down the way I begin to sing.

Suddenly Cookie runs out of an ally.

"Auntie April!!!" she yells.

"Well we should of had you sing before," Lauren observes.

I hugs Cookie.

"Cookie, where have you been???"

"I followed mommy here. She got mad at me and told me go go away. She doesn't like me Auntie April!" Cookie sobs.

I start singin

g to calm Cookie down. I turn to Lauren.

"My singing can calm her down," I whisper.

"Oh alright…"

_Wait, Cookie always likes my singing, if Olive can't sing at the time I do. Wow, I'm having a lot of blonde moments."How could I have forgotten!" I exclaim, "Whenever Olive isn't home Cookie asks ME to sing for her."_

"Awww April that's very sweet of you to do," Lauren says, "Carrie honey do you want some cookies when we go back home?"

Carrie rubs her eyes and slowly stops crying and nods.

"Well she is my niece," I point out, "I think the baby stopped kicking. Come on, Cookie."

I pick her up.

"Let me carry her," Lauren says and holds out her arms.

"Alright," I hand her Cookie, "I CAN carry her though."

_I'm not weak or anything…_

"I'm not listening to you April…" she giggles and hugs Cookie, "Let's get going Carrie I have some very good cookies you can have at home."

"Ya think you could help me figure out what I'm doing cooking? I keep trying but… yeah."

_Blows up in my face._

"You will have to learn how to cook April, it is kind of important. I will teach you."

"That would be good," I remark.

"Here you are Carrie," she gives Cookie a cookie.

_Well that's a strange thought._

"Cookie, I had to move again," I say and get some ingredients, "So…"

_Now what?_

"Why did you move?" Cookie asks.

"Here's the recipe, follow it exactly April," Lauren instructs.

"Um… daddy doesn't want me around now, sweetie," I say and start trying to follow the recipe. "Um… Lauren?"

_It's doin' somethin' weird…_

"I want to see NATHAN!" Cookie pouts.

"April, only two cups of sugar not three!"

"What?" I look at recipe, "Oh… oops."

"I want to see Nathan!" Cookie yells again.

"Um… I can't get him. Lauren?"

"Um… Carrie, sweetheart its going to be all right you will see Nathan soon."

"Yeah, um, I just can't go."

I start to redo the recipe.

"Carrie your mommy will come back and everything will be alright again."

"She will???"

"Of course! She always comes back!" I exclaim, but I think I'm trying to convince myself.

"Yes of course…"

I start pounding recipe which is hard as rock.

"Oops…"

"I have enough ingredient to last you all day April, keep trying," Lauren laughs.

"Okay…"

I starts trying to tug the rocky object out of the bowl.

Cookie giggles.

"YES, I know honey," I say but laugh also.

"Auntie April is funny!" Cookie exclaims.

"I guess I am, dear. Lauren, what makes this so hard???"

_I can't do anything right! Not even a simple recipe with full instructions!_

"It isn't hard to do at all. It is the easiest," Lauren says.

_Oh, great!_

"You sure?"

I poke the rock hard stuff.

"I'm sure. Maybe you should just let me cook and you can serve the customers," Lauren says.

"Okay. Good idea."

_Well I know I can serve customers._

"Well at least you tried."

"I've tried. A few times."

"Well you will get the hang of it sometime," Lauren tells me.

"Hopefully…" I reply.

"Well look at that…" she looks over at Cookie, "She's asleep."

"Awww. She looks so much like Olive"

"I know… acts like her too."

"A lot," I say flatly.

"Sweet girl, though she means well."

"Like me."

"Yes just like you," Lauren replies with a smile.

"I think that's a bad thing," I point out.

_As in we do somehtin' wrong meaning well but we can be very stupid._

"Oh well that is true but you are both kind of alike in a way."

"Lots of ways. Like when we're bothered we do something insanely stupid."

_As in run off flat broke and get drunk and end up in some kind of trouble._

"Yes that's one," Lauren says.

"The good things are singing and looks," I say.

"You both try to be good mothers on the most part," Lauren adds.

"We're pretty bad at it," I observe (at least I am), "The twins didn't learn to walk (or talk) until Ned helped! I don't know what's gonna happen here with this new one."

_What does one do when they couldn't teach their children to speak and is now stuck pregnant again?_

"How about Mark? He will help right?" Lauren asks.

"He is now," I reply, "Before that I had no idea what to do, the twins have such a bad mom!"

_I REALLY can't do anything right!_

"Don't say that April, your a great mom. Some parents don't even try to love their kids, and you give them lots of love."

"I try," I say, "I didn't have parents myself."

_I was alone._

"Well I think you're doing a good job for a beginner without parents of their own," Lauren says.

"Are you sure?" I ask, "But if I can't handle twins how am I gonna take care of three???"

_This might be bad…_

"I will help you no worries."

"Thank God."

"LAUREN COME HERE AND HELP ME!" Emerson roars.

I look and see him carrying a beat up Olive who seems near death (_AGAIN!_).

"Oh my God!!!" I gasp.


	35. Crap

**Sorry for the AWOL. No time to type!**

**I DO NOT OWN APRIL OR ANYBODY! JOHNATHAN LARSON OWNS RENT AND SOME PERSON OWNS APRIL!

* * *

**

"OH MY GOD!!! CODFISH WERE DID YOU FIND HER???" I yell.

One second she isn't even here the next she's turns up completely blood-covered and bruised.

"She was rocking back and forth talking to herself about three blocks from here!"

"Oh my gosh," Lauren says, "April, close the shop. Here Emerson, bring her upstairs."

I hurry around closing shop while muttering about whoever did this is gonna pay and I'll sue them and ask Joanne for help.

"APRIL GET UP HERE QUICK YOU NEED TO HELP OUT!" Lauren suddenly shouts from upstairs.

"OH MY GOD WHAT'S HAPPENING???" I yell hurring up the steps.

Olive shakes and rocks back and forth sitting on Lauren's bed.

"Well, all I can think of is that Olive WAS pregnant," I say.

"OLIVE WAS PREGNANT???" Lauren and Emerson shout.

"Alright I need to calm her down," Lauren says and sits down next to her, "Olive honey?"

"Olive?" I say.

"Mommy??? Mommy is home!" Cookie suddenly yells running in toward Olive.

"Yes, she is. Cookie, it's not a good idea to see mommy now," I say and mutter, "It would be just great if I could have some wine right now."

"DON'T EVEN MENTION WINE APRIL OR YOU ARE GOING TO GET IN SO MUCH TROUBLE IT WON'T EVEN BE FUNNY!" Lauren yells.

Cookie stares at her mom.

"Mommy? Why is Mommy bleeding?"

"Olive, sweetie, what happened? Did they attack you?" I ask.

"Here Emerson take Carrie down stairs April and I will try to get Olive to talk," Lauren says.

"Alright…" he says and carries Cookie out.

Olive nods as tears fall down her face.

"Keep asking questions April, when I asked her she didn't respond."

"Were they drunk?" I add.

She nods.

"Olive, sweetie, what happened?"

Olive doesn't say anything.

"I think her brain is going through a protection system…" Lauren explains to me, "It is shutting down like a bank does when it is getting robbed it is locking the vault, so nothing gets in."  
"Crap.

_Well how am I supposed together back at this if I can't get any information???_

_I try to hug Olive but pulls away due to blood_

Olive flinches and pushes me away

"Olive, it's okay. You're with me now, whoever did this is gonna go to jail, I'll make sure of it. (I whisper to Lauren) I know a lawyer, a real good one!"

"Oh good."

"Olive, honey, I'm trying to help you, can you tell me something? Please?" I beg and gently take her hand.

Olive looks around.

"I killed it," she whispers.

"What, honey, you killed what?"

_WHAT COULD SHE HAVE KILLED???_

Olive looks at her arms.

"I killed it…" she repeats and begins to cry.

"Olive, I don't think you killed anything. You're not the type."

"Ned."

"Alright so she says I killed it and and Ned? Well at least she is semi-talking," Lauren says.

"Um… does it have to do with the baby? Olive, if you want whoever did this arrested ya gotta help me!" I exclaim, ready to break down.

She nods.

"I killed it… I killed it!"

"Olive, you didn't kill it! How could you have killed it???"

Olive sits up and stares blankly at the wall tears form as she screams and starts to cry.

"Olive!"

"I think she is have a flash back or something," Lauren says.

"Olive, it's okay! I'll have them punished, whoever did this! Just help me, please!"

"Just let her sleep dear. She's probably tired."

"Good idea," I say, "Shoot, I should have gotten that cot from my apartment!"

"It's fine, I will watch Olive tonight, just go back to your apartment and rest."

"Um… I think it's still empty…"

"Alright then go stay where Mark is then…"

"Um… Avenue A is pretty dangerous," I say.

"You can sleep on the couch in the other room," Lauren offers.

"That'll do fine."

"Alright."

Lauren sits next to sleeping Olive, petting her head.

"Well, night Lauren," I say and start singing softly

"Night, dear."

"Wake me if anything happens… well, if I fall asleep anyway. The baby started up again."

I look back down at my stomach.

"I will."

"Oh and keep all types of wine away. I'm getting the urge to have some," I say.

It would be just great if I could go black myself out right now.

"Already did."

"Good. The stress with Olive turning up this way is killing me… crap. Pills. My (sober) mind can't bear this!" I cry.

_How am I supposed to handle stress sober???_

"April, you're going to worry yourself to death," Lauren says, "Just get some sleep."

"Alright," I say and walk/waddle off slowly toward the next room.

Not to long later I hear a loud scream.

"WHAT'S HAPPENING???" I shriek tearing into room while shoving a pill into my mouth.

"Olive! Olive dear, wake up! Wake up Olive!" Lauren calls.

"Olive, you're okay! What's wrong???" I yell.

She stops screaming and begins to cry.

"Bad dream I think."

"Oh that's a relief. I was afraid it was something else," I say and take another pill.

"Olive… Olive? April, do you think you can talk to her?"

"Well I'll try. Olive, what's wrong?" I sit down on the bed next to my sister.

Olive looks up at me with lifeless eyes.

"Honey, what were you dreaming? I'll try to help," I say.

Olive nods.

"Bad dream? Was it about what happened?"

She nods.

"Him…"

_God I hate him… whoever he is._

"He beat you. A lot. Did he… um… rape you?"

She nods and begins to cry again.

"Oh my gosh…"

Crap… JOANNE!!!

"Lauren! Where's your phone?" I demand, "I'm calling Joanne, she's a friend of mine and a great lawyer. Olive, HE IS GONNA PAY!!!"

_Like, NOW. I think I will kill him if I see him._

"April, calm down, we can't even get her to tell us very much yet, we should wait a bit before we call in the lawyers."

"Lauren, Joanne is a great lawyer. I think she should know, she's a close friend."

"Alright… the phone is right out in the hall. Make sure you can get her before Olive falls back asleep."

I walks over to phone an calls then come back after calling Joanne

"She's coming in a few minutes," I announce.

"Do you want to watch her for a bit? I will go down stairs and wait for Joanne."

"Sure, that's fine." I sit by Olive again, "Olive, can you stay up? Joanne's gonna help us."

Nods and smiles weakly

"That's good. Whoever this is is going to jail. I'm making sure of it."

Sighs and looks at stomach

"I know," I say softly, "But he's gonna pay for doin' ALL of this to you. You still can't say much, huh?"

Olive nods and hugs me.

I gladly hug her back.

"Joanne is here!" Lauren says and brings her upstairs.

"April, your sister was RAPED???" is the first she yells.

"Unfortnately yes," I say, "I want him arrested!!!"

I can't believe it! I'm mad! At someone!

Olive hides her face in a pillow.

"Can she speak again yet?" Joanne asks.

"No."

"That's gonna make this a little tougher. How long ago? Over a week?"

She nods and holds up a finger.

"Um… okay, a finger… Lauren, any ideas?" I ask, completely not understanding.

"Dear I think she meant one week ago."

Oh duh! Why am I so dumb?

"I thought so," I say quickly.

"He kicked you?" Joanne asks.

Olive nods and points to the spots she was kicked

"Oh God," I mutter, "Um, didn't he punch you?"

She points to stomach and begins to cry again

"Oh… I'm gonna kill that-"

"April, it's not going to help anyone," Joanne inturrupts.

"Why is she crying about her stomach?" Lauren asks.

Snook glare.

"The baby died, Lauren."

"The baby WHAT???" Lauren yells.

"Olive was pregnant, Lauren!"

"I KNEW THAT, I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT THE BABY DYING THOUGH!" Lauren shouts.

"Look at her injuries!!! It so hints it!!!" I snap and do the Snook glare.

The punch spot just screams death!

Olive stares teary eyed at us.

"Sorry."

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Joanne adds.

"Olive dear," Lauren tries to hug her but is pushed away.

"Let's keep going."

"So we have the injuries. Did he rape you before he beat you or later?"

She holds up a finger and points to the kick bruises

"Um… after?" I guess randomly.

Olive shakes her head

"Before?"

Nods.

"Okay. I still think I should kill him."

"Joanne how do you plan to catch the guy if she won't tell us?" Lauren asks.

"It usually takes a few days and her speaking should come back. It happens whenever the brain suffered emotional breakdowns," Joanne explains.

Olive yawns.

"NO OLIVE DON'T SLEEP YET!" Lauren yells.

"We still need your help here!"

Pouts.

"Olive, this is all to make him pay!"

_So then I can kill him. I'm no longer the only trained assasin here._

"Well start askin' the questions you two! She isn't the only tired person here!" Lauren complains.

"Lauren, you go sleep. I'll go from here. If you're tired I'll watch Olive!"

"Thank God… good night April"

She leaves the room.

"Well anyway… Joanne, can you do anything?" I ask.

"I just need to wait for her to speak. Don't know who to find."

"Olive, who did this?" I ask.

Olive hides her face in the pillows

"Oh God. Olive, you think you could tell me tomorrow?"

"Cam…"

"Cam? Um… Cam… is that half of the name? Cam… Cameron?" I ask.

_Maybe? Hopefully? What ELSE goes wig Cam???_

She blinks and cocks her head to the side.

"Is that it?" I ask, I'm thinkin' no. "Joanne, I don't think she can remember his name."

"Maybe we should wait a while. I'll be back soon, call me when she can talk again," Joanne says before leaving.

Olive sighs

"Don't worry. We'll get him. I'm too stubborn and mad to let this slide."

I hug Olive.

_Wait… I'm mad? I said it aloud?_


	36. Author's Note

Author's Note

To Ryan Murphy. (Or someone in the _Glee _writers.)

I know you're readin' this…

_**FOR GOD'S SAKE, DON'T MAKE KRISTIN CHENOWETH STRIP! WHAT THE HOCKEY STICKS ARE YA THINKIN'?**_

That was _not_ what whatslifereally and I were implying! We said _Dance Like Mimi Marquez from RENT_ not _Strip Like Gypsy Rose Lee!_

_THERE IS A DIFFERNCE PEOPLE!_

If it were up to me she'd be singing _Sing From Your Hoo Hoo_ from _Ellen the Musical_, not strippin' down for God knows why!

I went to and I found a thing saying "Kristin Chenoweth _Promises_ to Strip in Future Episode of _Glee_" and according to whatslifereally, a friend who looked further into it, she'll be almost naked.

_**I DON'T THINK SOME PEOPLE WILL REALLY WANT TO SEE THAT!  
**_That, and it doesn't sound like Kristin wants to do that.

Okay, that's it for my rant. Continue on with your business, my readers.


End file.
